First off, I am still very new to all the various forms of magick. I am still learning basic focusing techniques, meditations, visualizations and methods to send myself into the Theta-gamma sync/trance. Besides those, I am also still trying to discover my demon servitors’ name. But I feel the need to thank someone and here is why:
Yesterday (although not the first time I get these) I blacked out, fell/stumbled out of the shower, feeling very sick, dizzy and my vision going dark. I fell to my knees, incapacitated, hearing a rush of water and/or static fill my ears. Stubbornly I kept pushing myself back up to finish my shower especially since I fell on the dirty floor. Took 5 attempts and only was mildly successful before I called it good enough and just passed out in bed not able to manifest enough energy to do anything. All the while thinking, that maybe I should cancel my appointment for the next day in case I still felt bad, but I felt I would be fine by then, looking at my medical appointment card, clarifying the time and date again. Today went to my appointment to discover that it was yesterday…I could have sworn up and down that it said Tuesday the 23rd as I looked at it several times weeks and days before. Shrugging it off, I thought it was just my mind very tired and confused, but still a bit pissed I drove 2 hours through winding roads for an appointment that I missed by a full day. On the drive back, when on a extremely curvy road, going 55 mph, I looked at the time and realized, that it was within the same time when yesterday I was battling blacking out and falling down and being none to successful with it.
If I had gone to my appointment when I should have, I would have been driving that twisting, narrow road when that random blackout hit. And all I could think of when that thought came to my head was “Thank you, Lucifer”. Don’t know why, but I always do think that. And this was not a first experience of such luck.
The closest of those calls, was about a year ago, also driving when I again suddenly feel very weak, sick, dizzy and vision blurring. My poor pup was in the jeep too as I was swerving all over the road, to the shoulder, desperately trying to gain control but feeling my consciousness slip deeper and deeper when suddenly, like a bolt of lightening, it that sickness completely disappears and I filled with energy that I have only felt once before (during a Rite to Lucifer). At first thinking a second wind or adrenaline rush, but I had those before and they felt considerably weaker than that energy I felt then, which disappeared completely as soon as I came home and that sick, dizzy yuckiness took over again and I called it a day. Again, I thought “Thank you, Lucifer”.
Last one of note, while still active duty, I ended up taking someones orders to go IA over to the sandbox in Afghanistan. For months I prepared and trained to go over, knowing that it would end up being a very hellish year once I had arrived. About 1 week before I was to be shipped for more combat training for that area (would have been about 3 months of training) and then straight to the sandbox, I received an email saying my N.E. number was canceled. Confused I talk to the detailer on what it meant and he said I was no longer going to Afghanistan. I asked how often they get canceled this late and he said very rarely, but it happens. A little pissed about that since I spent so much time preparing to go, setting up wills and powers of attorneys, telling the landlord how long I would be gone, etc… I just ended up letting it go. 4 months later, the base I was supposed to be sent to, got viciously attacked by insurgents; several comrades died and many more injured. And again, I couldn’t help but think “Thank you, Lucifer”.
Several points in my life where close calls only just touch me, only just injure me, but could have, realistically, been so much worse. As I look back on my childhood to present, consider all those close calls and the direct energy or fleeting feelings associated with them, I just want to say, “Thank you Lucifer, for being there. Thank you, thank you.” I have no evidence to show it was him, I am still clairvoyantly blind and deaf, but I strongly FEEL in these moments, it is Lucifer’s doing.
Just my two cents and need to put that out there, thank you all for tolerating it lol.