I have been this… I would say about 15 years in some form or another. It started when I was 16. Or there about, maybe 17. A darkness just… Hit me. I was very lazy, grabasstic and immature about it for a very long time, but that in and of itself taught me many very powerful lessons.
However, thanks to folks like E. A. Koetting, Crowley and many many others, i am leaps and bounds ahead of wjere i was a few months ago. Even what can be found for free is solid gold.
But the most intimate of my gurus in this have been neighbors I’ve net that were just eager to share their knowledge. Each guru more strange than the last and each one coming into my life, expanding my consciousness and stepping back out as long forgotten strangers. Amoung these were my old neighbor Mark; a strange, deep and very esoteric man.
Mark was about 5’10 with a moustache and goatee. He had curly hair and wore glasses. I was out smoking a cigar one day and he was there with a cigarette. I told him I was looking into the occult and his eyes lit up like the sun. In my time with him he tried very hard to get me to understand concepts that I wouldn’t grasp for almost a decade. He looked 35, but claimed that he was actually 160 years old. He told me he had met Aleister Crowley and that he too was alive and well. Mark fell into obscurity after about four months of knowing him. He was not the easiest if teachers to understand, but he knew his shit and I believe the things he told me bast on my own strange experiences with magick. I note him because if this.
Following was a Priest named Scott, who had just been released from prison for 25 years on murder. He was actually a poor teacher, but he did teacher me the money valuable lesson I’ve ever learned in magick: Patience. He had a habit of pissing me off, but since he did practice hoodoo, he was more powerful than me and therefore… It would have been unwise for me to attack him. Patience really is a virtue.
Then there was the Mormon witch, a few wiccans and pagans that were short lived.
The shortest guru I had was a witch that only read my mind for a moment. It was at a time in my life where I was being a huge fuck off. At the first expo for higher consciousness we were standing in a group talking about the powers of the mind and I mentioned something about the power of mind over matter and she stared right at me, almost through me and said “Then there are those who spend that time and effort on videogames.” I like this gypsy lady… She was right, though. I ended up getting rid of many distractions about a year and a half later because of that moment.
Then there was Dean. Dean was a homosexual make up artist that taught me magick through Buddhist and Hindu perspectives. Mainly I liked hanging out because I could learn from him and smoke all of his weed. Again, I’ve had my fuck off moments.
Then there was Anita, the Buddhist neighbor that was once a leader in the Utah, Idaho Buddhist temples. I bummed probably 100’s of dollars worth of cigarettes from her and she was all too happy to share not only her Virginia slims, but stories of her experiences with her husband who fought in world war two as a machine gunner. He was Japanese and fought for America. She told me of experiences she’d had with the occult, like the Golden Dawn and some of the higher yogis in India. We’d smoke cigarette after cigarette and I’d keep bumming them so I could keep hearing more about how the universe works. She gave me a book called “Truth versus Falsehood by David R. Hawkins” interesting read.
My most recent guru has asked to remain anonymous and I only refer to him as ‘S’. But thanks to the teachings of many interesting and strongly different gurus, I am leaps and bounds ahead of where I have been.
The further I go into the world of magick and let my life absorb it, the more I relate to Alice and the white rabbit… These days, so much changes so often that I can’t really tell you how life has molded me, because I’m still flexible and open to learning and evolving. I don’t imagine that will ever change.
Because of the variety and willingness of such a variety of gurus. I don’t just see a black and white existence, but a colorful infinity of strange goings on… The light of life is not just to go to heaven, but to create it. Make it so. To me, a magician is someone who asked just the right questions and discovered the key to breaking through the 3 dimensional Matrix.
This much I hold to be absolutely true from my experience in life; The truth is often stranger than fiction.
There are no right or wrong answers here. Life is guided by what we as individuals focus on. Mine is on finding the real truths. Making my life what I want no matter what. I still slack off, but I’ve learned to utilize at least a few spells. Some work right away. Some I have to do a few times before they’ll work.
Magick is a discipline and a tool for things beyond my wildest dreams. Imagination is the limitation.
I love that. I can’t speak highly enough of what magick has given me.