Starting a new relationship- the right way (advice?)

I wrote a husband list of all the qualities I want in a mate, and last year I started daydreaming about my future husband. I even gave him a name. A few months ago I saw a guy in passing who absolutely took my breath away. I even told my friends and family about him, he feels so familiar whenever I occasionally see him around my neighborhood. Well, come to find out that he is the son of an elderly neighbor of mine, she likes me and agreed to introduce us. According to her, her son is recently divorced, single, and looking. His name is the same name as my daydream husband :astonished::face_with_hand_over_mouth: I am convinced I manifested this guy into my life. I want a relationship with him, and I want it to WORK.

Since my last relationship ended I have been learning a lot about how to not make the same mistakes in my next relationship as I have made in my past relationships. I’ve been learning all about healthy communication, boundaries, what to share and not to share, how to set an appropriate pace and tone for the relationship, etc. So I feel like I have a good handle on all of the mundane things I should do to optimize my chances of things working out.

But, this guy literally feels like my destiny, so I’d like to add some magick from the beginning for a little extra razzle dazzle. I think a lot of people fail in relationship magick because they use it to try to repair things after the damage is done (myself included). My guess is things would be far more effective if I employed magick from the very beginning to make our relationship as good as possible and maintain that energy throughout.

I plan on getting to know this guy and comparing him to my husband list. If he checks off my boxes (and I believe he will, I literally think I manifested him so I’m very confident), I would like for us to have a committed, long-term, monogamous relationship, and possibly marriage. I’m in my mid-30s and he’s in his mid-40s, so we’re not getting any younger. Why waste time if we’re compatible?

ASSUMING HE MATCHES MY LIST, I would like the type of relationship where he is head over heels for me and wants to commit exclusively to me quickly- like within the first month of dating. My lease on my apartment is up in 5 months- I’d like him to ask me to move in with him at that point instead of having to renew my lease or get a new place. I’d like him to propose marriage within 6 months of dating, and be married within 1 year (although marriage is not a deal breaker). I want our relationship to be harmonious and passionate, with lots of love and affection- with him loving me more than I love him, and showing me how devoted he is to me through his words as well as his actions. Basically I want this guy to be enamored with me and treat me like a Queen.

Magically speaking (or if you have any mundane advice), what can I do to maximize my chances of creating the above? I’ve quite soured on working with demons due to lack of results in many previous rituals- though I supposed I’d be open to trying, since this time around I don’t feel so dependent on results. I don’t feel I “need” to to magick to get what I want with this guy, but I think it can tip the scales even more in my favor, so this experiment is really more just for fun. I’m really into subliminals, EFT/tapping scripts, and working with Saints, but I’m open to hearing any and all advice from people who are working on are achieved something similar to what I’m looking for.

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You can do black magick to get what you want, just realize that if you don’t constantly keep him under your control he’ll eventually dump you because of how lopsided the relationship will be. If you do manage to keep him under your control, it will be because he is weak.

Maybe consider someone with sustainable boundaries who’s into BDSM.

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…

Since you managed to possibly manifest your literal dream guy with no magick, why not choose the route of continuing with manifesting your desires with no use of magick and let things develop organically. You’re not wrong for wanting the things you want in a man, so why not focus on manifesting those qualities and attributes and think of them as if they’ve already happened.

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I have no interest in doing black magic to enhance a potential relationship with this man. I didn’t mention black magick in my post, and specifically said I am not very keen to work with demons. Nor have I EVER mentioned BDSM, I’m actually disgusted by that. I’m not sure if you read my post but I’m sorry, I don’t feel your “advice” is useful.

As I explained in my post, I don’t feel the need to do magick in regards to building a nice relationship with him (IF I decide that’s what I want with him). I think it could be a fun way to play with the outcome. I don’t think it’s necessary to determine the outcome. I’m deciding to add magick to things because I think it will be fun, and it can’t hurt.

So do you have any suggestions for subliminals, EFT/tapping scripts, Saints to work with, etc. as I asked for in my post? If you don’t that’s fine, but that was the primary purpose for creating this thread.

Given your condescending tone & attitude in your reply, and in your reply to the previous poster, I have nothing else to add. I was genuine in my reply, there was no need for your snark.

