I know it will sound freaky,
But I think ‘insult’ has the power…
I feel nervous in front of attractive girl
I working on this problem for a long time
Shadow works etc…
But at some point,
My subconsciousness told me while I do meditation that
‘You should insult her in your head’.
I thought it’s foolish and It’s unreliable but anyway I tried.
But it worked. Lol…
Even they feel comfortable in front of me.
I know arrogant behavior can trigger woman (evolutionary psychology etc, archetypes etc)
But I want to understand this freaky information from my subconsciousness…
Pedestals are not very comfortable things to stand on, if you know what I mean… I can see why being approached by someone who’s not got all that “women are special” baggage would actually make it easier to feel safe.
It’s simple you know than that person means the same as any other cause if she goes away another replaces her. Again always in your Imagination insult your bosses and see them how they poop and insult them as ugly as it can be. After doing that the feelings are of happyness, ease, fun. Being cool it’s awesome!
Yeah, it’s definitely works like an quick fix for me…
What I was looking for a long time is ‘constructive quick fix’ not ‘destructive quick fix’
So I am slightly embarrassed
I am worrying that it may cause harm in a long period…
What the hell is programmed in my subconsciousness… whats going on…
What I am curious is that is it only for me or
Its common human collective unconsciousness…?
This is a common subset of hex, it’s also essentially a mal de ojo (evil eye, happens when someone is extremely envied or has a lot of attention in them, when you make a distorted face in someone’s direction, or when you insult and think bad thoughts about someone strongly among many other things)
As a means if pacifism I can see it as breaking down the barrier of the person mentally
Usually when someone is arrogant or insulting in front of me - kinda repels… Might be good if you want to assert dominance/or some sort of passive aggressive behavior, but if your trying to attract someone … Might be off-putting.
Hex usually means like a small curse if that makes sense. The word curse usually means to cause great harm to someone, a hex is usually an inconvenience. But don’t worry about that too much, you can use them to mean the same thing sometimes.
They usually do cause negative effects, but I think it has caused a positive effect because you broke something like a barrier made of their ego.
But If i reflect this taught to my experiences,
Girls are attracted when I was showing arrogant & dominant manner, (dark)
Not positive & bright & confident vibes. (light)
That why I made this post…
My logical mind and experiences doesn’t match LOL.
I think maybe a balance is important. I definitely agree with the dominance being attractive. However more in the forms of assertiveness, and confidence. So you really gotta balance that out. Between light and dark, as you have put.
Thats what I was going to comment aswell.
Ive been in a similar situation where I, for a short time, adopted the mindset of “I can have any girl” (which ofc wasnt true but having that mindset helped me talk way more easily to girls than I couldve ever imagined). When you @PhotonsFetish say that youre worried about long term problems I was also thinking about how that mindset had caused problems for me.
In order to explain what happened I should probably start off with my baseline before having adopted that mindset, which was basically “girls so great, if I could even have a gf that would be too good to be true”. So yea, pedestal and all that. In this mindset I just couldnt talk to girls. I simply couldnt. Afterall I didnt deserve them anyway right? However there were some positives in this mindset: I absolutely adored girls. Like for real.
Now when my mindset flipped, the positive aspect that the ‘putting them on a pedestal’ mindset had also switched. Which is to say that I found the worth of girls to be deteriorating by the second. Exchanging the first few words was still fine but as soon as I was under the impression that I “had them” I lost complete interest and actually tried to leave the situation.
This experience might happen to you aswell, or it might not or it might in a different degree.
I guess what Im getting at is that being only on one extreme end of the spectrum isnt all that great. For me it was either adoring girls without end but not being able to talk to them, or being suprisingly able to talk to them but losing interest insanely quickly.
From that point on onward I tried to develop a more balanced approach and Id like to share a few more words on “balanced” aswell.
Imo balanced doesnt have to be the middle ground, imo you can be balanced but also extreme. What does that mean? Well, it could mean that sometimes one is extremely confident in themselves (for example when talking about a topic one is very well versed in) but at other times one is completely enamoured by the feminine, drooling over every word they say, over every action they do.
Thats my 20 cents. Im quite certain that there is still a good road ahead of me in this regard but at the same time Ive also learned quite some stuff in that regard already. All things considered I would say roll with your current mindset, see where it takes you and if you notice side-effects try to balance it out with the non-insulting approach you had before, thus finding your own balance.
It’s under the frame context. your mindset changes depending on frame of mind. Before, you put her on a pedestal so you fear her and have inferior complex. When you insult her, you no longer put her as important so it don’t affect your actions/feelings. It puts you on more superior status or equal. People act different with different status. simple concepts really.
