Born first in the black
My body was red. The heart above me pulsed quick.
Part of me never left that place.
And the demons at my shoulder have pushed me all the way here.
If not for my husband I don’t know if I would be alive right now. That night with the muddy truck, it could have been my last.
He pulled me from many dark places but he cannot take me from that darkness I’ve held since before birth.
I often drink a glass of wine and think of how far I have come. Will my children ever be able to understand my struggles and my decisions?
Childhood is such a fragile time, those with broken ones know this much sooner than others. I vow my children will never have to go through what I did
What’s interesting is that this started out as an attempt to strictly look at your energy. There are a few reasons I believe I could have gotten this instead, and one is your guides really don’t want people peering into your energy, and they redirected me to this (which could just be a stream of bullshit). All I got before that was You inside of a golden light
Just wanted to bump this, to let everyone know they have 12 hours left to submit entries. I also wanted to you remind you that you can each can enter up to three times.
I’ll mark this thread closed shortly after 7pm eastern tonight, then I’ll take each entry line by line, quote it with my responses and essentially give a point for correct items, half a point for partially correct items, and give each person a total number points, so that everyone gets feedback on how they did and can see how the winning participant was discerned
I’ll posting those between now and midnight (Eastern time, so within the next few hours). I have a few things to wrap up, as I had a major technology fail last night and had to factory reset my laptop, so I have to sort some things out so I can give the winner the right choices of servitors and things
I also want to type up a proposal for another game and see what ya’ll think about it, as it won’t be scanning/or necessarily magical entry. I’ve had the idea floating in my mind, and figure if I post it right after the results, I have higher odds of hearing what you guys think on that- so I can tweak it ahead of time, and about how I could have done this game better.
Alright, so the results are in! I’m going to do my best to give you guys line by line feedback, and hopefully you’ll let me know how I could have made this a more fun experience for you. I know that if I’d allowed entries via pms, a few others would have participated, but I couldn’t really come up with a way off the top of my head to ensure everyone felt that was fair. Especially if the winner had been from a pm, so sorry to all of those who felt left out by my choices here.
I do intend to do another game, so stayed tuned for details on that. I’m going to post my premise after the feedback here, so that you can guys can let me know what you think and help me tweak the ideas I have on it, well before it’s up and running.
I’ve not heard about moles being anything since I was a child. I do however have a large mole on the outside face of my right shoulder. 1pnt.
This is true, I am currently physically separated from someone I love. 1 pnt
I originally considered this one false, as I rarely have more than a single in real life friend, and average 2-3 online friends, either in gaming or whatever platform I am frequently most. Then I realized that I do not define friends the same as many people do today. I tend to consider most people acquaintances, and only those that are allowed to actually know me as friends.
There are never many that actually get the chance to know me, but I do manage to garner popularity in some of the things I do, such as gaming. For example the mmo I am currently playing, I have a friends list of about 50 people. I don’t ever seek these people out, but because I am gamer chick, and I’m not one of those women that plays to get attention, or who just sucks, I tend to find many followers. The boys tend to like that I learn the mechanics and the how to and can not only hold my own but can usually carry a party. So as such I’ve reconsidered and decided it’s not exactly wrong. .5 pnt.
I don’t know anyone currently that is tall and brown, or if I do, I don’t know them well enough to know this about them. As such I am marking this one as indiscernible. 0 points.
Pretty much never can tell lies. I don’t like to share things, but with those that I do, I prefer to be transparent. I have been slander in the past by my ex-husband, in the most ridiculous ways possible, and yet the unbelievable was believable to many. The fortunate thing has always been that I never cared. None of those people know me, or anything about me- other than possibly my name and face. - 1pnt.
undiscernible but good advice. 0 pnts.
This one is interesting, as it’s half true. It’s personally, so I’ll leave it to you guess which half is true, and which is not - .5 pnt
Once again this seems like good advice, but it’s currently indiscernibly if it truly apply, as I rarely share anything let alone secrets. 0 pnt.
