A bit of background. I’ve been letting my inner darkness out quite a bit lately, which in itself isn’t a bad thing, except for the fact that I walk the line between the dark and the light.
So anyways, I felt the urge to sit in on a Catholic service. When I went into the church, I could feel the power that only comes from a place of worship. I thought about the holy water by the doorways, but I felt that it would have only hurt me if I touched it, so I didn’t. I found a pew not too close to the front nor back, and before going to sit, I bowed my head in acknowledgement to their symbol.
As people were coming in, it was odd, because while there were a lot of people, they all just kinda sat away from me, as if they instinctively knew I was a wolf among the sheep. So I followed along with the service, I didn’t sing or participate, just witness. Standing when everyone stands, and sitting when they all sat. I didn’t kneel though, as I kneel to nobody.
I kept a close watch on the front with my sight, and I could see the aura that their symbol (the crucifix behind the altar) was practically radiating power. And when the clergymen came through to deliver the service, I watched them with my sight. They priest had a very strong aura about him that I could see, as only a well initiated person who has been at it for a very long time could attain through worship.The others in the procession who were in their robes that symbolized their initiations had an aura too, but nowhere near as strong as the elderly priest.
When it came time for the Eucharist, I watched as the elderly priest did the rites, and his aura basically exploded out. When it did this, I felt a sudden unease about my being there, but I persevered. I didn’t dare partake of the Eucharist, opting to spectate, because not only am I not a catholic, I also felt that it would have been very bad for my health.
After all that, the priest’s aura returned to what it was before he did the rite, and the service went on. After the service, I actually spoke with the priest a little bit, and I asked him a few questions. I asked what it felt like when he was doing the rites of the Eucharist, and what he described sounded exactly like the feelings of invoking an entity and consecrating in their name, which is obvious. He described it as “concentration on the body and blood, a feeling of light flowing through me”, which sounded about right… I also talked with him a bit, told him that I wasn’t a christian myself, and that I just felt that I had to be there today. He took it with the grace and dignity one would expect actually. In the end he wished me well, and I told him “May Raphael bless you with health” and said my farewells.
It was an interesting experience, and it opened my eyes to the fact that I’ve been doing too much in the darker aspects and that I need to rebalance myself so I don’t tip off the line between the light and dark.