Monday, February 1st
Time for a good old-fashioned Veil ramble.
To expand on my entry of a few days ago — Sallos, you beautiful bastard. I have more tasks for you, but damn did you work hard for your offering. Here is the effusive praise I promised you, and I’ll get you that glass of red wine as soon as possible.
About three weeks ago I sat down and wrote out a list of qualities my ideal partner would have. It sounds a bit cold and calculated, but it’s an illuminating exercise in introspection. I’ve lately been working on my own goals almost purely with Law of Assumption (Law of Belief, Law of Consciousness), but on a whim I called up Sallos on January 23 and gave him the list.
I like Sallos. On giving him licence to depart, the candle flame extinguished itself with perfect timing, precisely as the final syllable left my mouth. Very amusing. The candle burned into a well, and the wall broke, leaving behind a crescent moon shape.
That was a Saturday… I met someone on Monday.
I say “met”, but I’d known of him before. I had plans to go out on Monday and wondered if I’d see him there, but what good does wondering do when you can simply decide? So I firmly decided I would see him that day. Five minutes later I received external confirmation of that fact, from a third party, totally unprompted.
Going on three months now I’ve been listening to the fabled concordia booster subliminal. The delay between my deciding firmly on an intention, and its actual manifestation in the outer world, has been drastically reduced, and I believe I have this subliminal to thank for accelerating my understanding and application of the Law.
Even the “weird news” I mentioned on Jan 27th appears to be the early stirring of a train of thought I followed under the Law. It threw me off initially, until I connected the dots, but – can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.
It’s both amusing and kind of disgusting to look back at the past year and see how much time I wasted on the King of Pentacles.
By the way, he came back. Six weeks ago or so. I’m no longer interested, and in fact, he kind of disgusts me. I vacillate between between thoughts of mercy and pity, and thoughts of vengeance. And, if I’m being completely honest, I have acted on the latter. But the truth is, left to his own devices, he needs absolutely no external help in ruining his own life. I would prefer complete indifference, and I’m getting there.
That tangent aside – as always, I wrestle with the idea that there is a “higher power” that guides us. I say that in light of what happened with this King of Pentacles. King of nothing, really.
I don’t believe in an external divine source. That there is such a Source I believe without question, but we are of it and it is of us; it is not something outside of ourselves. Which is why the question of there being a “higher power” is something I keep coming back to chew on.
We are the highest power. We might consort with spirits and gods, but it’s our hand that guides the tiller.
And that rambling leads me to something I would like to touch more on once my thoughts are fully formed: retrocausality.
To be fair, I did warn that this would be a ramble.
I connected with him a night or two ago. It was unexpectedly intense, following the tenuous connection I felt in previous contact; and resulted in a massive gnosis dump. Tears were shed. I have some written ramblings which perhaps I’ll share sometime. The meat of it is – my overwhelming impression is of his role as the patron, the guardian, the shepherd of humankind. The humanity in us, but the link to our god-spark. The essence of free will and choice; urging us to taste the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, to not to be a passive vessel. The thread that connects us to divinity. The ability we each have to command the kind of connection and power enjoyed by non-physical entities… and so on. Not opposed to God, but of God – of consciousness.
Tuesday, February 2nd
Idly shuffling cards, thinking about this situation. Six of pentacles, the magician, ace of swords, hanged man.
Then thinking, he’ll stay with me.
Two cards fall out immediately: four of wands, ten of cups.
Curiously close to my dream of the other night.
I picked up a copy of Corwin Hargrove’s Universal Magick a day or two ago and dove right in. I’ve been searching for a while for a practical Enochian grimoire that’s not overburdened with fluff and theory and warning.
The sigils (seals, tablets) are fucking potent. Very easy to get drawn into. I might perform another ritual tonight.
While it goes on to mention the various names of God, of angels, demons, other entities, elemental and directional powers… it puts me in mind of Metatron. The clockwork aspect of the outer world, channeling raw source, chaos, possibility – whatever you call it – into form, order, manifestation. And, is it not said that Metatron is the form of Enoch, after ascending to angelic form?
And, the words that keep running through my head: