The Maddness of Dralukman- A Journal

Hahaha,
we argued a lot about where to go,
and where not,
for example red light district.

i initially declined going there,
and in the end,
on the way back home still went through there quickly.^^

I don’t like going there currently,
since there’s tons of Lodge people around there (freemasons)


Mainly,
i was supprised how easily you had taken access over my body,
but i accepted your desire after we had a little discussion about it,
and decided on some safety terms for the possession state.

i recall you were a little impressed,
about some of the modifications of my body. xD

Sincerely,

¥’Berioth

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Oh, now that just sounds like me fucking with someone. I did something similiar when I was practicing possession when I was in college. Compelled someone to go to a local gay club who had a really bad case of social anxiety

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No, you didn’t fuck around with me,
you indeed remained respectful and understanding towards my restrictions,
mainly when i reminded that the actual main reason for your presence lies in the ritual,
not the side-seeing.

I just noticed some of your desires come through,
pretty intensely.

That’s why i adressed it.

-Plus,
during the Possession,
you actually called me out,
on being horny.^^

So,
if at all,
that joke is on me.^^

Sin,

¥’B

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Anyway,
i enjoyed working with you,
and even more,
that you responded with some feedback,
about the actual success of the rite.

Glad we did it.

Honor to OBeryon,
which helped all of us to make it work,
and aligne and combine the different strings of consciousness and energy,
during that rite.

Sincerely,

¥’Berioth

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I enjoyed working with you as well, and it was nice hearing about your end. It helps me out with my own development, as well as understand how I interact spiritually with others. Thank you again my friend and feel free to invite me to ritual in the future (as i will also return the favor to you as well).

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sure,
we’ll meet again.

In case you need anything,
you can always access me the normal way.
(evokation of my spirit form.)

Sincerely,

¥’Berioth

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Mediation with Naamah Day 7(ish)

I invoked Naamah as usual and during the mediation I was feeling pain where my astral body was pierced by a spear. Knowing I know pretty much nothing about healing beyond the physical body via herbs, first aid, certain spirits to call, and some medical training, I decided to ask Naamah if she had anything I could learn. The words “Itz Coozu Amorith” came to mind and I began to chant it. As I did, I saw the edges of the wound begin to close and fuse together, similiar to how a tree will if you duct tape the bark before it dies. As i went deeper, i felt a comforting weight as i allowed the healing into the astral body. By the end of it, my head was buzzing with energy but i felt great and at peace.

The imagery of three doors emerged before me and I heard Naamah tell me to pick one. I pointed to the one straight ahead of me, in the middle. she then said, when you are ready, that will be the tunnel for you to move on through. For now, continue connecting with this realm.

And then I was snapped back to reality. Still have the buzzing going on, but feeling good

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Sacrament of Blood-Naamah

This is a very private ritual of mine, as it involves the consumption of blood (my own) and possession. This is a ritual meant to promote internal alchemy as well as deepen a connection with the spirit one is working with. I strongly advise that anyone who tries this does this not only with a spirit they are familiar with as possession is involved but with the consent of the spirit. Treat this in the same fashion as sex basically as this is a union of energy between two beings in order to help promote change. I do not recommend this particular ritual for beginners as it is very risky for the obvious reasons. But I am not known for playing it safe when it comes to ascension.

You will need:
-A candle you dedicate to the spirit
-A sigil. (Optional. Naamah’s was carved onto the candle I used)
-A drink (Perferably homemade, but I used a monster irish coffee for this one as it was a treat I had and was something sweet to give)
-Means to draw blood (lancets preferred. I used my knife on my arm for this one as it was my means and I know how to use a knife safely)
-An enn or chant to help connect you with the spirit

Place the candle (and sigil) in front of you. Take a moment to reflect on godhood and as you breath slowly, feel yourself as the master of reality. Take as long as you need to in order to solidify this into your mind. When ready, state as you light the candle

“I, (your name or god name), open the gate of fire for (name of spirit) only. May all impostors and thoughtforms who invade my space be consumed by the flames. The Alpha and Omega has spoken, and so it is. Welcome, (name of spirit).”

