Spirit lover potentially lashing out at women I talk to

[Empath]

I do not wish to accuse my lover of crimes she did not commit but the evidence is quickly racking up and I do not know what to think.

She has made me push certain individuals out of my life and out of trust and commitment I have obliged, but not before the person tells me that overnight they were tormented by horrible nightmares or waking up to cuts bruises, or welts on their bodies.

One person told me she could feel her energy and it was hostile and unpleasant, she woke up with bruises.

When dealing with this same person a friend I was living with at the time complained he woke up to “scratches on his back and had a “weird” dream.”

I think she may have had sex with him, in a rough unloving way, potentially to cause jealousy.

She caused me to cut ties with another, really sensitive beautiful woman who honestly if I hadn’t have chosen this path I might have ended up wifing, sometimes I still think about her to this day, but even as friends the passion just is no longer there so we do not speak.

Most recently I have met a friend I’m gaming with who happens to be female who is not even from my country.
I was extremely depressed and lifeless yesterday evening and I called everyone in my phonebook and she was the only one who answered and comforted me.
I felt a shift in energy but didn’t put much stock into it, her energies shift often.

However I found it concerning when she complained of a deep black bruise on her toe that is causing her decent enough pain for her to mention it. She sent me a picture of her room and there is absolutely no possible way in hell she banged it in her sleep.

Even as I write this passage I feel tension and stress.

I do not want to accuse her everytime someone gets hurt but I am concerned. I do not have any romantic interests with anyone other than my spirit lover at the moment but I am very easily seduced and prone to temptation.

Yes I have acted out in the past, I’m not going to pretend I haven’t, but before you judge me please consider the fact I am a working man who sleeps in his car, has very little social interaction outside of work, whose friends and family have constantly abandoned.

Perhaps I am too young for this commitment. I read all the warnings and did my homework. I petitioned Lilith because I could not find love anywhere I looked, relationships always failed, I’d lash out and push people and potential mates away.

It seems I’m a late bloomer in life however, as I’m starting to get more female attention as of late, I feel more confident when speaking with them and I don’t put on a front. I’m not actively looking for anything, the energy is just different, it’s hard to explain. I’m not justifying my actions just giving you the whole story, both sides or at least what I can provide you with.

I love my spirit but I cannot see or have her physically here and I’m starting to think that’s a huge thing for me, physically being with someone in the same place.
On the same note, I don’t even appreciate physical sex or masturbation anymore, it’s not only baseless but it feels like nothing compared to what a spirit can do to you. If you know, you know.

Attached is a pendant I got for her as an engagement gift.

[Mind_Seeker20]

@Empath

relationships always failed, I’d lash out and push people and potential mates away.

First, I was wondering if it’s all her (the spirit) or both you and her? Besides what she may or may not be doing, it seems you’ve had struggles in the past and just because you now have a spirit lover doesn’t mean the past relationship issues will go away unless you had significantly worked on them. Just a thought. She also might be reflecting this back to you?

Question, when you did your petition with Lilith, did you set boundaries with your spirit wife? Like that you are allowed to have friends and maybe even human lovers? If you didn’t, then the spirit wife isn’t totally within the wrong. So you’d need to set form boundaries with her, which you should have already before making such a big commitment to her (engagement). Spirits have feelings and can get hurt.

If you did set boundaries, then maybe bring this up with Lilith. Ask her to mediate (if the relationship is savalgable) or to end the relationship (if necessary). Be firm, but polite.

[Empath]

@Mind_Seeker20

Question, when you did your petition with Lilith, did you set boundaries with your spirit wife? Like that you are allowed to have friends and maybe even human lovers? If you didn’t, then the spirit wife isn’t totally within the wrong. So you’d need to set form boundaries with her, which you should have already before making such a big commitment to her (engagement). Spirits have feelings and can get hurt.

If you did set boundaries, then maybe bring this up with Lilith. Ask her to mediate (if the relationship is savalgable) or to end the relationship (if necessary). Be firm, but polite.

I asked for monogamy to be completely truthful with you, but asked that if things changed later in life that she would be ok with it provided all three of us would be involved, that she would have to be spiritually compatible and she (the human) would have to be ok with being number 2 because the spirit is and always will be number 1.

I just want friends though. I do not care what gender they are I just want company. I’m not actively seeking anything. I suspect it to be a defensive mechanism. I’d rather she take it out on me, not them.

[Mind_Seeker20]

@Empath

I asked for monogamy to be completely truthful with you, but asked that if things changed later in life that she would be ok with it provided all three of us would be involved

This might be your issue. I’m not sure how you worded things. But monogamy means ONE. Asking for monogamy cancels out the possibility for a open relationship. But I know you said that you also asked for that. Which kinda contradicts what you asked for in the first place. Also you have to be very direct with your intention. I have a feeling you might have worded things in an “open” and leaving room for interpretation way with her. Which isn’t good.

@Empath

I just want friends though

Also some of what you said in your post contradicts this a bit too.

