Short Story - Need input, thoughts, ideas and ultimately HELP

So, i ramble a bit jus to be wary…

Hello, my name is Will. It has taken me some time to figure out who or wot i truly am… Ever since i can remember a thought in my mind it has been dark or demonic or relative to wantin to learn, perform an master magik. Never have i ever doubted da presence of satan, or his minions, contrary to shuttin out bible thumpers an god an jesus altogether… Way i see it, deres a whole lot of darkness an not very much light in dis world an jus cant belie in a god aspect when deres such shit smeared across da globe… I never really lookt into it becos truthfully i didnt wanna kno da truth to wot my mind actually comes up wit til i saw a youtube video tryna figure out if i have a succubus… So da thoughts were always there… but in late 2012 i set off to buy a feline companion an named him Lucifer. From dat day forward, somethin clickt in my mind an i started feelin like i can read peoples thoughts, ideas etc an have full blown convos wit dem buh never confronted dem aboutit. I have had dis quake in my balls since den… now dont get me wrong, ive always been addicted to sex, porn an masturbation… but dis was completely different… actually feelin someone stroke rub an lick my genitals was new… odd… wonderfull… but new. So i jus kinna went wit it, figured im losin my mind or sumn… lol
I moved into dis really old house from like late 1800 or early 1900s… started figurin it might be a possession of da like, researcht dat a bit buh really didnt fit da criteria perfectly… I den started to search if a female spirit can… well… fuck me. Leading me to succubus. Ive been super sexual since i was like 9… watchin porn, imaginin girls around me naked, feelin like i have xray vision an jus doubtin myself… In later 2012, maybe a month after i got my cat, i fell at work an shattered my L4 vertebrae… bein da independant person i am i hated bein catered to by nurses an doctors an jus completely hated myself, depression an wot not cos i couldnt walk nor use my dick… I am/was so used to gettin off dat release as soon i was able to get hard… i did… catheter in my body an all, i released time an time again… throughout da past 2-3 years ive had dem crasy thoughts an visions about people, relations, an jus str8 sex… I used to smoke weed a lot, buh recently whenever i do, i feel pain, in my back an leg dat was more fuckt up when i fell… so i rarely smoke anymore… though it is more enlightened when i feel sexually aroused an get rode by said “succubus” da pain i experience now is jus not worth my while… Its prolly also worth mentionin im not myself when i am fuckin, i am an old friend, he is buff, got a big dick, etc… im not so in shape myself an sometimes self conscious of dick size, so i use him… i also dont masturbate much anymore, its jus to finish after multiple hours or layin dere gettin groped, suckt an fuckt… da weird part is doe… i never summoned it by ritual, invoked it etc… it also doesnt speak, buh i ask question an my leg twitches if yes an well… doesnt if no… also read a recent thread response to someone attemptin to acquire a succubus… sayin dat dere were trials, tests of sorts… as i would get riddles when she might be angry, buh gettin dem correct jus brightened her up… im oh so very lost an need some help figurin dis an many other things out… i can get into further details if askt specifics or i remember sumn by wot yu reply wit… to ensure wot is happenin is happenin… buh dis is da main stuff i recall an am goin thru as we speak.

Recently i have found myself, my tru self, da dark inside me, wantin to let it out… now im tryina really discover dis dark side ive never really unleasht becos im truly done tryna fit in wit da crowd. So I am here, tryina learn about succubus an if any of wot i said is possible widout a summon or ritual. I also really need to learn how to center, control, an stay put in my a euphoric state wit my magical vitality.
I also have always had a interest in Vodoun, Necromancy an Black Magik…
Yes, I realize dis is a lot for a beginner, buh if yu gotta passion for sumn, it jus comes to yu an makes yu work harder… so im finally tappin into dis dark side ive let linger buh never dissipate to finally understand wot it is ive been doin wit my life…
Again, thoughts, comments, ideas, help! lol

Why are you spelling your words like the way a Jamaican person talks?

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It’s just harder to understand and requires more patience to read through your texts because it’s not american english.

To answer your question. Just go with it. Watch E.A.s youtube videos

Really? Dats wot yu pick up from dat…? Guh bye[/quote]

Uh, that’s about the ONLY thing I could pick up from that seeing as how your English skills could use some vast improvement. Don’t like it, then learn to form a proper sentence and maybe I won’t point that out next time but it’s really hard to take someone seriously that talks like one of those psychic hotline people on a TV comedy show. Just saying…

Actually I’m glad this has come up. It raises a question. When you perform rituals, does your speech have to be accurate and proper for the language your using to perform it aloud or can you just mean it from your heart? What if someone has a speech impediment? I’m still learning.

People in the same countries have different accents, and the sounds of both vowels and consonants have shifted quite significantly over the centuries, so I don’t personally think there’s one correct way to pronounce things and everything else will be like entering a password with one letter incorrect and therefore being blocked or redirected - however it is worth asking spirits how they’d like their name pronounced, some will give you a specific pronunciation that it’s best to use thereafter.

Just because you don’t type like a muggle? So you’re saying only magicians talk like that? Because none of us here do. And I wasn’t going to offer you any help anyway, you snapped at me for asking a question. It’s not common for people to type like that so of course someone is going to ask why. It doesn’t mean it was a personal attack just that I was curious because I’d never seen anyone do that before. But whatever, not going to argue with someone that gets their nutsac pipe in a twist over a harmless curious question. Goodbye.

Don’t worry Incubus, I’m sure at this rate you’ll have people lining up here to help you in no time.

This is a troll.

INCUBUS,can I please request that you try not to offend anyone?I’m sorry,if this comes off in a crude manner,but Jimmy,for example,was just trying to help,and there is a veritable truth in his advice to go with it.So,he shouldn’t be shunned.

