THE POWER and the MADNESS in the mania... just BLEW my 24 inch guns out, BROTHER

Spell work is great, something small, do a binding spell to bind your friends demanding nature.

King Paimon, is an awesome entity.

Try Vassago, he help with divination (tarot reading) and helps magicians with their magic.

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Good idea! I will look into binding spells and post about it here. I will also do some reading on Vassago. I appreciate your help immensely.

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I don’t remember if I posted about it, but I did a petition spell to get a job paying over minimum wage within two weeks. I haven’t been obsessing about it, and I’m going to continue job hunting as normal to stay proactive about it and leave it up to Belial (who I petitioned it to) to work behind the scenes. I’ve got faith that it will work out.

Also thinking that I’ll do a spell to quit smoking cigarettes. It’s just too expensive at this point, and Im tired of having an unhealthy addiction.

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Tonight I am serene and radiating a warm glow.

I did not feel well today, and towards the end of the night, I became teary eyed and anxiety ridden. Very, very sensitive.

I ran a hot bath with salt, rosemary, and amethyst, then dimmed the lights and lit a white candle. I listened to the amethyst frequency sounds on Satanias youtube channel, and meditated.

I visualized the bath water was glowing with a white energy that swirled around and within me, that each breath in brought in cleansing and positive energy, and each breath out released any negativity.

I saw a golden light wrap around me like a shield that both repelled negativity and sucked in positivity and healing.

King Paimon came to mind and I was swept away in the most intense feeling of love and power which felt like a hug wrapped around my soul and my body was in a kind of ecstacy that I’ve only felt before when I had had a reiki healing session. It was immense, and not sexual in any way might I add, this was a totally different sense of euphoria. It was a feeling of total understanding. A nudge in the back of my mind was that I must heal in order to grow into the goddess I am, and I must take my time to do this.

I feel very good. I put rosemary in my pillow case and have King Paimon’s sigil in there as well. I will have the comfiest dreams.

I poured myself a glass of passion fruit juice and filled a bowl with fresh blueberries, blackberries, strawberries, raspberries, and pineapple. This feels healthy and nourishing for me and I’m happy to eat this, and grateful that I am in a place where these things are accessible to me.

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I woke up at 7:40 AM feeling well rested and happy.

I had some dreams about King Paimon, something about Him asking me for a lot of blood from different people. Not too sure what that was about, because He doesn’t even really seem interested in even my blood when working with Him, so perhaps it is some kind of hidden message or just a weird element to my dream produced by my own mind. Unsure.

I’m getting the ring my boyfriend bought me in the mail today. It’s the Disney Treasures Winnie the Pooh citrine and black diamond ring and I can’t wait to get it. For us it’s special because “our game” is Kingdom Hearts and it’s a nudge to when you go to Winnie the Pooh’s world and help him out. Forget what it’s called. Something woods. So it’s very special to me and I can’t wait to have a ring to symbolize our love. Neither of us believe in marriage, but we like the symbolism of a ring. I’m so excited!!!

Today I’m going to research more on spells and write down some rituals in my journal for future reference so I don’t have to scout the internet every time I need to do something.

I want to buy Demons of Magick because everyone here mentions it and it’s been a while since I’ve bought a new book. I’m not sure what other books I’ll get, but I know Michael Ford is on my list. At some point I’ll have enough money to spend on EA’s books.

Today feels like an isolation and self care day. I’m going to clean my room/do laundry and then do the a cleanse and the Banishing Rite of the Dark Lord, and I feel the urge to invoke Asmodeus. I worked with his Aeshma aspect when I was in a really bad place mentally and he helped me get back on my feet and get back in touch with the warrior within.

I remember sitting and researching stuff and I suddenly said AESHA out loud. I scoured the internet trying to see who that was, and then he spoke through me, to correct me, AESHMA. I looked him up and was amazed that he was exactly who I needed to connect with.

