Spirits may be trying to force me back to magick. Help plz

So I guess the only question now is. Human or spirit.

[quote=“SorinMarkov, post:1, topic:8831”]Hey there people.

No matter what I do, how much effort I put in, its always shit.

So here’s what I’m thinking: since my nature is so flaky, could it be that some spirit is purposefully fucking everything up for me to a) get me to come back to magick for some reason or another by creating a situation where I simply have no choice. And b) teach me to stick to things. Seems plausible since demons have a reputation of being assholes when they want you get something trough your thick skull.[/quote]

I feel the place that you’re in and how fucked you feel… : (

When you were practicing magick did you ever evoke Lilith?

[quote=“SorinMarkov, post:16, topic:8831”][quote=“Ferunt, post:14, topic:8831”]I had a similar problem but what happened was I was leaving rituals open instead of closing with the LBRP because i thought they didn’t work. Big mistake lol

On the other hand I’ve had horrible things happen which pushed me to contact Lucifer and torture some people because I was tempted to and I’m not shy of getting my hands bloody when it comes to evil people, then when he showed up I realised that’s what his plan was all along, be careful what you wish for, it just might come true!

Also alot of academics are high up magicians and if you let on your are into this stuff they might see you as a threat because you aren’t a initiate of their group, another hard lesson I learned.[/quote] No open rituals in my case. Lucifer started showing up only for the last couple of days and even so, Im not really ready to be contacting the prince of darkness if I cant even hear what hes saying yet. So first Im gonna work with mercury for my astral senses when I have time. And also no reason for me to believe theres some sort of magician group at my place, nor do I give myself away as a magician. But thanks for your insight.[/quote]
he started appearing?

to Ozraga
Yes, though whatever it is, its intentions dont seem malicious according to my reading.

to Serenna
Thank you for your sympathy. No I have never evoked Lilith, why are you asking?

to Dragon Crow
Yes, sorry. By appearing I mean his name creeping into conversations and showing up on the internet which made me research him on the forum here.

[quote=“SorinMarkov, post:24, topic:8831”]to Serenna
Thank you for your sympathy. No I have never evoked Lilith, why are you asking?[/quote]

Be aware I’m a total nube. Just been into magick since May. I use a pendulum a lot in divining. What I was getting was that Lilith wanted to speak with you…

Well thank you very much for your help. This gives me something to look into. Of course my top priority is to get my astral hearing working at least, before I can follow up on any of this. Out of curiosity, since pendulum is a yes/no type of deal, how did you know to ask about Lilith specifically? Did you name spirits at random or felt some sort of guidance towards asking about her?

I knew that you were going to ask that! Lol.

It’s somewhat as you say. The yes/no thing isn’t as limiting as you think. Human. Spirit. no. yes. I did name quite a few spirits. Lilith only yes. And, yes, I did feel some guidance towards asking about asking about her. It went somewhat further than that. About school. No. About your family. yes. About what is going on in general. yes. Do I need to ask you any more questions. no.

I knew that you were going to ask that! Lol.

It’s somewhat as you say. The yes/no thing isn’t as limiting as you think. Human. Spirit. no. yes. I did name quite a few spirits. Lilith only yes. And, yes, I did feel some guidance towards asking about asking about her. It went somewhat further than that. About school. No. About your family. yes. About what is going on in general. yes. Do I need to ask you any more questions. no.[/quote] Thanks this is huge help, Ill have to do some more divination to double confirm it and get some details. How my family fits into my problems I have no clue, unless its supposed to be taken as a metaphor. Also I cant even imagine what Lilith of all spirits would want with me lol. Though I wouldnt put past her to mess with me to get my attention, from what Ive heard she can be quite playful like that.

; )

:wink: indeed.

