I had a dream that I went to a wedding and proceeded to steal a bunch of single shot servings of Crown Royal for Asmodeus.
Message received, lol.
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Ooh! How is it working with him? I wanted to work with him on controlling my lust but was worried he’d be turned off(puns!) By my sexuality 
He is not going to be turned off by your sexuality. If anything, He would work with you to embrace it and use it for your advantage.
I worked with Him on a private matter. Basically, I wanted something and called for Him. He helped me gain control over the situation by working on my confidence so that I could be the dominant person I know myself to truly be. I ended up not caring about this thing I wanted anymore, because I was now too good for it.
He will help you get to the root cause of why you are tormented by your own lust. I believe it’s all about taking that energy and using it to transform yourself into a stronger and more confident you.
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Can I pm you? 
id like to discuss this by i don’t want to keep derailing your journal:sweat_smile:
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Absolutely. Thanks for asking first, I appreciate the respect for boundaries.
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I’ve made the mistake of not asking before and while noone every for offended i did feel somewhat bad about not asking permission🤗
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I understand. I tend to be excitable and impulsive, so I get it.
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I had a great day today.
I did a 90 minute yoga session which was very challenging, but also relaxing, as there were a lot of long stretches and a nice meditation at the end before I sunk into shavasana. I stated my intention in the beginning, which was to become more in tune with my spiritual sight.
I am getting better at pulling myself back from negative thoughts and centering myself. There were plenty of times I could have gotten seriously pissed off today, but I would remind myself to be the objective observer instead, and I remained calm.
It was an extremely busy day at work and I thrived. I got a free crab cake, which is expensive as fuck so I was happy. It’s like $15 for one single crab cake, so it was definitely a treat. That shit was so good.
All the chefs said, “If only everyone else here worked half as hard as you do” and I felt really good about that. The chefs don’t like anybody, so I value their compliments above anyone else.
I got home to everyone at home singing karaoke, so I jammed with them for the last few hours. I’m in bed now, and my dream elixir has kicked in. I can’t wait to relax into a deep sleep.
It was the perfect day.
My new stuff from Anima Mundi should be here in Saturday. I’m excited!
Tomorrow we’re going to the mall to get my brother in law a birthday present. I love shopping lol so woohoo
Goodnight everyone
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After the work you’ve been putting in you deserved a day like it so I’m glad 
Can I ask What you’ve done to achieve this? I don’t struggle but negative thoughts too often but it’s always good to learn new things For The Times when I am struggling!
It seems like this really helped, is there anything else or is this the main Technique you use?
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Its been an every day effort since I started on this particular path. I do a lot of shadow work and I meditate every single day.
Brian Scott on youtube has a lot of guided meditations that have helped me a lot, in particular this meditation:
Learning how to separate myself from my thoughts has been the key to understanding and controlling my emotions. I may have an anxious thought, but I am not that thought. That thought does not represent me.
I also learn this when I am meditating and give myself a single thing to focus my attention on. The most powerful and important part of that kind of meditation is not being able to remain focused the whole time – it’s when you notice you have become distracted, accept and allow the thoughts to pass, then bring your attention back to your original mantra or object of focus.
You can apply this to your every day life. Every time you get an negative thought, accept this thought, know this thought does not represent you, and allow it to pass.
It’s not an easy thing to do, and I still struggle with it, but I am noticing a lot of progress.
I also started getting into Neville Goddard. Brian Scott (the guy who made that guided meditation I just shared) breaks down his lectures in an easily digestible way.
Guided meditations are the best. Brian Scott’s are my favorite that I have found. It is the best way to get into the habit of meditating every day imo
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Huh I’m gonna look into him! Also Neville Goddard being digestible is a godsend lol
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Today I got all of my stuff from Anima Mundi! Their products are so high quality and effective. I highly recommend their shit.
I just prepared some mulungu tea. It tastes like burned pasta water mixed with black pepper and sand. Not the most pleasant thing in the world, but when you’ve drank calea zacatechichi tea, literally nothing else ever tastes that bad anymore.
I can say that I’m getting pretty sleepy, but I did have a very long day.
I did a 100 minute super strong yoga session. It was so intense and I felt amazing about myself after completing it.
I analyzed my guilt during shavasana. As with anyone who has been addicted to drugs/alcohol, I’ve done questionable things. I’m working on releasing the guilt that I still have, which starts with me acknowledging these things and knowing that they don’t represent who I am or make me less deserving of love or happiness.
I got to dress up and go out to eat today. I had a lot of fun! I ate so much fondue that I think I may die.
I pushed myself very hard today and then went straight into some acceptance and healing. I’d say the day was a success.
I hope everyone is well
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I just awoke from the best sleep I’ve ever had in my life. Mulungu is my new God.
I had a dream about my older brother. He is extremely sensitive and deals with severe anxiety, so he hasn’t had a job and has no friends. I worry about him constantly because he is in another state living with my dad, and I can feel his unhappiness in my chest daily. I long to have the money to take care of him forever. I would happily bring him into my home to stay.
I remember when we were in middle school. He didn’t have as bad of anxiety because he had friends and liked to leave the house and do things. I believe he always had these problems, but he had a better environment before.