Begin to chant to call the spirit. I used my mala and my standard “Invoca Naamah” for this on, 108 times. If your sight has being developed and you got consent of the spirit, you should see them emerge in front of you or nearby. When ready, state your own consent to the spirit coming within you, two merging into one being, visualizing the merging taking place.

As prior to usual, she came within the third recitation and I felt the energy flowing into the room. Surrendering to the presence, I kept going, giving her permission to enter my body, my mind, my heart, and my spirit, visualizing all of her being merge into my own. I have only done this with one other spirit (Belial) and I noticed that my posture changed during the merging. Instead of feeling the urge to kneel, I was compelled to raise my arms, as if I was commanding the world to bend to my will as a king. I felt her latch onto my spine and merge from behind, fusing our energy systems together into one. I willingly took a step back as far as control goes and felt an instant calmness wash over as I became the observer of the ritual.

It is difficult to stay focused on the task at this point and since you are allowing the spirit to have control while you watch from that point of the ritual, this is where having them on the same page is important. Give them the direction to draw blood and mix it with the drink, seeing the energy created from the union of you and the spirit infuse in the drink.

At this point, begin to separate yourself from the spirit, watching both of your energy systems separate and becoming two again (you do not lose ultimate control with a spirit unless you give it up completely). Ask them to separate in front of you as you present the drink. Looking at them say something along the lines of this:

“Naamah, Queen of Prophecy,
Bless the drink of our union,
This poisonous elixir of man and spirit.
Infuse it with the embodiment of Nehemoth
So I may become it and strengthen my sight.
So it is.”

Drink the beverage, watching the energy come into your body and begin to infuse with your essence, going into your blood, etc. Take a moment to feel the change and when you are ready, thank the spirit and dismiss as your usual method. Before you extinguish the candle, announce that you close the gate of fire. Blow it out, and leave the space to do something mundane.

This sounds complex but with practice can become a small daily ritual to help solidify your relationship with said spirit. Still am feeling calm, although with the slight headache and pressure in the center of my forehead.

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Litany of the Four Queens

Ave Reginae notis,
Amans Samael.

Naamah, Reginae Nigrum Terram,
incresbreso menus visus.

Agrat bat Mahlut, Reginae illūsiónis,
ducis meus pedes.

Eisheth Zenunim, Reginae vita et mortem,
incresbreso meus animo.

Lilith, reginae liberta,
incresbreso meus corde.

Reginae glóriae,
Effringo cavea,
Et sintis menus animo
Exululo in ventus.

"Hail, Queens of the Night,
Lovers of Samael.

Naamah, Queen of the Black Earth,
Strengthen my Sight.

Agrat bat Mahlut, Queen of Illusions,
Guide my feet.

Eisheth Zenunim, Queen of Life and Death,
Strengthen my mind.

Lilith, Queen of the freedom,
Strengthen my heart.

Glorious Queens,
Break open the Cage,
And allow my soul to howl into the winds

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Interesting dream

So, as the title suggests, I had an interesting dream last night. I walked through a forest at night and came across a giant spider web. The web was large and strong enough to hold a deer in its threads. As the animal struggled, a creature with the upper body of a woman and the lower body of a giant spider pounced onto the deer, biting it deep, paralyzing it.

She continued to feed while I watched. I believe a normal human reaction would be fear but I would be lying if I said I felt that way. If anything, I remember feeling fascinated. When she was done, she discarded the carcass and repaired the web, ignoring me. When she was done, she rested at one spot and begin to pluck the web threads like one would play a harp, filling the quiet air with sweet music. I remember thinking “The beauty and horror of nature” before waking up.

Not sure how this relates to my current workings. There are many cultures that describe half human, half spider deities, as well as spiders that can shift between one and the other. I will have to explore more on it later.

