The light in the darkness philosophy and magick

The past years have been quite hectic. My entire childown was a complete waste. Got smeared in shit by my own mother at age 4. She started threatening me with suicide and held a knife to her wrist to control me starting at age 3 and a half. A lot of completely dark shit. Got introduced to porn at age 7 and got addicted at once. I truly loved it.

Skipping ahead to age 16 i discovered a girl. This girl was my false twin flame and i felt something awaken within me. The true darkness within. My shadow self, All insecurities, beliefs, the ego, the evil, everything got revealed slowly but surely

As it turns out this girl was in contact with someone spying on my computer and phone and she used it to manipulate me and toy around with me the past years as I am turning 19 in a couple of days.
All of my darkest secrets have been revelead to the entire city of bergen in Norway. I have the strongest telepathic connection to her this world has seen and she writes them all down.
All of this was surely and guidedly shown to me by lucifer and lilith, my true parents.
As I got kicked out of my home 3 weeks after my 18th birthday i have been divinely guided to a home where even more people are spying on me with cameras and they told me I was sick in the head and needed to kill myself daily. They still do btw. All this is going down as they read my mind from her writing it down.

This in turn gave me the instict to turn to satanism as i wanted to discover what I am really made of. As soon as my first invocation of lucifer i felt the strongest fatherly love ever known. Too strong for my body, mind and soul to handle at the time. he told me I was his child and I soon after got in touch with lilith who told me the same thing. During this time of evocation I discovered alot of things i denied about myself including but not limited to bisexuality, paedophelia, wanting complete death to mankind, wanting to torture beyond the five physical senses, putting gasoline in little girls assholes and setting it on fire, true narcissism and that darkness and evil truly feels like home, loving death, loving the screams of people being tortured, loving physical self harm.

This has in turn enhanced the effects of the hate of the entire city and they read my thoughts, laugh or truly hate me everywhere i go. I have made my peace with it. As the light in the darkness incarnate i truly gain inner peace and happiness from discovering and doing work in the darkness

The darkness as it is called is most likely your shadow self. Everything you deny about yourself. It doesnt have to be what humans define as evil. It can be an insecurity and perhaps even compassion for others.
As you discover yourself more and begin to accept the shadow you truly become who you were meant to be. You find inner peace, serenity, joy and happiness from doing this work. hence it is the light you gain from discovering the darkness. I find that the darker i become with magic aswell as shadow work the more inner peace and happiness i find. I truly dont give a shit what the city cares. I know the truth of who I am which is more than anyone of them will ever dare to explore. I even explored it as the whole city watched and read my mind. I feel divinely guided by lucifer and lilith and even passed the tests of sepheranz with ease. I do truly love all of the demons as they feel like my true home.

Another aspect of the light in the darkness is truly accepting evil and doing evil to be happy as I have become. Like it or not, this is the essence of lucifer, or at least the most important aspect of him.
the more evil i become, the more happy i truly feel. This is directly related to the shadow work as I have found myself and found inner peace. Truly gaining light from doing dark acts. Not thinking oh what have I done, no thinking what will others think of me(the judgement of others is truly what you fear right?), no nothing. Pure darkness brings me peace, joy, and true life purpose. We are all connected. Evil and good are two sides of the same coin. Why not love yourself for who you are and let nothing stop you in the pursuit of happiness. If you truly believe lucifer doesnt have a true evil aspect, ask him to show himself as it. Remember, he might want to help, but if you are not comfortable with all his aspects he wont show it to you. I perceive his true evil as satan, the dragon, the adversary to the divinity within in most humans on earth who doesnt worship him. He truly has shown me both aspects of him and i deem him one of the most interesting and complicated beings i have invoked, and I have invoked alot of them.