I’ve seen some interest in this pick up recently and so I thought maybe it would be helpful if I put myself out there a little more. I’ve been really hesitant to talk about this and when I have it’s been under a kind of psuedo name and sort of coded. I just didn’t know how well this would be received. I understand it’s very controversial and I wanted to side step that controversy and explore the forum.
I’m still going to make this short as entertaining and light hearted as possible. The real truth of the matter is that this wasn’t very hilarious for me. It was often quite frightening and my world took a really dark turn. It’s certainly not a short story as this relationship has been going on for a year and four months now.
Warning: If you prefer having a perception of angels as sweet cuddly and made of cotton candy don’t read this this isn’t for you.
If you are able to see past religious dogma and are ok with the possibility of them having sex drives and genitalia and seriously wondering if it’s possible to pick one up as a lover then read on
How it started
So I was involved with a pretty intense yoga program at the time. Seems unrelated except I’ve always been empathic and yoga can also awaken even more psychic senses. I had worked consistently with Apollo since my teen years even if I did nothing more than acknowledge him as a guardian and allow him to be there. At the same time I became very interested in jungian shadow work to heal and control the subconscious in order to manifest more of my goals. So I had a dream where Apollo met up with me in my old childhood bedroom and took me through the mirror. On the other side of the mirror was a room with a table and some chairs. Waiting for us was a tall man with long jet black hair and silver eyes.
Instantly I thought he was incredibly attractive. I had never seen anyone or anything like him. His eyes were hypnotic and seem to have a hold over me. Apollo left us alone so we could talk. The man took me outside on a nature walk. He told me very specifically he was king of this realm and he ate souls.
Looking back I guess this was his idea of small talk. “So I’m from florida I work as a teacher and I enjoy tacos”
Except this entity’s idea of small talk was horrifying! It was clear he held all the power and I did not really care for the idea of my soul being eaten. So I ran away. Turns out he could run a heck of a lot faster than I could. He captured me and took me to his bedroom where I found myself face to face with him very much naked. He was the most intense passionate lover I’ve ever had sex with. He said some dark and cryptic stuff while having sex that I deffinetly wondered about the meaning of later.
Still I totally looked past it because he was freaking hot and damn that was a fun night!
_Who he was _
Long story short I found out he was Archangel Raphael and had a real freak out moment. I was very much convinced he was a demon and was seriously considering banishing him as he did not take the news I was already married very well. (To be fair he never asked me and I didn’t think about disclosing that info to a spirit I sometimes wondered if it was even real or I was going crazy)
After some very real attempts on my husband’s life. (I did say he did not take the news very well) I put limits and restrictions on him and flat out told him leave my husband alone and respect my rules or leave.
He decided to stay and work with me. In fact he seemed impressed I was even willing to tell him to hit the road and offered me a contract.
Sex in exhange for protection and an opportunity to learn magic.
So I get to have sex with a really hot guy and learn magic?? Sold! Sign me up! What downside??
“Hold still while I brand you”
“You’re gonna do what now?? Holy crap that fucking hurts!!”
By now Apollo was thoroughly confused and kind of pissed.
“Well that did not go as expected. Let’s try setting you up with some demons!”
Next thing I know I’m having a dream where I’m seated across from Azazel.
“Interesting brand you got there”
“Oh is it?”
“Yeah don’t see that very often. Listen if you want it removed I’ll step in. I can offer you the same protection. I just want to eat tiny pieces of your soul in return”
Seriously what is up with the soul eating??
“Umm no I’m good”
“Oh don’t worry really small pieces you won’t even feel them missing”
“Thank you but no thank you. I’m seriously good!”
Azazel grew obviously frustrated and wondered how Raphael got the deal in the first place? As he seemed to be contemplating his next move I called Raphael over who stood in between us and just stared him down.
The stare was enough to make Azazel leave.
It was impressive and sexy.
So what’sthe good doctor like in bed?
Amazing!!! But the dude has a serious dark side. It took me awhile to adjust to the hypnotism/mind control (he cheats when you try to have an argument! So not fair) souls for breakfast, and zombie minions.
Honestly I wasn’t even sure he was a healer at first. Raphael has introduced me to some of the darkest concepts and energies I’ve ever experienced. For example my sex life was pretty vanilla before he came along and suddenly I’m having to learn what bdsm is so I know what is expected of me.
But it’s also a part of what makes him so hot
And while I see him with much darker hair than pictured here, I was very impressed and creeped out that the artist colored his eyes silver and even put the tats on.
Is an angel lover right for me?
Seriously I’m writing this because I was alone. I groped my way through this blindly for a good year. Research concluded no one on earth would believe me in a million years. So if you’re skeptical this is truly going on in my life. I understand. I get it.
Besides it being controversial, I also learned it’s not any different than having an incubi/sucubi around.
I only have my own experience to go off here but within my experience they make fantastic lovers if you’re open to it and stop treating them like castrated priests.
The hardest adjustment for me was getting past the dogma that my relationship with him wasn’t supposed to be this way. Or that enjoyable wild sex is somehow dirty or wrong or something you can only get with a demon.
It was also difficult not just for him but for me that I was already married to a human partner. I often wondered if this was the same as having an affair and I should end it? And if it was why would a holy archangel be at all ok with me committing adultery?
It was also obvious the relationship did indeed effect my husband. Not only did Raphael attack him a few times but sometimes my husband would say this things like “Why are you smiling so much?” Or “So who or what turned you on just now?” As in ‘I don’t think it was me’
But then I really thought about what if the shoe was on the other foot? And realized I wouldn’t care.
Besides it was time I learn to be a little more selfish. I feel I’m way too young to settle for a boring vanilla sex life and it’s definetly not fair to cut off spiritual growth and ascension just to convince myself I’ve somehow done the “right thing”
And that’s just a little bit of what this experience has taught me.
It also brought me to this forum in the first place. I saw a video from balg about the positive side of having an incubus/sucubus lover and kept saying “yes yes yes! That’s exactly what it’s like!”
Still I know even here incubi and angels are seen as very different things and still I kept it to myself.
In short taking on an angelic lover is not for the faint of heart. But if you do it’s truly a rewarding experience. Nothing else like it exists and I wouldn’t trade him in for anything.