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Naamah mediation, Merging of Godself, and Sacrament of blood

I was recommended by @Morgana9 to try merging with my godself. I had put it on the back burner for a bit until I felt myself being pulled to do it this morning. But, me being me, I worried how this would affect my current pathworking, so I meditated on Naamah and called out to her with my standard chant. Her presence was more gradual this time, slowly building pressure from my chest and felt my lungs tighten in a way one does while running. Uncomfortable but not crippling, and I realized I was not as open as I usually am. So, once I allowed myself to give in, her presence overwhelmed the room and filled my being. I asked her if it would disrupted the working if I were to do this and her answer was to pull me into an area where I was standing in a circle made of stone in front of a triangle of manifestation made of stone as well. I heard a very strong “do it” from her.

Instinctfully, i stepped out of the circle, leaving behind my role as the magician and took my place in the left bottom corner of the triangle. Extending my hand i called my godself, who appeared as the usual cloaked old man with a staff at the top point very quickly, looking both annoyed and amused this time. I extend the other and evoked the shadow Belial showed as the essence of my soul, the one who crawled out of the pit I called the Prima Materia. He came immediately as a being made of black and violet flames, laughing maniacally.

Me: “We have been separated for far too long. If we are to survive, the pieces must become one once more. Do you consent to merging?”

Both nodded and we began to chant. This was less actually words but the sounds of the hidden songs of life. Of birth, of death, of war, of peace, of growth, of decay, of passion, of sorrow, everything. I saw us dissolve from physical forms into colored energy and begin to swirl and fuse, becoming a new being entirely. The form was still energetic, but I could see every color imaginable flowing ti create the form, constantly shifting. I opened the new eyes and the scenery turned to nothing but misty shadows. I reached my hand out and a throne of obsidian and marble emerged. I took a seat and waved my hand, revealing the universe to my gaze. I drew lines mapping the stars, weaving new stories of the rise and fall of societies, of wars and Joy’s, of growth of forests and their destruction. Sitting back to gaze at the work, feeling a crown of flames upon my brow.

The conscious me told me to return to my body, pulling the energy of this combined being into my flesh. I then performed the Sacrament of Blood I discussed with the intention of “I sacrifice myself to myself to cement the connection between (my name) the man and (my god name) the god. May the lines between the two blur until no difference remains”.

Words cannot describe how I am feeling right now. Definitely wired, certainly powerful, and a deep peace (as well as the lingering sensation of a crown of flames). There is much still to learn, so much still. But this was an awesome experience.

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Yes brother.
This start. Do all three of you then you’ll be able to remove and dissolve those chak.
After the the rest of you fully merged.
It’s so beyond words I can’t describe

Please keep going. Do it.
You have achieved great success and I am so proud of you.
Congratulations. Dark Blessings

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Naamah Mediation and Q&A

Called Naamah as usual. I have gotten used to her energy so while it is powerful and “lifts” me, it does not feel overwhelming. When I was a chanting, the sigil I provided below kept flashing in my mind. I ignored it until I was well merged in her presence and asked her various questions as below.

Me: hello Naamah, what was with that dream of the woman who was half spider?

Her: right to business again? I was showing you on of the denizens of Nehemoth who I think you should approach.

Me: Who is she? What can she teach me?

Her: Her name is Syhil and she can teach you how to better weave (I think she meant weaving magic), how to improve your bindings, slip out of them, avoid snares, and whatever else she thinks appropriate. I cannot give away her entire lesson plan now.

Me: -chuckles- okay, was the sigil flashing hers?

Her: Yes, but how to call her you will have to work to figure out.

Me: I was wondering were the catch was, but I will Naamah. What is with the increased desire for meat and urge to hunt?

Her: Your species were not always on top of the food chain. Once you were prey, but it was that fear that drove your species to invent and “conquer” nature. Your species went from being the herbivore prey for predators into the top predators themselves through your technology, which is no easy feat. But the fear remains and fills your need for more and more resources, which could lead to your extinction. You are facing the fear of being prey and the urge to be the top of the food chain at a very personal level. It is part of the shadow of your species, of your ancestors. Acknowledge it, accept it, and channel the primal power in your workings.

Me: wow, I though fear would cripple a working?