This was rather hard for me to decided what to do with. It’s written in present tense, imply that my parents are around to feel this emotion for me. However my father past away over 15 years ago, my mother 8 and my stepmother over 7 years ago. As such, I can only comment that I know my daddy did love me very much, so I will give you half a point. -.5
Ah well, I’m not really sure how that is possible, as I’ve spoken briefly to two of the four siblings in the last year, but it was roughly seven months ago, and was also the first time in about 6 years. 0 pnt
Unfortunately I believe this one to be wrong. I currently have two children, and had tubal ligation after my second child 12 years ago. While I like to consider the possibility, it would require invitro or tubal ligation reversal. Large sums of money and I’m already 35 years old, so while I’d love to have another baby, I’m not even sure most days if I would want to go there, as my current children are teenagers and man it was a lot of work. 0pnt
Okay this is all very interesting, but the only part of it that I can honestly verify, is that most people have seen my form as blond, be it a current life scan, a past life scan, or a scan of my soul. I’m going to give you half a point for effort and partial accuracy, as I wish I could verify the rest of this, but unfortunately it’s new information, to me. -.5 pnt
I split this part of that very long run on sentence (I’m teasing you, I do it too) apart, because this I can verify. I would have personally probably worded it a little different, but that’s because I prefer not to talk about my works in these areas- I’d rather not let anyone know what I may or may not be capable of. -1 pnt
That’s possibly, but once again I can’t really verify it. I do know part of why I am difficult to scan, but it’s more why I am even more difficult to scan than I used to be. I have something with me, that is not from me, but that is here to protect me. He’s been known to chase things away from me and project false images to confuse and throw those who may be looking off track. 0 pnt.
I’m not 100% sure required is the correct word, but there is something in me that has led me to this work and it related to other life times and my purpose with this one, so I’m going to give you half a point. -.5
Hmm. I really don’t think this is the right wording again, but my trust is something that has to be earned. I tend to get very strong feelings about people, and know things I shouldn’t or even can’t about them, so I wouldn’t call it suspicious exactly. .5 pnt
This is sometimes true, but once again I’m not sure the wording is right. I’d prefer to say I come across as a cold hearted, blunt assed bitch. .5 pnt
This is true. -1 pnt.
I don’t like people to get to know me, would be a better way to say this. It’s not that I don’t want found out, or have so many secrets that need kept. It’s actually a self defense mechanism, as if I am not careful I will absorb the emotions, feelings and even at times thoughts of those around me. I’ve had enough trauma in life, without dealing with the burdens of the world. .5pnt
I’ve not had anyone else see it as a crocodile, but see the above- this is part of what makes me a little bit more difficult to scan :). 1 pnt.
I’m not really sure what to make of this one, it honestly kinda of confuses me, and I know it goes along (or you seemed to think it did) with the crocodile. Marking this as indiscernible. 0 pnt.
This is true, and my sense of good or bad, does not align with the worlds. We are all human after all. -1pnt
This is true, but it applies outside of magic as well. 1 pnt.
I keep hearing this, and I work with the Loa and often speak about that, and as I know at least one person didn’t comment on it, as they felt it was one of those things that wouldn’t be fair to add due to my own posts and replies, I am going to say true, but 0 pnts.
The first part of this is interesting, as some of the Loa I do work with have been called tricksters, but I’ve not experienced that with them. The second half is wrong, I don’t speak much about my work with demons, but I do frequently turn to them for easy jobs. 0 pnt
The next entrant is @Hidden_God, I’m going to combine their entries here to make this flow a little better and so that I don’t forget to tally it all together
I’m afraid that this one is indiscernible, it’s very interesting and could possibly be similar to a sketch I drew of Azazel when I was 15, but that was of him and not me -.5 pnt
I believe you are referring to one of my ancestor guides, something that I haven’t spoken about. 1 pnt
This has been seen by others, I’ve mentioned being significantly part native, and that the boyfriend is as well, but I don’t believe I’ve spoken about the other who has seen something similar to this, though I have mentioned my work with the native gods. -.5 pnt.
I know who these are 1 pnt
No, they have been blue in the past, but not in a few years. I don’t remember the last time I had wine, so sorry 0pnt
Well they aren’t my outside walls, but I know whose they are, and this person is pretty closely connected to me. .5pnt
I suppose. I did beg her to stay with me. 1pnt
There’s so many things this could apply to, that I’m afraid I can’t discern anything from it. 0pnt
No, not really. 0pnt
Okay this one is actually really good. I didn’t know who James Charles was and had to google it. Then I had to research a few things, because I immediately noticed he is not only a makeup artist, but he wears it- as a female would, and noticed he has an interesting sexual preferences as well.
My blood brother was born my sister, he is now fully male and transitioned- had an AddAdickOnToMe and everything. 1pnt
Ok, I am going to give you a point, as I did another member who saw what was protecting me, only in a different form. It’s been known to behave like that, so good job. -1 pnt.
