THE POWER and the MADNESS in the mania... just BLEW my 24 inch guns out, BROTHER

Can I ask what they were? :hugs::thinking:


I’m doing well thanks!

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I don’t remember all of them. I followed along with a video, which I would share but it’s only available through patreon. They were just basic affirmations though, you can find a lot of videos on youtube.

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I had a dream that I went to a wedding and proceeded to steal a bunch of single shot servings of Crown Royal for Asmodeus.

Message received, lol.

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Ooh! How is it working with him? I wanted to work with him on controlling my lust but was worried he’d be turned off(puns!) By my sexuality :sweat_smile:

He is not going to be turned off by your sexuality. If anything, He would work with you to embrace it and use it for your advantage.

I worked with Him on a private matter. Basically, I wanted something and called for Him. He helped me gain control over the situation by working on my confidence so that I could be the dominant person I know myself to truly be. I ended up not caring about this thing I wanted anymore, because I was now too good for it.

He will help you get to the root cause of why you are tormented by your own lust. I believe it’s all about taking that energy and using it to transform yourself into a stronger and more confident you.

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Can I pm you? :hugs: id like to discuss this by i don’t want to keep derailing your journal​:sweat_smile:

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Absolutely. Thanks for asking first, I appreciate the respect for boundaries.

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I’ve made the mistake of not asking before and while noone every for offended i did feel somewhat bad about not asking permission🤗

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I understand. I tend to be excitable and impulsive, so I get it.

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I had a great day today.

I did a 90 minute yoga session which was very challenging, but also relaxing, as there were a lot of long stretches and a nice meditation at the end before I sunk into shavasana. I stated my intention in the beginning, which was to become more in tune with my spiritual sight.

I am getting better at pulling myself back from negative thoughts and centering myself. There were plenty of times I could have gotten seriously pissed off today, but I would remind myself to be the objective observer instead, and I remained calm.

It was an extremely busy day at work and I thrived. I got a free crab cake, which is expensive as fuck so I was happy. It’s like $15 for one single crab cake, so it was definitely a treat. That shit was so good.

All the chefs said, “If only everyone else here worked half as hard as you do” and I felt really good about that. The chefs don’t like anybody, so I value their compliments above anyone else.

I got home to everyone at home singing karaoke, so I jammed with them for the last few hours. I’m in bed now, and my dream elixir has kicked in. I can’t wait to relax into a deep sleep.

It was the perfect day.

My new stuff from Anima Mundi should be here in Saturday. I’m excited!

Tomorrow we’re going to the mall to get my brother in law a birthday present. I love shopping lol so woohoo

Goodnight everyone

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After the work you’ve been putting in you deserved a day like it so I’m glad :smiley:

Can I ask What you’ve done to achieve this? I don’t struggle but negative thoughts too often but it’s always good to learn new things For The Times when I am struggling!

It seems like this really helped, is there anything else or is this the main Technique you use?

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Its been an every day effort since I started on this particular path. I do a lot of shadow work and I meditate every single day.

Brian Scott on youtube has a lot of guided meditations that have helped me a lot, in particular this meditation:

Learning how to separate myself from my thoughts has been the key to understanding and controlling my emotions. I may have an anxious thought, but I am not that thought. That thought does not represent me.

I also learn this when I am meditating and give myself a single thing to focus my attention on. The most powerful and important part of that kind of meditation is not being able to remain focused the whole time – it’s when you notice you have become distracted, accept and allow the thoughts to pass, then bring your attention back to your original mantra or object of focus.

You can apply this to your every day life. Every time you get an negative thought, accept this thought, know this thought does not represent you, and allow it to pass.

It’s not an easy thing to do, and I still struggle with it, but I am noticing a lot of progress.

I also started getting into Neville Goddard. Brian Scott (the guy who made that guided meditation I just shared) breaks down his lectures in an easily digestible way.

Guided meditations are the best. Brian Scott’s are my favorite that I have found. It is the best way to get into the habit of meditating every day imo


Huh I’m gonna look into him! Also Neville Goddard being digestible is a godsend lol

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Today I got all of my stuff from Anima Mundi! Their products are so high quality and effective. I highly recommend their shit.

I just prepared some mulungu tea. It tastes like burned pasta water mixed with black pepper and sand. Not the most pleasant thing in the world, but when you’ve drank calea zacatechichi tea, literally nothing else ever tastes that bad anymore.

I can say that I’m getting pretty sleepy, but I did have a very long day.

I did a 100 minute super strong yoga session. It was so intense and I felt amazing about myself after completing it.

I analyzed my guilt during shavasana. As with anyone who has been addicted to drugs/alcohol, I’ve done questionable things. I’m working on releasing the guilt that I still have, which starts with me acknowledging these things and knowing that they don’t represent who I am or make me less deserving of love or happiness.

I got to dress up and go out to eat today. I had a lot of fun! I ate so much fondue that I think I may die.

I pushed myself very hard today and then went straight into some acceptance and healing. I’d say the day was a success.

I hope everyone is well


I just awoke from the best sleep I’ve ever had in my life. Mulungu is my new God.

I had a dream about my older brother. He is extremely sensitive and deals with severe anxiety, so he hasn’t had a job and has no friends. I worry about him constantly because he is in another state living with my dad, and I can feel his unhappiness in my chest daily. I long to have the money to take care of him forever. I would happily bring him into my home to stay.

I remember when we were in middle school. He didn’t have as bad of anxiety because he had friends and liked to leave the house and do things. I believe he always had these problems, but he had a better environment before.

One day he ran away and has not been the same person ever since.

I had a dream that I showed him a book on Satanism and it made him go crazy. I felt awful because I was like, “He came back to normal and now he is doing bad again and it’s all my fault”

I was sad in my dream because I missed our old house and I missed my grandma, who is dead now.

I looked at my hands and my fingernails were rotting off. There was a rotting hole on my lip. I was depressed because I felt I was going to die.

I’m not really good at dream interpretation so I’ll just leave this here to think about. I haven’t written down my dreams these last few days and I need to make it a solid habit.


It sounds like you’re worried that if you bring him into your house/help him with magick the energies might be too much?

Take this with a holistic approach but this is what came up regarding rotting in dreams after a quick Google search

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I’ll say this as an outsider to the situation and history. You are a role model to me and q good friend so I think if anything your mistakes in the past have made you who you are and I think that the person you are is pretty freaking awesome❤

I love those earrings! You look good :+1:

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Thanks for the help.

I think that it more has to do with feeling like I’m responsible for his current mental state and situation, and that if I had started reaching my goals sooner in life, I would already have the means to take care of him.

It was also related to the fact that my brother went into psychosis after getting obsessed with The Satanic Bible and that is why he ran away. It triggered something and he hasn’t been the same since, so I don’t think it’s about my personal spirituality.

My grandma was also the one who was always there for my brother and he was really fucked up about her death.

I think I just long for when things were more carefree, and I would play video games with my brothers and we were happier.

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I didn’t even see this. Thank you so much :sparkling_heart:

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Yw don’t forget it either :wink: you are awesome and deserve the best and those thoughts that say otherwise can get a good close look at a shoe kicking them out :hugs:

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