Her: Fear only cripples those who allow it. For others, fear is a driving force, much like anger. They prey who fights off is not free of the fear of death, but fights because of it. By understanding that you have had to fight to the top and that it can be taken away from you is a driving force to prevent it from repeating, if you do not allow it to blind and swallow you up. Otherwise, you are fulfilling your own prophecy of falling.

Me: Thank you Naamah, is there anything else I need to be doing on my pathworking?

Her: work more with your damn cards, they are getting dusty. And be open to any ritual ideas that come your way. Just do them, don’t question it. You’ll understand when our time is done.

Me: Thank you Naamah. What kind of offerings would you like?

Got an imagery of a bar of Cadbury Milk Chocolate, flowers and a candle. I agreed to it and said my goodbyes.

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No Tool Evocation-Reaching out to Syhil

I was laying in bed, somewhere in between being asleep and awake. I could not fully fall asleep so I decided to use this time to call out to the spirit Naamah instructed me to get in contact with. I visualized a cloud of mist in front of me, building it up until it looked like I could reach out and touch it. I began to chant “Invoca Syhil, regina arena”. It took some time to get there and I really had to push my will out to summon her but when I did, the first thing she did was put her face an inch before mine, allowing me to stare into her eyes.

I could feel the fear of being prey penetrate the core of my being, which caused her to smile. She kissed my forehead, causing a bit of pain and the numbing feeling of venom to enter my skull. She proceeded to bite various parts of my body, injecting her venom. She moved back to where she could observe me, allowing the venom to course through me. It is hard to describe it exactly, but I could see a golden vibrating light emerge from each bite, spreading until it ran through my body. Imagery of spider webs being woven and spread throughout my body kept showing up. Eventually, I could refocus outward. I asked her to show me what I need to about bindings. She did not speak but beckoned me to follow as she disappeared into the mist. I projected myself into the mist the same way I did into my black mirror with Belial, traveling to a meeting place.

I willed myself to hitch a right into her consciousness (a bit of payback for the biting, although got no resistance) and was observing her hunting a rabbit. She was shooting out threads to catch her prey but instead of directly firing at them, she would shoot them nearby in front of the rabbit, causing it to turn in the other direction. She would keep doing things, luring it to move directly in front of her where she was able to directly grab it and make the kill, feeding. The imagery faded and I was returned back to my consciousness.

Lesson: If the rabbit had jumped over the thread, it could’ve gotten away, but when things are terrified, they focus too much on what they fear instead of clear strategies on getting away from danger. This causes them to make bad mistakes that lead back to what they are trying to avoid. As far as binding goes, using indirect methods to distract your target may lead to a more effective results. As far as avoiding binding or entrapment, keep your head cool and trust your gut. A good lesson on fear.

Interesting experience.

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Incense of Naamah

2 parts sandalwood powder
2 parts Aloeswood powder
2 parts chamomile
1/6 part Vervain
1/4 part sweet myrrh
1/4 part frankincense
1/4 part dragon’s blood resin
4 drops lavender oil
4 drops bergamot oil

Combine together and leave in jar for a day out of sunlight to mingle. It is a very intoxicating sweet, with a mixture of sweet and bitter notes with a very cooling effect on the body.

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Sacrament of Blood with Naamah

Last night was a repeat of a previous ritual I performed with Naamah. I lit her candle and put some of her incense on the charcoal, filling my space with its intoxicating scent. I called out to her using the standard method inhale been using with my mala. It took some more time than usual, but when she came, she flipped the control of the ritual on me when I welcomed her into my body. Normally, when I allow a spirit permission, i feel the sensation of them entering me through my back or the top of my head. This time, however, I felt her grip my throat, forcing my mouth open and entering that way.

