The place i saw, when i closed my eyes. Entities, morphing and shamefull

Here´s a thing that started happening right about the time i started getting in to the occult, i met a couple of people via a paranormal forum, they were interested in the things i had experienced and so on. The first thing they told mas that my eneries were of the charts, and i then understood how come people gave space to me, even 10 meters away having not yet seen me, i was projecting a get out of my way energy, i had a lot of misdirected hate, and anger back then. Anyway.

There was the place without color, sound or heat, it reminded of a rushed city street with people walking past you left and right.
I always found myself there when i closed my eyes, and slowly i started noticing that some of them reacted to me, and looked ashamed, and curled their head against their chests.

Next change was them stopping in front of me just looking aimlessly, and i could not yell, whisper or take a swing at them, but after a while they moved on.

Now it becomes more nightmarish.
Some of these shamefull grey things could morph, and ivé seen horroflicks and have a pretty messed up imagination, however the ones that stopped and changed, they were versed in conjuring forth truly disturbing creatures, shapes mixes and truly i do not have words to describe what they were showing me. I did however get the feeling that my presence angered them, at first they were ashamed, and maybe they thought i could help, or they disliked me for being where i was, and them being stuck there.

I would not take that from them, so i channeled anger, and in my mind showed them similar, or parody versions of the obscure stuff i was shown, and this shortened the time they tried to scare me.

After this i was allowed to watch, and most of them just did a brief morph, and then looked down, kind of a test of force/power. Less and less of them stopped and tried, and this was the stage where i was allowed sleeping a bit better again. It´s mostly gone now, i suspect due to me not being active, and it started when i was dabbling in the occult. I must have read and performed invocations, or somehow unaware not shut the proper doors. What, and where was this place that was void of color, smell, sound and feelings, oddly i did not feel anything there either, but i could comprehend, and think what i must have been going through emotionallly, and i believe this is how i kept my sanity, and avoided mental insititutions.

When i started going to this place, i had developed a skill for reading people, at distance and without any physical item connecting me, and i just listened to what came,and surely this was used for my gain, and purposes.

First of all, morphing is not an ability anything actually possesses. The things people see don’t morph because it’s a skill or talent these things have, they appear to morph because of the way we perceive. It’s US doing it, not them.

" shapes mixes and truly i do not have words to describe what they were showing me."

We don’t see the world as it is, we see the world as we are. When what we are is inadequate to describe the world as it is, we make due with what we have and use the next best thing. Like building a lego space ship out of a medieval lego set. It can be done, but you have to mash two separate ideas together to form something new.

Chimeric representations are very common as a result. Not necessarily a fusion involving animals, but a fusion of two disseparate idea. These fusions tend to be brand new and created on the spur of the moment, which makes them less than stable, and as a result prone to change and further morphing.

[quote=“The Cusp, post:2, topic:5640”]First of all, morphing is not an ability anything actually possesses. The things people see don’t morph because it’s a skill or talent these things have, they appear to morph because of the way we perceive. It’s US doing it, not them.

" shapes mixes and truly i do not have words to describe what they were showing me."

We don’t see the world as it is, we see the world as we are. When what we are is inadequate to describe the world as it is, we make due with what we have and use the next best thing. Like building a lego space ship out of a medieval lego set. It can be done, but you have to mash two separate ideas together to form something new.

Chimeric representations are very common as a result. Not necessarily a fusion involving animals, but a fusion of two disseparate idea. These fusions tend to be brand new and created on the spur of the moment, which makes them less than stable, and as a result prone to change and further morphing.[/quote]

Could clarify this for me? Since i have never understood what it was i saw?
The closest comparison in the sence of what it seemed to be would be “purgatory”.

“It´s us doing it not them”, who do you think they are, or what rather they are?, this has puzzled me since it started, and the church people told me they were souls that needed to be saved, and that this was my work.
And what would i get paid to do this work?, i asked. Well, the lords blessing. I do not need a lords/gods blessing, unless i ask for help with something, or what i want for me requires that. So i left church.

[quote=“Findinghome, post:3, topic:5640”][quote=“The Cusp, post:2, topic:5640”]First of all, morphing is not an ability anything actually possesses. The things people see don’t morph because it’s a skill or talent these things have, they appear to morph because of the way we perceive. It’s US doing it, not them.

" shapes mixes and truly i do not have words to describe what they were showing me."

We don’t see the world as it is, we see the world as we are. When what we are is inadequate to describe the world as it is, we make due with what we have and use the next best thing. Like building a lego space ship out of a medieval lego set. It can be done, but you have to mash two separate ideas together to form something new.

Chimeric representations are very common as a result. Not necessarily a fusion involving animals, but a fusion of two disseparate idea. These fusions tend to be brand new and created on the spur of the moment, which makes them less than stable, and as a result prone to change and further morphing.[/quote]

Could clarify this for me? Since i have never understood what it was i saw?
The closest comparison in the sence of what it seemed to be would be “purgatory”.

“It´s us doing it not them”, who do you think they are, or what rather they are?, this has puzzled me since it started, and the church people told me they were souls that needed to be saved, and that this was my work.
And what would i get paid to do this work?, i asked. Well, the lords blessing. I do not need a lords/gods blessing, unless i ask for help with something, or what i want for me requires that. So i left church.[/quote]

I was listening to E.A talking about evocation, and when he got to the crossroads point, and started describing it my heart literally stopped for a second or two. Then it struck me that where i have been going to sure reminded alot of what he described.

Here´s the strange part. I never did evocation to my knowledge, since it is a process in itself. I was trying to sleep, and that would also explain me not being able to recognize them, or communicate with them?
Maybe this is why i felt unwelcome/unwanted there? I propably still could not handle it without training. But i am not surprised, that if i happened upon that place it looking with its inhabitants somewhat odd.

I am at a loss for words if it is this i was doing for several years, and loosing sleep over this. My mind is boggled right now, and things have been happening the latest two weeks, and intensified when i decided to not stumble, or follow nothing else than my own will. I am going proudly down the left hand path, and i welcome all along for the journey, and hope to see all of you succeed. However, interested in your opinions, is it possible to get to the crossroads, the way i got there?