Good luck to you.

Muted.

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I asked for suggestions on things like subliminals, EFT scripts, Saints to work with, etc. The previous poster ignored that, and recommended that I find a guy who is into BDSM instead. Of course I’m going to get nasty when I turn to people for genuine advice and they come out with something as outrageous, perverted, and off topic like that.

As for you, again, I asked for advice on magick I can add to my situation and your reply was basically, “Why bother?” Because I thought this forum was to SUPPORT people in trying to learn how to use magick to transform their lives.

If people don’t have advice for my situation that is totally fine, but please do not comment if you’re going to suggest I turn to BDSM, or don’t turn to magick at all.

Just because certain sexual topics make you uncomfortable doesn’t make it perverted or wrong. You should probably start with working on communication.

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You don’t use Magick just to “make it more fun” but when there’s a genuine need for change, especially if entities are involved. If the guy didn’t want to meet you or wasn’t interested in wedding it could be useful, as for now you do not know it yet. Perhaps the relationship will turn out as planned.

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Do you have a date lined up with him yet? If not, I would start there. Perhaps with a petition to Dantalion, or an archangel like Uriel or Haniel, or one of the sigils from Angels of Omnipotence. From a mundane perspective, I personally would not ask him on a date, but encourage him to ask you.

Sounds like you’ve done a good job manifesting the scenario, so make sure you’re keeping up with your happy daydreams/SATS :slight_smile:

To support yourself I would also look at angels or sigils who can help you with maintaining your own discipline and willpower. I think AoO has a few good sigils like that as well. The reason I say this is because it is very easy to become infatuated with someone, and then immediately neglect to maintain pacing and boundaries, and write off red (or orange) flags.

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Speak with the man , if it s not working , it is what it is , mudane things are for people alone.

Chill, you don’t even know this guy… what if you do some magick, you meet him and you don’t like him (could be abusive, lazy, etc)? What if he’s obsessive or controlling? You don’t know him, so you don’t know if you’ll eventually regret it.

I’m in my 30s too, and you should know by now that fairy tales are just fairy tales. If somebody committed to me within a month of knowing me, I’d find it highly suspicious and call it love-bombing. That doesn’t tend to end well.

Be realistic.

You want the perfect relationship, and that’s ok as long as you remember nobody’s 100% perfect.

My point is… it seems clear you want a relationship, not a guy. Not even that guy in particular (which you only know by name and bc he seems attractive to you).

Keep your feet on the ground to avoid disappointments. What if he’s a player? What if you go on a date with him secretly dreaming of marriage (to a total stranger!), but then he tells you he’s not looking for anything serious bc he just got divorced, and he wants to keep it casual? What if he’s not over his ex?

I would’t suggest that you do any magick on him or the situation by now. If you get to meet and agree on a date, and if there’s good chemistry and you got matching values and expectations, take at least three months to decide if this is the guy you want to keep or not. If you do, and everything’s going well, you can just do simple sweetening jars and stuff like that.

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I totally agree with your post @BloodForPoppies ! I do not think it is a good idea to use any magic to reel in a man that is a stranger that you know nothing about. If after getting to know him he is indeed everything that you want in a man then you could use magick to reel him in.

Last year I met a guy that checked off a lot of boxes on my list and I thought he was the one. This guy has since left the profession he had when I met him and has gone into a very questionable one. He also proved himself to be narcissistic. You have to take time out to know this person, he can’t just check off some boxes and you decide this must be the one and so how can I bed and wed this man as quickly as possible.

I also agree with @Veil if you do not have a date lined up or if he has shown no interest in you it would be wise to start there with some work to make yourself attractive, work to specifically catch his attention and work so you and him start dating.

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Magickal seduction Damon Brand and you should be on your way happy Magick

I got the opposite of what I intended with that one

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Thats interesting i wonder why I’ve seen the results of that twice and both times in your face within a day or two maybe someone else can or has had the same problem .

Sorry for the late response, for some reason your reply didn’t show up on my notifications.

I tried that ritual (ritual 2 from Magickal Seduction) at the beginning of a relationship, to turn it into something stable when everything was already going well, and it went downhill from there.

Maybe if I hadn’t done anything “magickal,” it would’ve worked out just fine.