Needless to say, a bit surprising and left me in a daze. Within me she then asked me if I was sure if I wanted to encompass all of the Dark Earth in my mind and body. I told her yes, as I needed to learn. I got the impression of a smile and saw the gate of the first qlipha open to me once again, filling me with visions of multiple scenes (a rabbit falling into the jaws of a fox, vultures picking at the bones of said fox, waves of the sea carrying the bones to the abyss, babies born in chains and carried to the grave while they cling to those chains so tightly, and a man fusing to a tree, his eyes glowing with energy that is not his own). I sank deeper into these visions, feeling all my shadows rise and fuse into my beings ranging from the shadows of my personality to the shadows of my species as a human. Creation, destruction, fear and lust wrapped me up like a blanket, causing my mind to try to resist it by questioning if I was making shit up. As quickly as the thought rose, it faded as control was removed. Eventually, I came back out of it and finished the ritual, mixing my blood with the drink and channeling Naamah’s energy into it for the purpose of promoting change of my being before downing it.

I felt fairly intoxicated for the remainder of the night, despite being somber. I even ended up rolling my ankle while leaving the ritual area due to the dizziness. Unlike the last rituals Naamah did not leave afterwards, as I had more visions and experiences relating to a more private subject. Still in a daze today but feeling more grounded.

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A moment with Naamah

This was not done by any special ritual. No candles, blood or incense smoke touched this moment. It was only myself and reaching my thoughts to Naamah. I spent a night at work dealing with internal turmoil with things not moving fast enough, successes reaching too low on the mark in the grand scheme of things, and overall dissatisfaction. In other words, my depression rose from the depths and I had to answer to my shadow on all that was brought. I could’ve easily walked off my job, go chain smoke in the parking lot, and perhaps get a beer from the liquor store (I highly doubt I was the only one feeling that way). But instead of burying the emotions deep with vices, I recognized them and dealt with them, even in the maddness of work, one by one. Out of the turmoil, I found my answer to Naamah about why I want to complete this working and why I mustn’t quit.

Sitting in the car for a bit after work, I reached out to her, not even using the invocation but forcing my will in my throat and projecting it out hard by calling her name. She came very quickly, as it seems to be the result of the workings. I said this to her as my answer:

“I must become the Black Earth, as well as all others within the Tree because I owe it to myself. I have sold myself out for years, a disservice really. I tried to be solely helpful to others and put them in my focus. But it is not their approval I need, nor my wife, nor my children, nor my friends, nor you, nor Belial, nor any spirit I work with. I could go my whole life being patted on my back for a good job, and still end up in the grave if i fail to get approval from one individual. He is the man i see in the mirror, and it is only his approval that truly matters, as he will be there at the end. That is why i must continue and FINISH the work.”

I simply got a visual of a smile before her presence disappeared. Not all spiritual experiences come from complex rituals. Feeling a bit fired up now and am thinking of goals for myself. I believe the next couple rituals with Naamah will be the end of working with this sphere for now and moving on to the next.

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Closing Ritual with Naamah and Becoming the Tree of Death with the Gatekeepers

I do not usually tie two systems together when I am pathworking. However, there was a strong need to this go around as I am ultimately working two pathworking at once. To begin the ritual, I did a standard shower cleansing, as I needed to remove the energy from my other workings. In order to do this, I rubbed ashes onto my body and drew all the undesired energy from my body into the ash. This takes only a few minutes and proceeded with stepping into the shower and washing the ash away, visualizing the energy going down the drain (if you use this technique, be very through as ash mixed with water creates lye).

Entering into my ritual area, I created a simple circle made with stones i had collected from the first piece of land i ever owned (which had to be sacrificed, making it very personally connected. it is a long story I rather not go into). I then created a cross within the circle out of stones, creating the symbol of earth which is represents the qlipha Nehemoth. I placed for red candles at where each line of the cross meets the circle, as well as Naamah’s candle in front of where I would be sitting. After smudging the circle to make it sacred space, I lit each candle and the charcoal for the incese and sat at the center of the cross, the center point of my entire world in that moment. Playing some dark ambient music and mediating for a bit to help slip into trance, i opened the gates of blood, smoke (using frankincense) and flame so the spirits I called would appear. I began by calling put to Naamah through the standard “invoca naamah” chant I have been using. She came quickly and I thanked her for her help in learning the lessons I needed to with working with her. I then continued with this enchantation pushing my will into each word:

