So , firstly, I have spent my life feeling like an outsider. In the short while I have been on this forum, I have begun to feel a sense of belonging and self worth I have never felt anywhere before. So I would like to thank you all for making me feel welcome and even happy.
Secondly, there are only two things I really want in life.
The first is to have my best friend by my side as my lover( he is straight- I am gay),or at the very least just back as my dearest friend again. We have been friends for over 20 years and I have always loved him from the sidelines ( yes he does know I am gay) and knows how I feel about him and has always accepted it until now that his current girlfriend suddenly has an issue with having me around. It hurts alot ( unbearably to be honest), but I am trying to cope with it. We always shared a very close bond, although not sexually, but definitely more than just an ordinary friendship.
The second , being able to take care of my ( retired but not by choice) parents and my son( adopted after his father( also a very dear friend) passed away from a drug overdose. I recently have also been retrenched and am now trying to get my business going. I am a chef at heart and have started a small restaurant. My dream ofcourse is to build a network of fast food restaurants with my friend.
Anyway, here I feel secure enough to allow an insight into my life.
Now for the questions:
- I have had a rather strict christian upbringing, but have never felt like I belonged. Yesterday and today, i cast my first spells, and felt really positive about their outcomes, aswell as feeling like I have found my calling. I would like to know how safe it is to summon Lucifer as a beginner, as I would really like to learn from him. The spells I cast today, were cast in his name( I felt like he wanted me to do it that way), but maybe because of my upbringing I still have a residual fear. And how do I contact him respectfully and would he be willing to teach me?
- How safe is it to work with demon magick? Obviously I still have a lot to learn, but I am willing.
- What do demons require as payment for services and how do I set up a contract for these services with them?
- Which demons would be best to ask for help in my personal areas of need - namely confidence, self esteem, self improvement ( both emotionally -I am a very emotional and sometimes volatile person and struggle to control my emotion-and physically - weight, looks, sexual attractiveness), financial issues, and issues in my so ( for lack of a better word) non- existent love life?
I apologise for the length of this message, and understand that one person will probably not be able to answer all my questions, but anywhere is a good start.
I look forward to any and all advice. Thanks again.