I had to google this. I don’t work with Lovecraftian beings, but I have been known to have associations with spirits of the dead as I call them, ghost to other people, as well as shadow creatures. -1pnt
This sounds to me, like the appearance my protection gave you. It’s taken a different form for everyone whose managed to see it, but I’m going to give you a point, as I feel as if that was what this is. -1pnt
I don’t have this set up currently, but I did when I lived with my boyfriend. I spent a lot of time in that space- hours upon hours. 1pnt
Ah, you saw a servitor of mine, that also wards my space. It looks like a diamond, in my sketch on paper, though it was supposed to be a pyramid 1pnt
There is definitely a shadowy entity around me, however the above room didn’t have a hallwall, it was a single room home. My current space does have a hallway however, so I am not sure if the two sorta merged for you or what. I combined these two, because it made more sense for how I wanted to comment on it, but I am giving you a point for the entity and .5 a point for the hallway. -1.5pnts
You lost me on this one. I have visable trauma to my lower left arm, from an accident in which I broke it, but the shoulder was not affected in any way. I broke it 7 years ago. -0pnts
No, he’s 12 so he has all his teeth and braces, but there was a time when he was younger, that he managed to knock out literally all of his front teeth- totally 3. -.5 pnt
This is true, but I’ve mentioned living in an apartment all over this forum, so I am only going to give you half a point. Sorry. -.5pnt
Hmm, no I can’t say that I do. I grew up in Oklahoma, Where the wind comes sweeping down the plains, and while I once imagined returning, I don’t in anyway shape or form have that desire 15 years after I left. -0pnt
This is very true. -1pnt
Well, I don’t believe it’s my guides per say, but there is something I know doesn’t want me to be read. I understand why, because I know where it came from and that person worries that I am too trusting because they know me and my innate desire to help and heal. -.5pnt
Hmm. This is a tough one, but given how I learned my souls name, it’s very plausible. -.5 pnt
I’m not sure about this one. If I’d guessed, I would have thought water and fire. Those are the energies I am drawn to, I’m also Sagittarius, but then sometimes we are drawn to opposites. I’m afraid I can’t discern this one very well, my energy feels like my energy and I don’t really notice myself any particular element. -0pnt
I don’t know how the elements tell you this! But it’s true. -1pnt
Yes. Yes I do. -1pnt
Eh, It’s more like when everything is going wrong, when there’s no one that can help, when I have to figure it the fck out- I thrive. That’s real similar. -.5
Sighs. I so wouldn’t word it this way, but people remember me. It’s not always good, but often it’s unexplainable. For example, I have two male friends, that I have gone 5-6 years without seeing, or speaking to, that have popped up recently trying become something to me, that they just aren’t able to. I don’t get it entirely, but on some levels I do. Often people are drawn to me irl for no discernable reason. Sometimes it’s because I’m a sarcastic bitch and can joke like I am one of the boys. Others it’s because that one sentence, changed their life. Close enough for half a point, even if I can’t explain it in words that make sense. -.5pnt
No, I have to disagree with this one. I’ve never cared about my heritage and have many regrets about not somehow getting my family somewhere else. 0pnt
Interesting, possibly symbolic- yet I have no idea of what. Maybe I will someday, but right now unfortunately no matter how many times I read it, I can’t get anything out of it, without making huge leaps and stretches. -0 pnt
Well this one hits home. I spent many a night in Washington state, wondering if my children would understand why I had to leave them, to save myself. Wondering if they would ever forgive me for abandoning them, wonder if they would ever see how leaving them, was one of the greatest sacrifices I’ve ever made. I knew and know they saw most of the reasons why, I know they understand better than most adults, yet once in a while. I still wonder and worry. -1pnt
This sounds like something the boyfriend and I have discussed many times. Some of us didn’t get to have a true childhood, or a full one, due to the circumstance life put us in. The only thing I ever wanted once my kids were born, was to let them have the childhood I couldn’t have. In some ways I failed, they’ve seen my trauma, and suffered while I was away, and yet I know. In the deepest crevices of my heart, that their worst traumas in life to date, are nothing compared to what I went through as a child, and I sure as fck, intend to do what I can to help them, if they ever find themselves in adult situations like the ones I’ve been in. - 1 pnt
Wow I am sorry that took me so long to write up and hit the reply button. A few of these things brought up pretty intense memories and emotions. You all did a great job, and I’m really proud of the effort you guys put into this, especially those of you that weren’t really familiar with scanning and who didn’t feel like you knew what you were doing.