“Naamah, Queen of the Blackened Earth,
Lady of Sight and Magic,
Mother of Song,
Reveal what I seek
Show me the worlds of the Death Tree”

I saw spheres of different colored light appear above me, most dim with the exception of the first one, which glowed brightly in a deep scarlet. I knew this was Nehemoth. I then switched gears and began to call out to each of the four first gatekeepers (Belial, Amaymon, Azazel, Abbadon) slowly. As each appeared, the candles seemed to dim as darkness filled the area and I could see each in their hooded forms I normally see them as. I asked them to open up to the Lake of Fire once again and as the ground opened up to it in my vision, I took the plunge, going deep into that place of seeming destruction.

I projected myself deeper into the depths with each passing breath, allowing the energy to course through me as opposed to resisting it so i could keep focus. I started to enter a point where the light of the fires dimmed away into pure darkness. I pushed deeper into this void until i finally reached a point so murky that it was like standing on the bottom of a body of water. Pushing my energy further, i shifted myself into the seed Belial gave me during my pathworking of him, seeing the seed being planted into that murky darkness, growing deep roots. As it began to grow, I fused into the forming tree, being carried back up as it grew out of the lake of fire, through my physical body and up through each of the qlipha, forming the actual Tree of Death.

As it touched each of the worlds, the rulers of each appeared to observe the working. For those unfamiliar with the Qliphoth but are for the Gatekeepers, Baal, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Satan, Belial (through Da’at), and Lucifuge are all Qliphothic rulers as well. The remaining gatekeepers moved to different points of the tree (Amaymon stood by Baal, Abbadon by Andramelech, and Azazel by Naamah). I shifted by focus to above the tree, looking up to the same eye of Satalos I see when I have called to him. Focusing back onto the tree, I simply stated
“I am the Tree of Death, and the Tree of death is me. I have learned what I need to from Naamah and now I go to you, Baal”

I heard a chuckle and a reply " don’t keep me waiting too long". Slowly, I dismissed each qlipthotic spirit except Naamah, allowing the imagery of the tree to fade, closed the portal to the lake of fire, dismissed the gatekeepers, and finally dismissed Naamah with a parting offering. The ritual took about an hour to complete in its entirety and a large amount of energy. My time with Naamah is over for now and, as stated, I will be working with Baal next

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11/10/19 Pact with Baal and Dream Following Ritual

I wanted to wait on writing the entry until I got up after some sleep in case of some dreams arising from the effects of the ritual. It seems to have been a good call. I will note that I did perform an act of sacrilege in this ritual with burning pages from the bible, so if you are sensitive to that I would not recommend continuing. While I honestly do not need to justify my reasons, I will for the sake of educating. While it is a book linking many to their faith, it ultimately is a book of conquests. Essentially, a good chunk of the book describes the destruction of multiple groups of people that where not favored by their god. In a way, it is similiar to war propaganda we find in recent history (the us vs them mentality). Baal (both as a singular deity as well as multiple local gods among the Canaanites) was essentially the enemy of the Abrahamic god in the sense that the worship of the people would go back and forth between the two. This of course led to the slaughter of those who worshipped Baal, according to the stories.

I ripped out each mention of these slaughters with the words “Baal rises” over the verse. The particular bible I used was actually given to me by my father when I was hospitalized as a child for my depression. As he put it, the reasons behind why I felt the way I did stemmed from a lack of faith, not from what I said was going on (bullying at school, constant conflict with step mother, and pretty much no point where I could talk openly about what i thought or felt without being told it was wrong). In a way, it is a symbol of an attempted oppression that I rose above. Each page being torn out triggered an emotional response reminding me of that time, which added to the offering. While it can be viewed as a childish way of doing things, acts like that do hold more value than the “screw you god” mentality that could be assumed.

