Sometimes I just want to quit and walk away from it all

Family got a message and yanked me away, and cut off my forms of communication and by then he was on a vengeance path so I didn’t want to go back.

The message was more divine.

Found out recently bad things happened to the people he used against me 2 months later. But it is what they deserve :woman_shrugging:.

Also I think out souls are still connected.

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I found my time in a coven was my most fantastically strong spell work. Strength in numbers. It was without boundaries. An alchemist, a spiritualist, a rootworker, a chaos witch, a thelemic. We just had such momentum when we worked together. My ex til this day doesnt bother me and this motherfucker was A-BU-SIVE. But we bound him. Distance was an issue for us but we made it work. We synchronized time and sometimes calls at certain hours or Skype sessions. It’s possible for those of us who care.

Wow.
So instead of defending your view on things (which got CLEARLY challenged by someone who doesn’t see life or its contradictions with a filter) in a manner that either supports your point of view or that invites a constructive debate you decide to fake-mock and “diagnose” someone with an illness that is a harsh reality for other people and that is not ROFL LMAO for the ones who are ACTUALLY fighting this kind of condition day in, day out. Respect.
This thread is an opportunity for other members to find a way to deal with this conclusion:

And you are basically walking around and telling people that they look too deep into things and that they don’t try hard enough to love life despite XY and that they only need enough self-esteem. This is the kind of shit that I’ve cancelled out of my life because of its superficial nature and toxic approach towards other peoples struggle. I really hope that your life is easy enough to be hold together by enough self-esteem and “feeling your power”, mate.

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Coming back to THIS conclusion:

No, its not. ESPECIALLY the part where your efforts are showing success because in my experience practicing the art comes with the price of “understanding” and knowing your own BS and your own contradictions that you carried through life as a protection mechanism.
At some point this protection mechanism and “veil” got ripped away from you and you discover things and gain knowledge you’d rather not have at all.

I’ve been through the “doubting your abilities” phase and I’ve been through lengths of “I can’t do this anymore” moments, where all of my hidden and ugly truths have been brought to plain daylight (its part of the deal, I would think).
Success doesn’t equal instant happiness. It makes you dig deeper and it makes you find a lot of rather unpleasant things about yourself, your surroundings, your construct of safety.
As miraculous as some practical outcomes are to the outside world and the watching eye: it robs you off your delusions and your concepts about what you think you are. And I don’t think that everybody can handle that.

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Why are you so sure of yourself when looking at context? There’s no guarantee for anything buddy lol

How is it “blind”, exactly?

Possibly because there is no support to be given to someone with depression, especially if it has been obtained as a byproduct of existential investigation? That conclusion has been reached through logic and honesty; there is no explaining or reasoning it away. Whereas your out of touch, self-help, can-do attitude and “solutions” can be torn down in minutes.

The only temporary fix that can stave off the depression is being in the company of another who is the same way or copious amounts of drugs and alcohol (limiting consciousness). But the only cure is suicide, logically speaking.

I don’t “try”, and I never said that life is “shit”, I said that it isn’t alright. “Shit” implies that I hate life when I do not. Life is not alright because our place within it is an error. We are a supernatural and accidental extension of nature because we are conscious of the pointlessness of all the strife and suffering in existence, and we are conscious of death, as opposed to every other organism in existence which is not. We are strangers in this world, an anomaly that plants its roots in foreign soil, successfully subjugates every species that was here before it, and then exalts itself as supreme ruler. Do you not find it odd that no other species can rival man in ferocity and intelligence yet every other animal is food for another?

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I think you should turn to Buddhism not nihilism. You are very focused on trying to pick apart phrases like a pedantic linguist. I’m waiting for the part where you decipher my words, that have came from a relatively relevant place as many on here. On some posts I express my woes like a cry baby. You need to be flexible, because when you bend, YOU BREAK! :smile:

That’s not odd at all, how is it?

Nihilism is Buddhism, essentially. They both believe in nothingness.