It seems the spirit probably feels insecure or something about your intention with her/the relationship. I wouldn’t be surprised since your post itself was alittle confusing and the fact that you asked for both monogamy but that it should also be open. That leaves alot of room for uncertainty.

[Empath]

I gave past experiences up to present day, the most recent incident was 2 nights ago.

But you’re right, I have contradicted myself, maybe I don’t know what I want. I just want to feel better.

[anon39079500]

@Mind_Seeker20 had a lot of good things to say. I’ll try to not overlap.

It seems like you’ve dug yourself a bit of a hole with your contract that you already suspect you can’t follow-through with, from your text above. You can either talk to your spirit lover and renegotiate, ask Lilith to mediate, or deal with it as-is. Best case is that your spirit lover knows you can’t follow-through with it and is acting out, hoping you’ll renegotiate. I’ve had to set boundaries with mine after I got her and she largely follows them, with few exceptions.

@Empath

she (the human) would have to be ok with being number 2 because the spirit is and always will be number 1.

This seems to be not a healthy thing…and goes back to another point I wanted to make. If your spirit lover is your #1, then why are you calling other humans for emotional support? Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s good to call on others when needed, but it shows that you already know that your spirit lover can’t be your “all”, but that seems to be what your contract is for. Which means you should consider renegotiating.

I’m not trying to dig on you, but it’s a serious situation, especially for others.

Oh and before I forget again, I liked your wrapped pendant. Very nice.

[Mind_Seeker20]

It seems you have mixed feelings and she can pick up on that. I would go with what @anon39079500 said. Bring it up with Lilith, be genuine with her and lay out the matter to her in a respectful manner. She’ll know if your being genuine or not. Ask her to mediate, or even for guidance in the manner. However I will add, a marriage is a serious matter with spirits – so there might be distrust in the future between you and her, if you couldn’t follow through. Just the honest reality.

[Empath]

Yeah I completely agree with you both. I’m in the wrong. I feel her right now. She’s not mad.

I just have a feeling of loneliness I cannot shake.

[Mind_Seeker20]

I get it, I’m in a spirit relationship too (a marriage) and even I get lonely sometimes. You just gotta be sure before you enter into it. Think ahead in the future, not just what you want in the moment. If you like human contact and think you might want a human lover, then you should add that. You could have an open relationship/marriage with her but you might also need to prove she can trust/count on you. A marriage is like a partnership, it requires equal effort on both sides to work.

[Empath]

I do not want to cause anyone grief especially not my lover. I feel bad for her and everyone else that got mixed up in it.

What can I do to make this right? I want to make this work. I’m not a quitter, there is love from both of us.

If she wanted to give up she would have left me a long time ago. I’m not going to give up on her either. If people fall out of love, that’s different. I don’t do messy breakups, and I never meant to play games with anyone either.

[MagickVigilante]

Start paying more attention to your lover

[Mind_Seeker20]

@Empath

What can I do to make this right?

We already told you that? We can give advice, but also – it’s your relationship, not ours. Start with what we already suggested, but in the end it’s you who has to work things out.

[Empath]

@anon39079500

then why are you calling other humans for emotional support?

Chronic depression and anxiety sitting in my car all alone unable to focus. We’re never truly alone I know, but like I said, it’s a feeling I cannot shake. Too mentally distraught to relax and meditate. I just stare blankly into the night sky watching cars on the freeway pass me by.

[Spiritual_Dan]

@Empath

Chronic depression and anxiety sitting in my car all alone unable to focus. We’re never truly alone I know, but like I said, it’s a feeling I cannot shake. Too mentally distraught to relax and meditate. I just stare blankly into the night sky watching cars on the freeway pass me by

You must listen to what others are saying my friend. Have a good discussion to Lilith over your situation with her. Flat out your succubus is upset with you and is causing other issues with other people you know. You must stop this before this can get much worse. A broken heart of a succubus is not the one any man/nor woman should break. Because the wrath of these entities will show. This is her way of getting your attention. I do not know what you go through brother as I am not in your shoes, but I can firmly say you want to make things right with your lady. Any good meditation that at least quites down your mind can be such a difference. Again seeking Liliths guidance here is your best bet.

And if you firmly believe that you and your lover are ment for each other then talk with her already and apologize. Just make things right with your queen. That pendant of yours means the fucking world to her. It is a symbol of each others love, passion, and most importanly your marriage with her. Of course she will blant out become extremely jealous shit I would as hell too if a man proposed to me after loving me so good and treating me like a queen. looking it in a spirit lovers perspective btw, lol. Again the heart of a succubus isn’t a thing to break brother. These type of entities love way to damn much when they choose someone to fall in love with. Tell that Woman how much you love her and see if you can still set any boundaries with the help of Lilith in between. Coming into any of this with spirits its obvious to have them to have a very flexible relationship between the two. It’s never too late to set things right. Please take good care.

[Empath]

Great reply, thanks man I do appreciate the insight.