Anyways, I drew Bael’s sigil (I find Baal and Bael to be one and the same) and activated it through my breath and my blood. I posted this on the wall where I usually face during my rituals. On the small bookshelf I have against the wall, I put a lit a candle, put my cauldron with a lit charcoal disk and a glass of water. On the center of the room, I set down a chair and placed the kings of the four suits of the tarot in a circle around it. I took the emperor card and placed it upright against the glass if water so I may gaze on it as I sit. I set down a large fire proof bowl in front of the chair. I was a little anxious at the start of this ritual so after taking a few breaths to calm my mind, I lit the candle and tossed some frankincense and a drop of my blood onto the charcoal, opening the three gates I work with for spirit manifestation. I put on some low ambient music I will post a link to in order to set the mood.

The original plan was for me to chant his enn while gazing at his ritual and then follow with in a littany I had wrote, but that felt wrong in the moment so I skipped the enn entirely. Instead I used this:

"Baal, Melech shelo Melachim*,
Bringer of storms and harvest,
Slayer of Yamm,
Bane of El,
Come forth.

Baal, Melech shelo Melachim,
He who tasted Mot’s fury,
Yet rises from death’s jaws,
Come forth.

Baal, Melech shelo Melachim,
Teach me of Kingship,
To build mighty halls with one hand
And crush armies in the other.

Baal, Melech shelo Melachim,
Come forth, mighty king."

Gazing at Baal’s sigil, I kept chanting “Baal, Melech shelo Melachim” as the world began to fade away. Baal came forth as an old man with long gray hair and a strong muscular build, covered in scars. His state was piercing and his energy was intense in terms of power. I asked for a sign that it was him and not only did he spell his name in Hebrew but the candle went out as the incense smoked shaped as if someone was holding a bowl over, creating an imagery of horns. I thanked him for appearing and stated that I called to him for his help with my Qliphothic working, as well as to teach me how to be a king of my own reality. He listened quietly and when I asked what he wanted in exchange, all he asked for was for me to keep the sigil posted on my wall to mediate on him during the month and for a glass of water each time as an offering. I am to mix my blood with the water and place a drop on the center of the page each day before the mediation. We agreed and sealed the pact. At that point, I set fire to the pages I tore out of the bible, stating that it was the last time those words were to be in the presence of my temple. Before departing, he said this bit of advice:

“Know this: I am a king not because I try to be but because it is what I am. By knowing what I am, my actions follow. By my actions, the world trembles to place by my Will. Own your reality.”

He departed before dismissal and I closed the ritual, cleaning up the area. I proceeded to do chores and such to get my mind off of it.

As far as the dream goes, it took place on a dried sea bed. Baal stood before me and pointed down, motioning me to dig. Taking a shovel, I began to. the soil was rough, filled with sand, rocks, and rotting vegetation. As I dug through the layers of muck and rock, feeling the exhaustion, I eventually to dig up some gold in the shape of a crown. Taking hold of it and bringing it up to the light, I saw it shine in the sunlight. At that point, i woke up. Very interesting start to this chapter of the working.

*I am still working on my hebrew and I typed it out by how I pronounced it instead of the usual script. It roughly translates to “King of Kings” although I am not sure how my grammar is to be honest.

The ritual music

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A moment of Reflection with Baal

The last few days have been rough. Arguements with my wife, shifts of bosses to one with less humor, my scrying mirror shattering, cutting up my hands that has forced me to slow down, and a general need for reflection and reevaluation of everything. I have seen who truly depends on me, those who would rather use me, and a better sense of what I want to build. Of course, during this type of reflection, that creeping voice of doubt comes up with words of “you can’t p” or “how”. It is easy to get lost in those types of thoughts, and can put out the fire within very quickly. So I turned to Baal with one question.

“You have shown me the state of the kingdom I made and shattered my illusions. I know where it needs work and where I would like it to go. How do I do it?”

Baal: “A king’s responsibility is to know where to go and to start the process. It is not his job to oversee the process like a warden. It cracks the walls he builds for him to do so.”

I think the point he is trying to make is that worrying about the how is not always the most important aspect, where as starting and seeing the task to the end is. I can see the truth in this, as it is very draining to worry about how to tackle the bigger task. Making the first step (or accomplishing a smaller task that builds towards the larger goal) builds up speed to eventually get to the goal.

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