I’ve never had an experience like that before or even to this day where another entity introduced themselves to me by making me say their name out loud all of a sudden, and I’d never heard of Aeshma before because I was a new practitioner.

He helped me a lot.

When I ever have doubts about the reality of all of what I do, I think back to that moment and become certain in all this once again. It’s just one of those incredible moments that confirm everything I do is legitimate.

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Not feeling very motivated, but I realize that if I were to sit and wait around for motivation to come, I’d actually never get anything fucking done. I just have to get up and fucking do it, perhaps the motivation will come later, perhaps not. It’s either do or don’t, and today I choose to Do.

It’s easy to get caught up in the victim mentality when you experience depression, because it’s safer and easier to fall back on “I have a chemical imbalance” than to get up and do the work, but that’s what made me dig a hole so fucking deep that I almost didn’t make it out, and I refuse to let that shit drag me back down.

  1. Shower
  2. Do laundry/clean room
  3. EXERCISE using this method
  1. Banishing Rite of the Dark Lord
  2. Meditate
  3. Nourish my mind and body with a healthy smoothie I’ll make with fresh fruit, kale, chia seeds, coconut oil, etc. (I read lady eva speak about consuming coconut oil and its benefits)
  4. I guess take another shower because I’ll be sweaty lol

I’ll try to go on a walk and connect with nature and perhaps swim in the pool

Today I’m doing shit motherfucker no more sitting around

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I ran around the neighborhood and sprinted when I got tired. I forgot how much I love running, and pushing through the pain like that makes me feel like I am on top of the world.

I made a juice of ginger, tumeric, lemon, one grapefruit, and one green apple.

I’ve been so caught up in trying to be happy that I began to lose touch with the darkness within. Somehow I got caught up in the concept of ‘balance’ which, for some reason, ended up with me ditching any anger or negativity and turning the other cheek and getting stomped on by other people. Is that balance? What the hell is that? Sounds more like giving in.

I suppose the pain just got too real and I needed to be on the complete other side and it was a good experience but it’s time to start getting fucking angry again.

I dulled all my feelings and let go of passion.

I’m bringing it back and I’m letting passion back in and it FEEEEEELS GOOOOOOD. I’m not afraid to feel and I’m not afraid of myself.

On my run there was a dead animal in the road and I’m not sure if it was I was influenced by Aeshma as I was giving my pain as an offering to Him, but the rotting smelled really good to me and I couldn’t help but take in deep Inhales of the sickly sweet smell. That’s a new one!

Today I feel like LEE IS BACK motherfucker

I promise I’m not manic lmao

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Making dinner for the family, gonna do some meditating when my boyfriend goes to the gym.

My ring came in! It looks beautiful.

I bought 20 gel capsules that are 12.5 cbd : 1 thc at the dispensary. I think it kicked in because I feel very mellow. It’s not enough to make you stoned, I just needed it for inflammation and sleep.

Dinner is bbq grilled chicken and a salad with herb marinated mushrooms, avocado, sliced peppers, medley of different colored tomatoes, and pecorino romano with olive oil & balsamic

Never noticed before but I think I’m super sensitive to the energy of Aeshma but perhaps it’s because it’s been a while since I’ve done that exercise :cat: what a great feeling, though! I felt so invigorated, as if I’d come out of a long slumber. I feel very in tune with my body, my emotions, and my physical health, and when I start to get anxiety over something I find that I am able to quickly talk myself out of it and remain calm and logical.

Big difference in how I feel, and I’ll definitely continue to get up early in the morning because I think it makes a big difference. I’m more productive and I sleep better, too.

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Gonna see if I can get out of going to this Thanksgiving party. I just don’t care for it. Id rather stay home to read and practice.

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Had a dream that I went to a strip club with Woody Harrelsen. The strip club was horror-themed and was also a haunted house, but then the strippers were trying to kill us. We ran away and then we were in the midst of an apocalypse and all these troops that would kill us started coming up from the hill.

Woody said we had to hide, so I got on his back and we hid by the water.

