just wanted to post about a weird little experience last night. I have had a few strange things happen in my life but never quite this before. I’m not sure quite what to make of it yet. I posted before about how I think some spirit is obviously trying to get my attention and inspire me to work with it. Last night after I went to bed and was laying in the dark I thought for a moment wondering who exactly it could be and also what I might really think of the left hand side of the path. It seems out of nowhere at all that I sensed is very strong energy current, much different from any I normally sense. It centered around my stomach area and quickly flowed around somehow. It’s impossible to really explain. I knew that something was around that was not like any of the love and light forces I have tired to deal with before. This was oppressive in a way, powerful confidant. As unusual as it was compared to anything I’ve worked with before though still it seemed strangely like its intent was certainly not one of harm or fear. I was quickly becoming overwhelmed by whatever the presence was but still it seemed it was only meaning to answer the barely asked question of minutes before. I had a strong sense that my life and path really were about to move on a new direction that I once would never have considered but still it was not evil as we might first think of it. The presence of darkness yes but not the presence of pure evil and hate idle the things we fear it would be without exception.
I have suffered from anxiety issues for the whole of my adult life and somehow this energy feeling seems almost exactly like having an anxiety attack without the fear and the actually anxiety of it. Yeah that’s very tough to explain too. After a moment I was able to form a coherent thought and o simply wondered what that actually was. In my head I got a strange and immediate thought I’m sure was not my own “I am the formed abyss.” Where have I heard that before? I know I have but I can’t place it for the life of me. Koetting quoted it somewhere I think but I can’t begin to say now where and in what context. Of course of anyone can place that one that would be a great help.
Oddly I’m not scared by this or anything though I feel on some level I should have been once. I am however curious about what happened. I think it may have been important. And sorry for the possibly bad formatting and typing. I’m typing this on my phone which is always annoying to do lol.