This is really weird and I should categorize this as baneful magick, I will keep it in the general discussion for now.
I have recently been getting “strange” new urges, as I progress. I did not do more evocation’s or such but I have been meditating a lot more and gotten in proper TGS.
I have been friends with my friend ever since we meet 9 years ago when we were kids. We are greatest of friends even now, but something has changed with me. Knowing I have the potential to kill people with curses, it changed me I think.
Each day I’m asking myself the question if I should curse him or someone else, infect someone’s dreams with all kinds of horrors, ruin influential people and so on.
Do you also get these kinds of “urges”?
Also, I am not crazy and these urges aren’t voices or such. Maybe I just need some aura cleansing work.
a little cleansing baby
it 's like a rush of blood to the head when you can feel your power…
i want to kill and curse people right now , but i’ll think about it for 2-3 days and then i’ll do my thing ( i mean for real)
don’t use your power for fun, use it for real purposes.
Yeah, that’s what I tell myself. I actually imagine my brain (Biological brain) having a cartoon-ish body eating those thoughts consuming those thoughts into energy. After that I feel a little rush of energy.
I definitely think that you should cleanse, maybe is that you grabbed some traits from the demon/spirit you contact .
Sounds like a chakra balancing is needed. Or perhaps it’s part of your personality?
Lucifer is really understanding, I wouldn’t think so but good suggestion. I will try to consult him. I will definitely cleanse.
I think I need a chakra balancing, although I have been cleansing and activating them to then lock them. I kind of “play” with them to master myself.
To me it sounds like your destructive impulses are seeking an outlet. Any outlet at this point.
I work mine out with my staff workouts ( granted mine get a bit insane sometimes) bit it helps from repressing that side of me.
It also helps the path of smoke has practices that utilizes those forces specifily.
I would recommend art or exercise. Any kind of art can be usefull for expressing these impulses. One method i have seen is if you like to draw or write is express obstacles in your life through a creative medium then burn it and scatter the ashes. The result is your burning down that which hinders your path.
My experiences with various types of abilities and powers have led me to an understanding that various energies all have consciousness. We, as practitioners need to be able to control those powers, or else they will eventually control us.
When you change the magick you practice, you change your vibration, choosing what you tune into via the Mass Consciousness on this planet.
Contrary to popular advice, i advise you to simply keep thinking about whether or not. Come up with rules for yourself. Knowing your own rules will help you understand your motivations and when and why breaking your rules is necessary. I don’t think you need cleansing, i think you need to take a serious look at your capabilities and motivations
@Anastasiya has it right, you gotta master yourself. I know when I feel the urge to sling around some baneful magick, I ask myself “Is it really worth it?”, and the answer has always been “no”.
I do need to take a bit of time to do some mental housekeeping that I haven’t been keeping up with as well as I should, just need a good solid block of time where I can enter a deep meditative state so I can realign my thought processes and emotional responses.
That is exactly what I am doing every time these thoughts pop up in my head.
Good, this is exactly what you need! Think of it like learning martial arts. When you learn to block a punch or throw a punch, you feel like you want to practice all the time, or you may feel the instinctive need to block things that LOOK like incoming punches (like my brother does). Yes, practice is good, but so is precision and motivation.
A Real Man should know “When to Stop.”