I’m honestly not sure what’s going on and I haven’t noticed anything was wrong with me until my cousin brought it to my attention. A few years back I told my cousin she was going to get syphilis and I kept repeating it throughout the year. I never said it on purpose but I just said it out of the blue and when we would jokingly come for one another I would say it like I knew it was so. I told her, one day one of her boyfriends would be gay and now her ex is asking if she wants to do anal…that doesn’t mean he’s gay but she has her mind set on him being gay now because in her mind anal=gay.
I used to think about my uncle dying not because I’m a psycho or something but that’s just what my mind occasionally went to on some of my off days. He would just be standing somewhere and just drop dead and that’s all that would happen. He didn’t die a horrible way he just died.
I wouldn’t say he was perfectly healthy due to the drugs he used(not meth or coke) but he was 34 and lived like we all did just to die in our living room from a heart attack in a fetal position on the floor. Now I can’t stop thinking about how he’d just drop to the ground in those dream like states as if he had a heart attack.
It doesn’t begin or end with them either but I think you get my drift. I’m not going to lie though, I sometimes did wish death and those horrible things upon them but it doesn’t mean I wanted it to happen. Could it be possible that something’s manifesting these things or maybe I am? Sorry about about that long ass rant, it just kinda caught me off guard and made me feel indifferent about myself when she blasted me with that.