This was a lot of fun for me, so I hope that this feedback will help you go forward with confidence, as no one had all 0’s, and no one got everything right. I know it’s hard to step out of your comfort zone and try something new so, Kudos to all of you.
Congratulations @ErisKissedMeIntoFrog You are our winner, and I’ll pm you the choices of servitors here shortly. I need to grab a drink and step away from the computer for a few minutes
If you didn’t win today, don’t feel disheartened. I really enjoyed the game, and I hope you did too. I hope you guys will share with me how I could have conducted this game better, so that someday in the future we can play again. It won’t be for at least six months with this particular challenge, to make it fair as you have all learned a good deal about me from this. But I do have a proposal, for an upcoming game. Please take a gander at this, and chime in with any thoughts you have on it.
The Dating Game: The Most Romantic Date.
I’d like to host another game geared towards Valentines Day. The challenge will to be pm me, the short story of the most romantic date you, or someone you know has been on. I only want real experiences, not works of fiction or stolen from a book/movie the Internet etc.
The reason I am going to have the entrants pm me these entries, is that after the seven days I intend to share them all for a poll/vote- anonymously. I’ll even start with my most romantic date, to give an example- but obviously I can’t win my own servitor and won’t include it in the poll post. I’ll copy each experience, use page breaks and label them something like: Entry 1, Entry 2 etc. By sharing them for vote anonymously means that we won’t be able to vote based on who like best on the forum, and that we can truly vote on the most romantic date.
I’m thinking of opening the thread on 1/17/21, and allowing 7 days for entries. Then opening the poll thread for another 7 days, which means the winner will be announced on 1/24/20 giving the winning participant a full two weeks with their prize prior to Valentine’s day. Each forum member will only be allowed to vote once, and of course the entrants can vote for themselves- no one will know. When I announce the winner, I will share which story (though it will be obvious from the poll) and whose story it was.
This time instead of giving the participants a choice of my pre-made servitors, I am going to create one specifically for this game, unless of course I somehow still have the current servitor that suits this theme in my custody at the start of the contest.
The servitor will be programmed to aid in all aspects of love magic, as well increasing intimacy and romance between new and existing partners in a relationship.
How can I tweak this to make it more fun? I think allowing the anonymous entries and posting them all myself will keep it more fair, as the most popular person won’t win by default and will encourage more forum members to participate and play the game with the community. What are your thoughts?
I also thought maybe after, I’d do one for St. Patricks day- A luck and money geared servitor and then probably not another until Halloween, and it would be a witch’s familiar type servitor.
Wow I am honestly completely surprised I won this. I approached this as more of a divination than a scan since in a way I felt we had to prove the legitimacy of our abilities (vagueness was not going to help). Divination has always been a weak point of mine I felt, so I am a astonished. I knew I felt drawn to this though.
For the beginners out their, I was certain most all I wrote would be false, and if I can do this certainly anyone can!
I spent a lot of time pondering it last night. I had some computer issues and sat in front the damned thing waiting on system recoveries, system resets and a factory reset for hours. I started out thinking about how low participation was on this one, but that I like the fun things, and servitors are my passion so what else could I do that would be more fun and get more members involved? Especially since a second scanning challenge wouldn’t work, at least not in the short term.
Then I realized well. A themed game would probably make more sense, especially if I made it around some of the popular yet non political holidays like Valentines day, and if I made it a set prize, instead of you get to choose but have no idea what, that would help people know if they wanted in or not.
I didn’t reveal which servitors I had though, cuz I figured if I listed all 7 out, I’d end up with a bunch of please give me one too pms, or can I please have this one etc…
I like to have fun and share my work, but I can give one to everyone ya know.
Too late for me! The things that I got during my scanning intent was connecting with a weird alien civilization, technology and stuff within the range of Sci-fiction.
I don’t if it does resonate but wow, nice to witness that!
First off, thanks for the feedback. Second, I think a Valentine’s themed poll would do well for enhancement and also letting people know what servitor is to be won would help as well. I think the point system worked well in measuring the amount of accurate details and it seems like the only real way to pick a winner with this type of challenge. I’d say this challenge was successful even though it didn’t bring the amount of engagement that you had hoped for because it got some newer practitioners to test out their abilities and to also learn a little
I just realized that as non of you have entered the Valentine’s contest, I should have linked it here too, so that I knew you guys saw it and didn’t miss it. It seems like one or two of you were interested so here ya go, I apologize for not thinking about that.