One day he ran away and has not been the same person ever since.
I had a dream that I showed him a book on Satanism and it made him go crazy. I felt awful because I was like, “He came back to normal and now he is doing bad again and it’s all my fault”
I was sad in my dream because I missed our old house and I missed my grandma, who is dead now.
I looked at my hands and my fingernails were rotting off. There was a rotting hole on my lip. I was depressed because I felt I was going to die.
I’m not really good at dream interpretation so I’ll just leave this here to think about. I haven’t written down my dreams these last few days and I need to make it a solid habit.
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It sounds like you’re worried that if you bring him into your house/help him with magick the energies might be too much?
Take this with a holistic approach but this is what came up regarding rotting in dreams after a quick Google search
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I’ll say this as an outsider to the situation and history. You are a role model to me and q good friend so I think if anything your mistakes in the past have made you who you are and I think that the person you are is pretty freaking awesome❤
I love those earrings! You look good 
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Thanks for the help.
I think that it more has to do with feeling like I’m responsible for his current mental state and situation, and that if I had started reaching my goals sooner in life, I would already have the means to take care of him.
It was also related to the fact that my brother went into psychosis after getting obsessed with The Satanic Bible and that is why he ran away. It triggered something and he hasn’t been the same since, so I don’t think it’s about my personal spirituality.
My grandma was also the one who was always there for my brother and he was really fucked up about her death.
I think I just long for when things were more carefree, and I would play video games with my brothers and we were happier.
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I didn’t even see this. Thank you so much 
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Yw don’t forget it either 
you are awesome and deserve the best and those thoughts that say otherwise can get a good close look at a shoe kicking them out 
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Weird dreams, all work-centred like usual. I’m either doing something wrong at work, I show up without my work clothes on, or I’m exposed in some way – either I am naked, half clothed, or people keep walking into the bathroom when I’m trying to pee.
My boss and I were peeing in the same bathroom and he asked me if I was okay, and if my mental state was any better.
I also couldn’t stack plates and I was getting pissed off because I knew I fucking could, but the plate kept calling out of my hand, like my fingers weren’t working properly. I think I discovered a new “this is a dream” clue – if my fingers don’t seem to work correctly. When I looked at them, they were defying bone structure and shit.
Kinda like how you can never really run correctly in a dream.
Then I was home. There was a storm that made the sky dark all day every day, so we paid to have a “fake sky” which perfectly plastered itself against the real sky and made it look bright.
We were all staying in bed together as a family.
Mulungu dreams, man. Mixed with the lucid dreaming elixir, they have gotten weirder, but more vivid, so I can remember more.
I gotta look into some books on lucid dreaming so that I can do more to get into that state.
I keep seeing multiples of the numbers 1, 3, and 5. So 11:11, 3:33, 5:55 (and in more ways than just the time on the clock).
My dreams have been featuring Satanism a lot, and as always, are filled with sex in some way, whether I am watching it, planning it, doing it, etc.
Work has been a pain in the fucking ass.
I’ve been getting frustrated and I am not putting a lot of focus into what I’m doing, nor am I putting much care into it. We are completely out of our best selling food item, which means I am making way less money. At least $100 dollars less, to be exact.
I’m thinking of getting a second job, at least temporarily to save up money. I can always quit, so I shouldn’t be afraid to take the leap. There is a gelato shop at the mall that is hiring, so I may do that.
I just need enough money to get started on my yoga certification process. Once I do that and start teaching, I can make a lot more money to buy the other classes I’d like to integrate into my career.
I’m done trying to find reasons why I am fed up with work. The fun part of learning something new and pushing past my fears is over, and all that is left is the BS one deals with in a restaurant setting.
It’s 100 degrees in the kitchen where I work, the customers are assholes, and most of the employees are draining and miserable. It’s hard to remain positive when the running joke everyone can relate to is wanting to kill themselves because they hate their job and want to go home.
I’m grateful to have a job, though. I am not going to become too distanced from how shitty I felt to be unemployed. I need to hold on tightly to that feeling because it helps me out when I am really truly fed up at work.
But this won’t be a “woe is me” journal entry. I’m glad I have a job. I’m working on remaining positive and carefree despite being completely surrounded by a draining energy and environment.
I am going to be realistic, though, and stop trying to somehow blame myself for feeling this exhausted. It’s normal. Most work environments are not healthy. It’s not my fault, and I’m doing my best.
My dreams are always work related, though, and I don’t completely relax into my days off because I’m stuck ruminating about it. I’m working on it. I’ll figure it out.
It’s a process.
Acknowledging all of these thoughts and feelings while working to change my outlook is the part that matters and shows growth. I used to blindly accept everything that went through my mind without trying to be better, so I have come a long way.
I need to do my laundry, organize the room, do a smudging and meditate. A cleansing bath as well.
I’ll be back later probably
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I don’t have too much to say other than I think you’re doing great.
I will say that everything can be a lesson if you let it so while I agree with your approach and think you should look elsewhere if possible I think It would be a good idea for you to examine what the job has taught you and what you might still be able to learn before leaving. That being said I do not have the full picture and you are the only person who can make that decision I am just giving you a possible different perspective