Tarot with clear head or concentration?

So I do readings for myself on things to come or advice. I don’t know the cards fluently so I normally just do one card readings as an outcome our advice on a certain situation and maybe 1 clarifier. I also do yes or no by shuffling and pulling 3 random cards and 3 upright is a strong yes, 2 is a maybe or probably and then reverse amount pertaining to no. If it’s 2 upright or 2 reversed I typically look at the cards and go with what I feel.

But I’ve read conflicting theories stating you should just shuffle and pull cards to your question without really thinking too deeply but I always concentrate exactly on my mind question and people involved and ask my spirits and guides to aid me in choosing the correct answer to my question, positive or negative.

Here’s an example: I sent my ex a very long text yesterday of all the pent up feelings I’ve been having that I need to release. I didn’t get a response but I didn’t really need one as it was basically me spilling my guts after being quiet and letting her sit on that. I felt shockingly positive and relieved somehow after my gut kept telling me she didn’t answer because she’s confused and still hurt over everything as we’ve been apart for 2 months after living together and being together over 2 years.

So I used my cards and just asked out loud if her and I will end up reconciling but without thinking or asking for spirit help. I got 2 reversed and 1 upright but forgot the cards.

I shuffled again and really concentrated; I asked my guides and spirits to help aid me in my question to see the answer I need to see. I got The Lovers upright, Ace of Cups upright and 3 of Cups reverses. To me this not only indicated a maybe or probably but with two very positive cards for love and relationships, very different from the first. I’m confused on the 3 of Cups rx though because I have very close friends keeping tabs on her and all say she isn’t talking to anybody else and probably won’t for some time so not sure how to interpret that. I use the RWS deck btw.

Just curious to how any of you do your readings and outcomes with either of there was ever a noticeable difference?


Hi, I sometimes have a habit of doing readings and forgetting what the cards say. Especially if I do it when I am stressed out. I use online readings as I don’t want to own a deck.

I know you weren’t asking but the 3 of cups is a card about socializing and having fun. So in reversed it would be more about focusing on something else, I think… Maybe your ex girlfriend is quiet cause she just needs time to herself? I’m just guessing based on what you’ve shared.


It quite honestly is the most frustrating situation I have ever been involved in. I fucked up doing shitty things in our relationship, nothing like cheating or lying but more on the bringing her on an emotional rollercoaster that wore her out when she did everything she could for me.

I tried working with Sallos, Dantalion, King Paimon, Lucifer and Pomba Gira and literally nothing has changed since we broke up in December. I just get so frustrated not knowing anything because nothing is happening so I use my cards to maybe see something I’m not clearly seeing otherwise and I generally get positive cards more recently than I have during December. Parts of me literally feel like electricity sometimes when I think maybe I need to reach out because maybe she’s sad I claim to love her so much but aren’t doing anything about it, send her this long “I know I fucked up” text and get nothing in response. I know she’s not that cold and further more I’m looking to moving to Philly in the next two months and I find out she is as well. It’s like I feel it in my body every day that we are two steps away from reconciliation and the Tarot cards often express it and so have psychics (not sure how much I trust the latter) and I don’t even get a response from her so it’s just a clusterfuck. Im not even mad or feeling crazy, Im just frustrated like I’m dealing with the most stubborn person alive. Sorry for the rant as it had drifted off topic slightly.

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Stop focusing on the feeling of lack and start putting more focus on THAT feeling instead


I tried and she just won’t have it. The text I sent her wasnt pouring my heart out and begging her to take me back, it was me letting her know my true feelings and real reasons for all my actions that she took very differently when she ended it; making her become very cold to me. It was open ended, I didn’t tell her to come back and to believe what she believes but that I am truly sorry and know I fucked up, yadda yadda. I read it back twice and was actually proud of myself for what I wrote and didn’t miss anything.

It’s like I should be making progress but I don’t want to press any further if she won’t say anything back. Part of me thinks she didn’t respond because she doesn’t care or is just completely over it, and another part thinks because she’s scared to trust me again and is resisting. She has incredibly will power that I respect highly because I don’t have that.

I pulled some cards today and asked what the obstacle between us is and I got the King of Pentacles and clarified with 3 of Cups reversed again. Only thing I can make of the combo is stubbornness because she can’t trust me, or trust that I won’t hurt her emotionally again. Which sort of also goes on par with her not answering for this reason. I want to just shake her and say let me love you again.

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Why did you ignored the first answer? Was it because you didn’t liked what you got? They say that it’s not really wise to do a reading for yourself because you will affect the outcome since it concerns you. My trick Is to pretend I’m doing the reading for someone else. And I always take the first answer as the right one even If I don’t like it. I was never wrong and even the “non believers” came back for a second reading.

But you don’t have to take my word for it, I was taught in different card reading traditions.


The way I feel most comfortable doing it is with meaning and intention behind, like doing any ritual or spell work as it in some ways feeds off energy. I disregarded the first answer, which I don’t recall being that negative actually, because I just flipped a couple of cards out. The second time I put energy into without it reflecting my emotions at the time because yesterday I felt calm and at peace. If I’m feeling emotional or sad I won’t even touch the cards.

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