Hello everyone. I’m posting this thread to share my experience with this ritual, just in case someone wants to perform it or is thinking about it. I have been thinking about performing this ritual for quite some time, because Hecate is one of the deities that I’m really interested in and also because self-exploration is something that I’m invested in and this ritual at first glance seemed to be all about that. It turned out that was only one aspect of it. Apart from getting some insight about myself, I also learned a few things about the path of Hecate and at what techniques I need to improve on in my practice.
For two days before the ritual, as well as the three consecutive days that the ritual took place I gave offerings of incense and water to the Goddess and I also anointed her sigil with my blood in the first day of the ritual to strengthen my connection to her. The specifics of the ritual can be found over at the website of the TOAF: [url=http://ascendingflame.com/materials.html]http://ascendingflame.com/materials.html[/url] . Now, here are my notes from the ritual itself.
Day 1: After completing the guided meditation, I was standing in front of the Goddess, after drinking the potion she gave me. She was wearing black hooded robes, with a golden crescent moon on the top of the hood, before lowering her hood and showing her serpentine face as written in the ritual instructions. My attention turned to the white fire next to her. With my hand, I touched the fire. It didn’t burn at all but it felt cold instead. I took a small white flame in my hand. Then, I touched the white flame on my forehead and it got absorbed. Everything went black for a few seconds and then I saw something that looked like an entrance to a cave, but it was actually a huge mirror. I looked into the mirror and saw my reflection smiling back at me. My reflection had long hair for some reason. I also saw glimpses of the surrounding forest and heard the voices of the animals that inhabit it. Afterwards, I was again standing in front of the Goddess. She was looking straight into my eyes and I looked back at hers. Her eyes were emerald in color and they where shining bright. A few seconds later, she cut her hand with a small dagger and painted my whole face with her blood! She said to me: “You can be one of the Elven-blood if you want to”. I thanked her and closed the ritual, as I was getting tired and felt my concentration waning.
However, that wasn’t the end of it. The following day, in the early afternoon, I decided to take a nap after eating too much for lunch. But, I couldn’t possibly expect what followed. As I fell asleep, I saw the Goddess again, wearing her black robes with the golden crescent moon on top of her head. She took me by the hand and we travelled to a glade of some unknown forest. I could see a huge fire in the middle and I could hear the sound of fast beating drums. Around the fire, there were a lot of people dancing ecstatically at the drum music, all of them women. Some of them were wearing short skirts made of animal hides, while others were completely naked. All of them had strange white markings painted on their bodies and they were wearing skull masks. Their appearance kept changing between young and old. As I looked behind them, I saw the drummers, all of them men, furiously beating their drums. They also had white markings on their bodies and they had skull masks on their faces. There were others there too, apart from the dancers and the drummers, on the surrounding scene, some were drinking wine, others were laughing and others were having sex. I guess one could say, that my dream matched exactly with the descriptions of the witches sabbat. It was a really cool experience and I can remember every detail of it, which is even more surprising to me as I rarely remember my dreams.
Day 2: Unfortunately, during the second day of the ritual my concentration was not that good for whatever reason and my vision was much shorter and not as clear as it was in the first day. I did get some valuable insight though. I reached the chamber at the threshold of the Underworld, as described in the ritual instructions. I activated the mirror with my blood and looked inside. I visions of ghosts flying around, snowy mountains, a small, smiling black imp and the tower card from my tarot deck. In the end, I also saw the faces of happy people, bathed in bright light. Then, the Goddess herself emerged from the mirror and told me that there is both darkness and light within me. At this point I couldn’t hold my concentration any longer and I kept getting distracted by other thoughts, so I thanked Hecate and closed the ritual. In contemplation, I think that the message was quite clear. I believe that the mirror showed me that I have some unresolved issues from the past, as well as fears and perhaps insecurities that prevent me from being as happy as I would like to be in my life. Whatever the case, I’ll have to investigate more.
Day 3: Picking up from where I stopped the previous day, with the Goddess as my guide I entered the portal leading to the nightside realm. We arrived at some castle’s hallway. It was dark and narrow. We started walking and after a while I saw a door at the end of the hallway and I opened it. Then, we were standing in front of the actual castle at night. It was hovering in midair and it could be accessed by a huge, spiral staircase. Behind us there was a forest and we entered. After a little more walking, we arrived at a glade with a statue and a fountain in the middle. As we reached the fountain, the Goddess touched the water and it turned into blood. She told me not to drink from this fountain because it’s not the time yet. Then, a carriage arrived behind us and we jumped on it. The carriage took us to a classic, ancient Greek style temple. Inside the temple, there were three women dressed in black hooded robes sitting in circle in the middle. Their faces were covered by their hoods. The Goddess told me their names: Clotho, Atropos and Lachesis (aka the Moires or Furies in Greek mythology). I was standing there amazed by what I was beholding. Hecate told them: “show him”. They pointed at a box with a blue lid. Then, everything turned white for a while and I couldn’t see anything. I then saw the image of a phoenix for a split second and immediately after that I saw Hecate again on a pedestal. Around her I could see all sorts of nightside creatures such as vampires, witches, werewolves and others. They didn’t look at me in an intimidating way though; in fact they didn’t care much, like the people that are passing by you in the street every day. Some of them briefly looked at me and quickly turned their glance elsewhere, while others didn’t bother at all. Finally, as I looked at Hecate again, she told me that to walk her path, means to die and live again and that one has to be sure before deciding to take this route. Then she told me that it was time to go now and I should only return when I’m ready. That last part, I believe that it was a test of some sort, but time will tell.
The following day I kept thinking about the ritual and I kept seeing the name Hecate as well as the words “toad rite” as I was reading completely unrelated stuff, like the news etc. I guess that was because I kept thinking about it.
All in all it was a fantastic experience and I would encourage anyone interested to perform this ritual to go for it. Hecate herself appeared very mysterious, wise and serious, but I’m sure I only saw a glimpse of the Goddess and there are much more to discover in the future. I believe I’ll be working with her more closely in the future. This ritual showed me that I need more practice to improve my basic magickal skills and I want to do that before getting deeper into her current. I know that the post was quite large, but I hope you enjoyed it.