Stuck in my path - need help

General Discussion
1

I struggle talking about it all in detail…

I’ve rewritten it alot, i got light spots in my vision in the dark, my eyes are healthy i did a checkup. social circle is giving me so much anxiety because i dont want to be there, i fear for my life because of it.

Magick is on hold, i’ve lost focus on my life, i think something went wrong, but my senses arent developed
yet to see it. there are some things i did but it would be a bit lengthy, i wish it could be over pm if i someone would be willing to listen

I wish someone could help verify what is wrong i would be grateful…

An illness got worse, my self esteem crashed because of certain events, so much happened i feel broken.

2 Likes
2

@Zorath, Many minds together are better than 1. I would hope that if you can find several people you could do a joint pm if your not comfortable posting publicly.

I am definitely here to listen to you :slight_smile:

3 Likes
3

I am here for you :slight_smile: As Aprentiz said you can do a group PM.

3 Likes
4

I’d be willing to listen as well :hugs:

2 Likes
5

thank you for saying this, ill try write it here.

some time ago last year i started working with magick, i was quite eager to work with Goddess Diana and had set things up, but i was quite messy mostly due to being insecure on what material to work with or how to even approach or what to even expect i know what i wanted to do, but i could never find enough practical or magick related material/experiences on her . so i did the best i could simple prayer and worship, but growing up i was always very by the book so i decided to work with the 72 angels at the same time since there was material on it, but im no way a believer in the abrahamics faith that much though i feel i still carry the “programming”, but all the time i was annoyed i couldnt find enough on the spirits i really wanted to work with first. so many times my decicions kept going back and forth so much were chaotic i felt obcessed and angry i couldnt reach out the way i hoped for. i had some dreams for a while about the goddess and certain events around me seem to speak.
after a while due to feeling inept and even thinking i pissed her off, i just got distracted with other things and i felt like i lost the connection.

this sounds a little drama, but heck it, i have trouble expressing myself because of trauma i think, i hate bottling shit up, but i do it like second nature to a degree i’ve gotten abused the **** of

what i’m sitting with now though some minor hallucinations. I also asked for something then someone came into my life and completely destroyed my self esteem and i just dont quite
can see how i allowed it to happen im angry as all fuck with myself and people i know, i struggle with daily anxiety, over active imaginations of what if scenarios, i just cant get even normal things around the house done during the day, its horrible.

i just feel horrible for whatever i might have done wrong, thank you for listing. im grateful for those who are here, if this seems poor i understand, but im in rock bottom at the moment, i dont think it was so much my practice, but im confuzed about it, because of proof and doubt.

i want to outline it was 72 angels of the name through damon brands books btw. Goddess Diana is through the interpretation of the gospel of the witches.

thank you all i just feel judged all the time, hard to ignore it.

6

For me, the problem with Goddess Diana is that you did overthink about it. You were insecure that you might do something wrong due to the lack of information on her, afraid that you would mess things up.
So ,with this mindset, you started praising her, approaching her with caution and your obvious anxiety. You didn’t see final results even though the goddess seems to have appeared to you in dreams (signs she listened to you) and you got disappointed thinking you somehow pissed her off ,blaming yourself. Thus , you abandoned the specific practice for another.
I am in no place to judge or even comment on your hallucinations (if they indeed are and not visions), but I can tell that your anger derives from being disappointed and discouraged.
And to that I ask: what is the point of wasting your precious energy through anger and negativity? The signs are there, your prayers to the Goddess were heard.
And if you still think she is mad at you, you should contact her and ask.
There is absolutely no reason for your journey to be in a halt (the way I see it) as the only one dragging you down is ,well… You.
Your self doubt and insecurity makes you question everything concerning your practice and restricts you from trusting your intuition and see your successes.
:slightly_smiling_face::slightly_smiling_face::slightly_smiling_face: Hope I helped , thanks for hearing my opinion out sister. Be at peace :black_heart::black_heart::metal::metal:

2 Likes
7

First of all let’s get the “I did something wrong” idea out of your head. Diana has always appeared warm and nurturing to me. IMO she would not take offence at things getting messed up if the sincerity was there.

I am curious why you found it so difficult to find the information you wanted on her. You have an amazing resource here and if nothing was to your liking you would have had many suggestions for places to start your search.

Distraction is part of life, it helps our minds take a break and possibly return to our tasks with a refreshed perspective, so nothing wrong with that :slight_smile:

Your self esteem is not destroyed, it is not something physical that can be. It’s still there you will just need to reconnect with it again. What changed in this area that you can share regarding how your self esteem got side tracked?

With regards to minor hallucinations, I am not a doctor and will not claim to be or offer you any medical advice, but It would be good to work through them with you, understand them and what may be causing them. Do you feel it’s possibly stress related?

I would turn your house cleaning into a ritual, give it a specific day and stick to it. Pick a day that corresponds to Dianna, burn some pleasing incense and start your ritual. I always keep a spotless house only for the simple fact that I can instantly feel the moment negativity enters.

Hope to talk with you more on this :slight_smile:

1 Like
8

@anon48508954

thank you :slight_smile:

@Mystic-Void

you given me a few things to think about, ill heed your advice on this, thank you and blessings to you to, but i think you mean brother, i’m a guy. :wink:

@Aprentiz

Quite stressed yes, but for now talking has helped specially since its about what i can hardly talk about with people in my daily life :slight_smile: I cant say i found enough satisfactory is all compared to the works on angels or demons with a few exceptions.

I think ill go to pm for the rest, but i have to do it tomorrow, long day. thanks in advance if others reply here with any similar experience or advice/information on the 72 angels or the Goddess, ill be sure to read it. :slight_smile:

1 Like
9

Try to research road opener spells.

10

@Zorath My sincere apologies :confounded::confounded::confounded: I dunno why I keep assuming genders :joy::joy:
Good luck :black_heart:

11

@Mystic-Void no worries :slight_smile:

It seems i cant pm since im a basic user, i guess i need to post a bit more. I would very much like to pm you sometime @Aprentiz i forgot to ask what suggestions you had in mind regarding resources.