Spirits may be trying to force me back to magick. Help plz

Hey there people.

So I’ve got myself in a bit of a pickle. For a good while now I’ve been suffering a spectacular run of bad luck in pursuing my degree. Bad as in every situation that concerns my studies, ends in the worst case scenario. No matter what I do, how much effort I put in, its always shit. Apart from the times, when I get taunted with being close to getting the desirable result, but not close enough. Now I would think that I’m just stupid, except I know I am not, since I’ve excelled at everything I have put my mind to, up to this point. Not only that, it seemed as if I was born with a horseshoe up my ass, to the point where basically no situation in life was beyond fucked for me. Back when I was an angsty teenager (the good old days lol) I just stopped going to school for something like two years… Like at all. Didn’t get expelled and passed almost every test and exam with highest marks. Everything was little to no effort for me, like some unseen force was covering my ass at all points. So I’m not really used to getting fucked this hard and not being able to do jack shit about it. At first I thought its just real life hitting me, but now its just ridiculous. Yesterday, me and my mate were analyzing one of my many failed exams and came to the conclusion that it was, statistically, very unlikely for me to fail. All of this has started to break me as a person and whats worse than a bruised ego is that, at this current state, I’m gonna get booted from my university by February.

There are many things I want to pursue in life, but I always am very on and off with them, since I’m still figuring myself out and was never able to balance everything at once. This also includes magick, as well as my current predicament with my university, because I kinda gave up on it at a point and was unable to set things straight since. When it comes to magick, I always viewed it as more of a problem solver(with varying results) than a lifes path. So I return to it, then go off to other things then return again. But for a while I was sort of purposefully avoiding it and trying to do things on my own, instead of going to cry to demons for help. I have this thing that I really hate asking for help, since I have this belief that I only really can trust myself. Every time I do ask for help, it feels like a failure for me to be independent. So here’s what I’m thinking: since my nature is so flaky, could it be that some spirit is purposefully fucking everything up for me to a) get me to come back to magick for some reason or another by creating a situation where I simply have no choice. And b) teach me to stick to things. Seems plausible since demons have a reputation of being assholes when they want you get something trough your thick skull.

Now you all are probably thinking why I dont just go and ask someone whats going on? Well since I’m really still a novice magician and my astral senses are shit I’m basically astral planes equivalent of a blind, deaf cow on ice. The situation is too serious and time sensitive for me to get any solid answers in a time frame I have. So now, ironically, I have to publicly plead for help. So I guess what I’m asking is, if any of you good people who are performing evocations regularly, would be willing to drop a question to a spirit you are working with on my behalf about this situation, it would really help me out a great deal. For the purpose of guidance I should disclose that the spirit that I’ve had the most contact with is King Belial. I have always felt a strong connection with him maybe, because I’m studying law. I dont even know really, just always viewed him as a mentor. Also now for the past two days the name Lucifer creeps into my life a lot, though I have never been in contact with him. Of course I am interested in any answers any spirits have, just maybe those two are somehow connected to this. So any help would be deeply appreaciated.

Anyway thanks for reading through this mess, hope you all are doing way better than I am. :smiley:

Question, did you make any promises to Belial or another spirit and have not gone through with it?

Was going to ask the same thing.

Have you made any agreements of any kind with any spirit that you have failed to uphold the terms of? Thats the first question that needs answering. After that, more deduction can be done, but theres no need if the answer to that question is in the positive.

No, not that I know of. When I promise something to a spirit I try to deliver as soon as possible and I haven’t made any long term promises.

I can’t promise anything in terms of time-frames because I’m mind-bogglingly behind on some work this week, but when I next have time and am not immersed in something I’ll ask Belial what he has to say on this. Meanwehile hopefully you’ll get some other answers on here, and also, there’s a method of getting Yes/No answers offered by Tarot.com, I outlined the basic spread they use here.

If you don’t have a Tarot deck, use playing cards and look up (or intuit) what to substitute for the Wheel Of Fortune which denotes the answer.

Thank you Lady Eva. I do realize how busy you are being a mod and all, so no rush. I really appreciate you taking the time to help. I do have a tarot deck and will be getting to divination as soon as possible. Thanks again.

you say your astral senses are shit eh? you tried cheating yet?

make sigils to increase your astral perception and anything else you find lacking within yourself.

Mercury is the initiator. but he’s also a THIEF and a CHEATER.
the magician is an occupation governed by Mercury…SO CHEAT THE SYSTEM :slight_smile:

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I mean I was planning on playing fairly, but when you put it that way… :smiley:
Anyway thanks for a good advice. Got a feeling I’m gonna need to get them working soon, while dealing with this stuff.