Alright my vision is a little blurry at the moment of writing this and my thoughts are jumbled, so keep that in mind if this feels disjointed.
So I just performed some sigil magick contacting Lucifer and Lilith. My divinations showed that Lucifer could help me with my problems and that Lilith just wanted me to contact her in general. So I started with Lucifer and just as I entered t/g sync I felt his presence instantly. It felt grandiose for a lack of better explanation. So I gazed at the sigil, making my wish so to speak and I lose it for a moment. I start wondering if Im just sitting in a dark room staring at a piece of paper like an idiot and decide to recollect myself. So I close my eyes and sit up straight, and see almost blindingly bright white light. Now disclaimer: room was dark, but I was sitting in front of a window and street light gave some illumination, enough to see the sigil, but not enough to be so blinding that I have to open my eyes instantly. So I return to gazing, envision my outcome, voice the request and put the sigil where I keep my magick related stuff. Also forgot to mention that I was like really trying to charge the sigil good, cuz the outcome is really important for me and while I was envisioning my goal I out of nowhere remembered that Lucifer likes to be straight to the point, almost as if Lucifer himself wanted to tell me “alright I get it dude”.
So anyway, that was Lucifer, but things got real interesting with Lilith. So I start gazing at her sigil, not really expecting anything apart making contact and seeing what she wants with me. After a few minutes I start feeling this energy around that made me feel really relaxed, kinda like laying next to a lover and then I felt this taste in my mouth, almost like blood, but a little sweeter. So I gaze a little more and then I just start calling out in my mind to her using thoughts. What I didnt expect is to get a response. I also heard her laughing I believe before we started conversing. Responses were almost instantaneous and it was clearly my thoughts and then Liliths responses, no background noise, which is unusual, because my mind is usually a jumbled mess. Now Im going to paraphrase, because I didnt write anything down since I was in a trance while staring at her sigil.
Me: can you hear me?
Lilith: yes darling (in a playful tone)
Me: can you show me a sign of your presence?
Lilith: is the taste of blood not enough for you?
Me: what do you want with me?
Lilith: take my sigil carry it with you?
Me: why?
Lilith: youll know when the opportunity presents itself to use it
Me: and after that?
Lilith: contact me when you think the time is right, be prepared for experimentation (or something like that)
Now keep in mind the conversation wasnt as smooth as it might seem on text. It was like speaking with someone on the phone with really shit connection. Now after a half an hour I still feel her presence faintly and by body feel really tense.
Now I post this as an update, but I also wouldnt mind some reassurance that I didnt have a conversation with myself just now. I mean I still havent worked on my astral senses, so can a spirit of such a strength as Lilith just force herself in your mind telepathically?
Sorry again for this broken post, but I dont have time to edit it since I have to go to sleep.

That’s how it pretty much always works for me. Lilith didn’t have to “force” anything. She was invited. Lol. It’s just MHO but I think that most spirits prefer this method of communication. It probably is more natural to them and requiring less energy…

Wishing you all the best…you need a break…I think that things are going much better for you from this point…

Sorry, I didn’t mean to be confusing. I used to be Tami1210 on the forum. Upon taking on a spirit name I changed my screen name to Serenna. Sorry, didn’t mean to confuse…

Just sent you a PM. :slight_smile:

That’s how it pretty much always works for me. Lilith didn’t have to “force” anything. She was invited. Lol. It’s just MHO but I think that most spirits prefer this method of communication. It probably is more natural to them and requiring less energy…

Wishing you all the best…you need a break…I think that things are going much better for you from this point…[/quote] Yeah, but I really didnt expect anything so when she seemingly started talking back it took me by surprise to say the least. Of course the work is just beginning, but at least now I got spirits behind my back.
Anyway, thank you for your kind words, I certainly hope things are gonna get better now.

My tendency would be to again evoke Belial - when in a lucid state. Use the QBX and clear the area first. You need to be clear about your intent, or otherwise the ritual can dissolve into mush. The clearer the intent, and the spirit you are working with, the better. There is always a danger of over-thinking.

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Dropping by for a quick update and a resolution to my post. So since my last post, most of my problems were solved with the help of Lucifer. Also Lilith is helping me with my personal development. So I want to thank them both in a public manner, as well as all of you, who offered advice.

That’s great news, I was wondering how you were doing.

Thanks for updating us. :slight_smile:

I was going to suggest Archangel Magick / Pauline Art which is what I’m totally into now but looks like you found a solution!