I met my inner Demon yesterday, formally. It had come to my attention that, 1) he really existed, and 2) he and I have been struggling against each other for a long time, and it just wasn’t going well for either of us.
I called to him and we separated from each other (still connected but he took his “pure” form astrally). He was shorter than I expected. I thought he would look like me or at least be my size, but nope. He is about 5’11", red, and looks a bit like a muscular, young adult version of when Jack Jack turns into a demon in The Incredibles.
Through decades of frustration, he had taken to channeling his destructive nature towards me. Makes sense. Since we hadn’t worked together, he didn’t have the opportunity to really express/be himself in any way that could truly benefit both of us.
So, as we reconciled and agreed to work together from here on out, the destructive/creative nature of Fire (I mean, he is from Hell) became a little more clear. As he had been confined, and consequently gone a bit stir crazy, his fire had been turned on his environment (i.e. me). But when he is allowed the opportunity to channel his fire THROUGH his environment, it’s beauty and power can be fully realized.
On a side note, several things over the years became clear when he and I got on the same page. For example…
I had a dream when I was in high school that a was in Hell. Thousands of red demons were running across blackened hills. Here and there there were yellow demons running, who were bigger. I was a red demon and I was standing with a handful of other red demons by the edge of a cliff, watching the others as they ran. I remember seeing three yellow demons run together, shoulder-to-shoulder, barreling through any red demons who got in there way.
Everyone was running for “the prize,” whatever that was. And I remember thinking, “There has to be something more than just this.” And then I woke up. But it didn’t feel like a dream; it felt like a memory.
That was my Demon’s memory!