Then I guess the population had been almost eliminated completely on earth, so Woody and I started having sex to repopulate. Lmao. Pretty cool dream.

I’ll cross “fucking Woody Harrelsen” off my dream to-do list

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I have some pork chops with jerk seasoning marinating in the fridge that I’m going to throw on the grill later. I also made conch salad and a chickpea and feta salad that I made a few hours ahead so that it has time for the flavor to come together. Gonna serve everything with a side of jasmine rice with pigeon peas.

I was hoping that everyone would go on the boat so I could have the house to myself to do an invocation but everyone chose to stay home and go in the jacuuzi instead. Oh well.

I used to get angry when things like this would happen but I’ve learned to go with the flow recently.

We have some family over, anyway, and I’d like to spend time with them before they leave. I enjoy cooking for many people anyway.

I was thinking about how I offer my pain to Aeshma during exercise while picturing my ideal self, and started thinking about how I could possibly use that same concept with passion and Asmodeus. I don’t have a solid idea yet, it’s still just a concept in my mind, and I’m not too sure how I would do something like that. Perhaps when I formally introduce myself to him, he will tell me what I can do with it.

I’ve been the housewife today, which I enjoy. I marinated a filet mignon in worcestershire, and threw some basil, parsley, garlic, and olive oil in the food processor and slathered it all over top. I’ll cook that tomorrow, I’m thinking broiling will be the way to go.

One thing about me that seems to go against the idea of being your own God is that I love to serve my boyfriend constantly, such as retrieving him food and drinks all day. He doesn’t go get anything himself, because I do it for him. Other people don’t quite understand our relationship dynamic, but I don’t care.

I love to wait on him. I love to take care of him. It makes me feel empowered to have someone that I dote on. Without me here, he is a bit lost and probably will just not eat lol. The fact that he relies on me to take care of these things for him gives me this sense of power that aligns with the kind of goddess that I am. I am nurturing and motherly, and I love to love.

He takes care of me in his own way. I understand that he is not the type to dote on me, and that works for us. We have a special dynamic that serves the both of us well.

Maybe others don’t get it, but it’s not for them to get. It’s our own thing, and we’ve been a strong couple these last four years without it ever getting old or tiresome. We compliment each other and grow stronger each day.

I just felt the need to mention this because sometimes we try to mold ourselves into something that we are not to try and fit a certain image, but if something just works, it doesn’t matter how it may seem on the outside, so as long as it feels good on the inside.

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I must say that I truly admire and appreciate everyone on this site. I really feel at home here and I’m so glad I started on this path, not only because of how drastically my life has improved, but also because it has been such a joy getting to know everyone here.

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I got a henna tattoo on my chest lol why not

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Magnesium. Don’t take any formulation with magnesium oxide in it, unless you’re really constipated. Take more than recommended for the first few days, say 150%.

Al.
P.s. Please post your results.

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I’ve been regularly taking cbd gel capsules with a small amount of thc in them (not enough to get high) from the dispensary since I have my medical card and along with swimming everyday my pain is pretty much non-existent. I think stress played a huge role in my pain as well and meditating and practicing magick and working with demons has helped me in that regard.

By magnesium you just mean taking the vitamins or can I just eat magnesium rich foods?

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Magnesium is a mineral. Take tablets is easiest. Pretty well everyone in western society is chronically low on magnesium.

Al.

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I’m going to be going on a fast. I want to benefit more from meditation and ritual and this is the best way.

I will, however, be taking coconut oil, and ginger/tumeric/lemon shots.

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So perhaps starting a fast in the middle of your period isn’t the best idea. I’ll try again today.

I miss Halloween, I wish it lasted the whole month of october


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So beautiful, and I like the tattoo. I hope all is well.

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Thank you! All is very well. My bf and I are planning a trip to see his dad in North Carolina, then to see my dad in alabama, and then we’re fucking off to Arizona because we feel like the desert is calling to us. We don’t have any plans, were just gonna go with the flow and see what happens.

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