I had a disheartening thought of what if I can’t do anything that I was told to try…you what if it doesn’t work…
I haven’t been doing any path work up til now I was told not to join any group work with no explanation…well no clear one actually…I felt like I was a bit limited on the types of things I could try as at one point I turned to the nine gate keepers path and I guess was turned down…
I asked belial about doing it and his response was…
“He babies you…”
Wasn’t the first time I have heard an entity say this actually…so now this is where I’m at…
I had a convo with Furfur…he said…
“You still have no clue do you?..”
And I’m like no I dont I’m just me you know…
And his reply was very blunt actually
“You are capable more then you give yourself credit for…I told you things to try and you started and you feel it won’t work…it’s the fear of failure and uncertainty that you carry as a burden…but you can make all things possible if you continue to try…”
I said how I feel kind of rediculous standing in the open looking at the ground with my hands out stretch to seeds I have no clue will grow…
He then had me look closer this morning and move the dirt and some of the rock around once I did I saw small baby plants that had grew within three days we’ll two days cause I planted them on Saturday evening…
To my own surprise I thought they wouldn’t grow since Texas is known for its dry dessert area and sandy soil that is no good…but they grew Abit more then what they were supposed to.
“This was a test to show you that you can indeed do the impossible as you say…if you still feel the need to doubt and throw a temper tantrum over it gather some dirt place it in a cup and put the seeds in it and work with them on the inside as well…”
He was very calm and amused so I rebuttal and said I was not throwing a temper tantrum…I clearly was not throwing a temper tantrum…
Smh
So he then laughed Abit and then proceeded to make his point.
“When we met you looked like a scared lost child…but you know you were born with many gifts that makes you very special…you have known about things that many don’t even began to understand…have felt my touch before know have heard the voice of the song bird have seen figures that no one else knows is there moved things from one place to another and make the sky weeps with your own sorrow…and this is nothing hard to do. You can achieve more then you think you can…cast away your mundane thoughts and doubts and be the little mouse I’ve known you to be”
At this point I had to think about every thing I’d experience as a kid it would always rain when ever I cried just I thought it was a coincidence I’ve been able to see hear and feel spirits as long as I could remember…I was told by one of them it was a gift I said it was a curse and pretty much use to pray to God to take them away because I hated it…hearing and seeing them feeling them scared me so much and I hated scary crap I was a cry baby when I was young and anything that scared me made me cry…
I said that has nothing to do with anything. He replied with.
“Right after we met…when I left you went back into the hospital room with your daughter what was it that you felt?”
I remember that day 10/29/2018 after I left out the bathroom I was very relaxed and calm for the first time throughout my daughter’s treatment…I stood by her crib and watched her sleep and in that moment as I smiled down at her I just felt like the ground started shaking, vibrations from all angles moving up through my feet it was nerve racking cause I’ve never felt it before I remember asking around if anyone else felt the floor shaking and getting weird looks from nurses like no…
So I told him vibrations…
“Yes the vibrations… vibrations that connects you to the earth and to our realm …the energy that flows between both places…energy you feel every day since that moment nonstop…energy that has only increased over time.”
Me being me shook my head like I have no idea what your meaning is behind this what are you even saying speak English…I didn’t say it though but I did tell him ok but still what does that have to do with anything?
“Use that energy to connect with every thing around you…when you do tht things will start to do as you please them to do…”
At this point I said no need to try n make understanding what he is saying more difficult so I took a breath and breathe on my hands slowly…I asked for advice and did what I was givin by @LadyAve
I imagine green light and pushed downward towers the little plants but I didn’t feel anything.
“Try again this evening but over where you put the sunflowers but this time I want you to relax and picture each flower you planted in your mind giving them a name…a life…a color… And stand strong planted on the ground and feel the vibrations…let them flow through you…it would be nice to see you grow them big and tall…so try to focus on this task…”
I sighed and told him I’ll try harder…it seemed like a fun task but it may take more work then I though so even though he said it’s a test I do plan to pass it…cause well im awesome like that hopefully I can get more pointers on how to make them grow quick and taller then they are supposed to…I planted a wide variety of flowers so it would be very colorful and vibrebt with life