At least he should leave me to my meditations until he cools down, if that ever happens. He started to center himself to meditate again when a devilishly mad idea came to him.
Plan for developing a new system of magick that is covert, Sneaky, less obvious, unobtrusive. I have seen people ask about ways of using magick when they live in a house that doesn’t embrace the use of magick. I myself live in such a situation.
I have for a long time been resentful of the people I care about for being what I have previously thought to be a hindrance to my ability to practice magick. I have been recently enlightened to the actual problem, my lack of trying to work around the the situation. I was my problem. I was using my family as an excuse to not be what I wanted to be.
This created a very unhealthy desire to get rid of my family. Fortunately for me I had became so lazy that I was not able to make any headway in that situation. I had gotten desperate for any solution to what I perceived to be my problem.
I looked for answers anywhere I could. I finally decided to give mother Lilith a try. I contacted her in attempt to ask her to send me a new love. I saw this as a way to end my marriage and be rid of my family.
I had been seeing signs of her around me for a long time. I just hadn’t ever had the desire to contact her partially because I really don’t like spiders and she likes to send them to me.
I found a guided meditation for Lilith
Upon contacting her I was quite surprised by what she said. She was very angry with me about how I was trying to get rid of my wife. She told me that she was the one who brought my wife into my life. She told me that she was not going to help me because I was being ungrateful of her gift to me. She then reminds me of the desperate prayers of myself as a teenager to any spirit that would listen to bring love to me.
I respectfully apologized to her for my transgressions. I then asked her to teach me to change. To show me how I can bring magick into my life without losing my wife and kids. She has planted the seeds of a new way to preform magick.
I have begun to study what ritual is and how it works. I wanted to know if there really is a way other than mental, astral, or dream magick. I wanted physical ritual in my life.
As I get more of my new system fleshed out I plan to share it in a new thread. I am very excited about see the results as I forge forward in my new magickal system. I will outline the system and a journal of my progress.