You can’t decipher that which has no meaning.

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If we have no other species to rival or conquer us in ability can we honestly say that we are part of nature’s holistic system? And why is it that humanity is responsible for…let’s say, the extinction of the Tasmanian tiger (as well as many others), when prior to our error of birth it was only mass extinctions which were able to do this? Surely if we were a part of nature’s deliberate design we would have had a rival species by now that would ensure that there wouldn’t be billions of us overpopulating the planet?

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Pretty much feel exactly how you do. Having been to a dark place where…I’m not going to say here. And then questioning myself daily, hating myself daily yet not changing or feeling like it’s possible to even do that then realizing iv spent the last 14 years being in a constant cycle of being miserable not being able to climb out of that pit because the only way out is a rickety old ladder that’s just going to break half way up causing me to fall back down with multiple injuries…just doesn’t help at all.

Lately I haven’t had the motivation or the alone time to practice my rituals. Work has gotten in the way of my advancement, but I know that it’s my fault for not managing my time well.

I’ve felt like I’m at a stand still right now, and I’m not sure what I’ve really accomplished in this last year.

I mean, everything in my life went from being absolutely horrible to overwhelmingly amazing. I’m not denying that magicka has made me do a complete 180.

But what else do I want? What more should I take from life? I spent my entire life ONLY wishing for happiness. I desperately wanted to be happy and not suicidal

Now that I have that, I’m not sure what to do.

I know I want to develop my astral senses and memorize the rituals I should already know.

I never really did the LBRP or things like that – I always thought they were about controlling demons and I didn’t like that. Lately I’ve been reading about how that isn’t the case, and I’m left confused and unsure.

I guess I just don’t know what I want anymore, or what I’m aiming for. I had a concrete goal, and now that I’ve accomplished that, what else is there?

I know that I can always improve. I’m not perfect. There are many ways I can fine tune myself to be closer to my higher self, and I’m trying to work on that.

I keep doubting how real this all is. It’s wearing me down.

I haven’t even read the other comments, but I will tell you that all magicians and Sorcerers that are truly starting to rise to power eventually have the moment where they say that they’re completely Fed Up and done with it all.

Take some time and let the ashes fall where they may. This is a good thing oh, but don’t give up on the pad just yet.

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You’re right, and most of us here know it, but it’s always hard to go through. I’m glad you stopped by to point it though, in case someone didn’t it get it-since there is arguing now within the thread that should take itself elsewhere.

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Yanno and you think if you could just get 1 win, 1 measly little thing that goes your way then it could empower and motivate you but noooo it’s just 1 big slap in the face with a wet cod after another

@angelb1083 You are needed dear. You are the first person on this forum that I had an innate respect for, for no other reason then the fact that your energy commanded it from me. The only explination is that you are my BALG Mama Bear!

When I first arrived you (gently) scolded me for spilling my BS into the TMW thread and I immediately apologized (in my own way, lol) and moved along. Mama Bear got me in line! Haha.:sweat_smile:

I have been a bit distracted with life so I didn’t even realize we were in a retrograde. I kept having problems with packages (my damn ebike, my cupping set, and my crystal points) not arriving on time or getting partial deliveries. I shed actual tears of frustration when my bike was delivered to Hawaii after a month long transit :cry:.

Until I read this post I was like wtf life! Why!? Why does my shit keep going haywire!? Now I realize what is going on and I don’t feel alone anymore.

Thank you for this thread angelb :hugs::kissing_closed_eyes:

Thank you they’re great points I must admit. I only hope my “out of touch” help will be touching, I’m quitting this job when I’m closer to the age of 30 to do counselling. Take care! :smile:

I can tell misery loves it company for you, but don’t construe people’s words into a product being sold. A suicidal person would rather hear positives and encouraging words than downplayed and outright harsh truths of this reality. You are under a very depressive illusion.

Anywhere near Ewa?

I have no idea what you are referring to by, Ewa.

Kindly elaborate…?

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