[quote=“WiseManEcho, post:7, topic:8831”]you say your astral senses are shit eh? you tried cheating yet?

make sigils to increase your astral perception and anything else you find lacking within yourself.

Mercury is the initiator. but he’s also a THIEF and a CHEATER.
the magician is an occupation governed by Mercury…SO CHEAT THE SYSTEM ^__^[/quote]
i can vouch for the fact that it works. i used it when i first started out and i still use it. works like a charm

Just a thought. Have you pissed anyone off or dose someone have a grudge or ax to grind with you?

A grudge? Nooo… I’m a real people person lol! No, but seriously, thought has crossed my mind, yet no badass curse throwing nemesis came to mind. I haven’t pissed off anyone recently and even if I had they were no practitioners.

Have you considered that it could just be some creature from the astral. I had a case a few months back where someone was convinced that they were being tormented by asmoday.
I had a look and it turned out to be an astral creature causing a bit of Mischief. Killed the thing in the crossroads and the guys problems vanished.

That’s possible too. Its hard for me to verify anything personally, because of my inexperience. It really could be anything fucking with me. I just feel someone putting sticks in my wheels, so to speak. And all the problems seem to center around my university, that’s why I drew that parallel, between studies and magick, since I abandoned both for a time. It also seems like a lesson, not just straight up attempt to fuck me over. Realistically with a a lot of effort and a little bit of luck I could recover, so doesn’t seem to me like this is a spirit who has just chaos on its mind.

I had a similar problem but what happened was I was leaving rituals open instead of closing with the LBRP because i thought they didn’t work. Big mistake lol

On the other hand I’ve had horrible things happen which pushed me to contact Lucifer and torture some people because I was tempted to, then when he showed up I realised that’s what his plan was all along, so you could be getting called back if that’s how you feel it played out, in my case Lucifer is the ultimate adversary, everything in life is a test, you need to see challenges as something to be overcome because you will be the better for it even if when faced with certain things it doesn’t seem fair.!

Also alot of academics are high up magicians and if you let on your are into this stuff they might see you as a threat because you aren’t a initiate of their group, another hard lesson I learned.

An other thought. Could be a practitioner that you don’t know of that might hold jealousy tords you. Like they say not everything is always as it appears.

[quote=“Ferunt, post:14, topic:8831”]I had a similar problem but what happened was I was leaving rituals open instead of closing with the LBRP because i thought they didn’t work. Big mistake lol

On the other hand I’ve had horrible things happen which pushed me to contact Lucifer and torture some people because I was tempted to and I’m not shy of getting my hands bloody when it comes to evil people, then when he showed up I realised that’s what his plan was all along, be careful what you wish for, it just might come true!

Also alot of academics are high up magicians and if you let on your are into this stuff they might see you as a threat because you aren’t a initiate of their group, another hard lesson I learned.[/quote] No open rituals in my case. Lucifer started showing up only for the last couple of days and even so, Im not really ready to be contacting the prince of darkness if I cant even hear what hes saying yet. So first Im gonna work with mercury for my astral senses when I have time. And also no reason for me to believe theres some sort of magician group at my place, nor do I give myself away as a magician. But thanks for your insight.

[quote=“Ozraga, post:15, topic:8831”]An other thought. Could be a practitioner that you don’t know of that might hold jealousy tords you. Like they say not everything is always as it appears.[/quote] Could be, but in my case its really doubtful. Unless someone is a really good actor, but you know we magicians are kind of easy to spot if someone is looking close enough and I have an eye for details. Also I dont think I gave anyone a reason to be jealous.

Sometimes someone doesn’t need a reason to be, they just are.

Sometimes someone doesn’t need a reason to be, they just are.[/quote] Yeah, truer words never been spoken brother. But I sincerely doubt its the case with my problem.

Alright update time:

Did some divination. Asked book of fate if Ill recover from all the bullshit and it told me basically not to worry and that “my spirits will soon be buoyed up by prosperity”. So I guess theres that.
Also did Lady Eva’s Yes/No spread. Funny thing about this is that I really didnt formulate my question in my head before picking and shuffling all the cards. I only had a basic outline of “is the cause of my problems magickal in origin”, but kinda still rolled with it assuming the cards know. I remembered that EA always says that if there is no question you can shuffle the cards forever and since I distinctly felt the “stop” moment I continued. So what I got is Wheel of fortune in yes position, two of cups in yes, maybe, ace of swords in no, maybe and knave of cups in no.
So basically what I gather from this is that: a) problems are of magickal nature, possibly with some sort of partnership prospect (two of cups) b) it wasnt entirely because of my lack of will and definitely not because of my lack of skill. So it seems that if my reading was correct, knowing Im no expert, someone is fucking with me to get my attention.