never feel guilty. It’s not nobody’s business that you are learning or practicing the occult. It’s like winning lottery. you don’t want to tell everyone. Then they will come trying to mess with you just cuz you have something good.
I guess I am just feeling a bit lonely. I don’t have anyone to share this important part of my life with. It kinda makes me feel like I’m golem polishing my precious spirituality. I do not like that this is my only place to share. Secrecy is a heavy burden sometimes.
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I understand how you feel. I dont hide what I do but I don’t go around talking about it either. No one here does magick and they would just tell me I need church.
A few co workers know a little about what I do and my kids know. But thats about it.
I’m really at the point that I don’t care who knows though. I’m not gonna hide who I am forever.
But I totally understand where you are.
I feel lonely alot too.
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Today I am feeling a bit overwhelmed by people in general. This time of year always brings out my irritable side. Seems everyone gets on my nerves. Probably because I don’t care for these holidays and most people don’t seem to understand that.
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Today I reflect on the words of Andy Dufresne.
“Get busy living or get busy dieing.”
I’m tired of making excuses or blaming everyone and everything but myself for my life not being what I want. I am the only reason I am here and living this way. The only way things will change is if I become the change I want.
I am no longer aloud to throw pity parties for myself. If I can’t change myself to get where I want to be then I am better off not having this life anymore.
I chose this life . It is mine to do with as I please. It is unsettling how much I have done to screw it up.
It is time to get busy living or get busy dieing.
If anyone is interested in self reflection be prepared to see everything even what you don’t want to see.
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Today is holy shit i have a lot of fucking pets.
Dogs: 3
Snakes: 1
Rats: 16
Opossums: 4
For those who don’t like math that’s 24 animals. That doesn’t count the many temporary strays that seem to always find me when they need help.
This shouldn’t surprise me I do like animals better than most people.
For lunch today it’s filled tortilla.
Cheddar, mozzarella, gouda, bacon, harissa, cumin, red pepper flakes.
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What kind of snake?
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I have 2 geckos , 1 ball python, 1 beta fish and 1 dog and few stray kitties that I feed.
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Ball python
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Today is vehicle re-repair day. I changed the brakes on it and something went horribly wrong. Now I must attempt to fix the fuck up.
I do not enjoy working on vehicles but I have been blessed with the mechanical aptitude to be able to. Which is a good thing because I can barely afford to purchase parts for it let alone take it to a shop for repairs.
Growing up in poverty has taught me to learn how to do for myself what I cannot afford to pay someone else to do.
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I can relate to this, had to learn how to do repairs on a furnace fairly quickly for the same reason. Got to do what you have to
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After several trips back and forth to the auto parts store I think I am finally on the right track to getting it fixed.
Now to figure out how to pay off the newly maxed out credit card.
Dreading the new years eve party tonight. I don’t enjoy spending time with my family. Not feeling very social today.
My plans to move far away from them are taking way longer than I expected.
Mind not able to focus today. Thoughts very scattered.
No me gusta hugar el baloncesto
At least your not all alone.
That’s my usual now. Me all alone.
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time to visit with the family. Today is the family Christmas party.
I really don’t like Christmas and I really don’t like my family.
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I hate christmas parties too
I can imagine the torture
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I survived the party!
I got up this morning went for a jog with my kids. I preformed my rituals for the day. Now to crawl back into bed with my wife for a couple of hours until it is a descent time to get up.
Today ends the group workings 
It was an excellent experience.
I highly recommend it.
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