So as a child I had an imaginary female friend. Fast forward to about a year ago I started reading Jung and wondering about my anima. One night very sleep deprived I channeled a name. I thought it was interesting and moved on. Now a few months back I had a beautiful dream with three demon girls, very loving and affectionate. My psychologist thought they represented past substance abuse, but they didn’t feel like ordinary dream characters. Now over the years I’ve had a few times a year or more these beautiful, long and romantic dreams with various girls that always left a big emotional impression upon waking. Recently I read Sexual Alchemy by Donald Tyson and posts from @succupedia, and began to wonder. I never did a ritual but the other night I wrote a letter and put it under my pillow. Something like, “dear ephaedra, I would love for you to visit me tonight in my dreams” went to bed. Twice I awoke around 2-3am after having beautiful, very sweet dreams involving holding hands and cuddling with two different girls. I woke up, peed, and laid back down and all of a sudden there was a flash and loud noise, and now I am not alone in bed. I can feel a loving presence and a physical body coddled up to mine. I remember being amazed and taking her hand and kissing it. We laid there and held hands/she laid on my chest for a while, all during this my body felt electrified. A few moments later another flash, and she was gone.
The rest of the night I saw flashes around the room.
Now my question is, should I be concerned of the true identity of her? Or is there a way to determine if she is who I feel she is?
I feel only a loving presence and as if I have known her my whole life. Any thoughts?