His advice to go with it,meant to follow your intuition.Magick is filled with all kinds of spells,rituals,spirits,and systems.It is an evergrowing field of bringing your desires into fruition and altering reality…as well as yourself.

It is power,for the powerless.Freedom,for the enslaved.And happiness,for the sad.

Ergo,to truly learn what path to follow,what spirits to summon,what spells to cast,etc. give into your intuition.It is a mere manifestation of an ancient,powerful and atavistic titan shackled within your spirit longing to stretch his invisible hands out into the universe and grant you power.

You mentioned an attraction to some very powerful,and very dark fields,so I will start by telling you that that’s great.Some people have a stronger attraction to some magics than others,and it’s that pull that’s going to guide you to the true paths of your ascent.

All of those paths are dangerous.Black Magic is where you will start.It is a field of growth,and power.Study the videos,newsletters,books,and contents that will bring you into contact with the spirits.

So there isn’t much to say,because EA puts it very well,simply learn evocation,divination and soul travel,to varying degrees to begin pathworking any other system.

Vodoun is serious,it requires initiation,along with a will to remain completely and utterly devoted to the Loa.It’s not the kind of system you can enter and exit as you will.Once they take you as their student,they’ll never let you go.And you’ll be serving them,forever.But in serving them,you will grow as a master of this earth,and if you go far enough(which you probably won’t,because the amount of people that end up Voodoo Kings and Queens is minimal) you might end up comparable to them in power.

Necromancy,too,is dangerous.The age-old warnings given to everyone about not working with the dead?Not to mention,the sheer seriousness and gravity of those spirit?Be very wary.Otherwise,just start working with your ancestors,a good psychopomp,and the gatekeeper of a cemetery,to be in contact with other shades.

And please,do not be overly offended at Ravenascent either.She was simply taking notice of your unusual spelling,and making no attempt at attacking you.

Otherwise,welcome to the boards Will!

May the Spirits smile on you,and the odds be ever in your favor.

I dont need approval fo someone to speak to me wit actual knowledge of wot im sayin…

Most definitely not…

Its jus a trigger to lash back to comments about my ways… not tryna get ina fight or offend, it feels like an insult so i retaliate…

I understand now wot he is tryna say…

Am jus ina fragile state, requirin some detail in order to figure out wot is actually happenin to me… its an odd buh inspirin experince… jus tryna figure it out fully cos from wot i read yu have to summon said things… so im jus really confused… den when askt how i type or am, completely offtopic was annoyin…

Ive wanted to practice an have been fascinated by voodoo an vodoun my whole life an i probably will pursue dat da most, i was jus lookin for examples on whea to start…

Ona serious note, i really dont understand wots goin on wit dis “succubus” type feelin i have between me an my feline companion… pls anyone wit information as to wot might be goin on answer back, message me, something

Everyone’s had their say right, let’s try one last time:

Incubus, what I can make out from your OP is this - you bought a cat you named Lucifer and from then you felt like other beings were touching you in a sexual manner.

You then had an accident and damaged your back and after a short time of not being able to become aroused, you now can, but it hurts and you sometimes visualise you’re someone you believe to be more sexually potent and attractive.

You also moved into an old house which you think may have spiritual residues that are affecting you. And you think a spirit which may be a succubus is having sex with you.

How’s my translation so far?

IMO you need to learn to properly evoke spirits, there’s a book on this site (go to Program Catalogue in the menu above) called Evoking Eternity and that should help you to gain understanding and mastery of the spirits, and of evocation, etc.

Just dealing with half-understood possibilities and stuff like you’re doing at the moment is probably not going to be empowering for you on a long-term basis.

[quote=“Lady Eva, post:12, topic:5939”]Everyone’s had their say right, let’s try one last time:

Incubus, what I can make out from your OP is this - you bought a cat you named Lucifer and from then you felt like other beings were touching you in a sexual manner.

You then had an accident and damaged your back and after a short time of not being able to become aroused, you now can, but it hurts and you sometimes visualise you’re someone you believe to be more sexually potent and attractive.

You also moved into an old house which you think may have spiritual residues that are affecting you. And you think a spirit which may be a succubus is having sex with you.

How’s my translation so far?

IMO you need to learn to properly evoke spirits, there’s a book on this site (go to Program Catalogue in the menu above) called Evoking Eternity and that should help you to gain understanding and mastery of the spirits, and of evocation, etc.

Just dealing with half-understood possibilities and stuff like you’re doing at the moment is probably not going to be empowering for you on a long-term basis.[/quote]

Correct for da most part… It doesnt hurt when im aroused, jus sometimes when i smoke weed, da pain of my injury like it first happened affects me again… Da visualization is constant…

Also some things i may have left out, for no reason in particular or didnt think it relevant when it is… Da upstairs neighbors from me… I can hear dem speakin, when i walk down in my home i hear someone walkin above me, same rooms… At first when i moved into da house, it wasnt surfin webcams wit it, it was a full body experience… reachin orgasm widout touchin myself… ive heard da room above me moan an scream like it was pleasured too… gettin images of da mother above me in my head… other times it would be da daughter… it wasnt jus my penis feelin pleasure at times either… dey have a homosexual son… it has felt like i was penetrated in dat way as well… its since been primarily penis arousal, i read dat succubi are able to hit male gspot in da rectum doe… so dats why ive came to dat insight of thinkin its a succubus… coincidence? all da time doe? Also when i pick up my cat when im havin a bad high or feelin odd, it feels like some symbiosis type shit… when im in serious pain from sittin up an weird too long, since i have rods on each side of my spine, it gets uncomfortable in one position too long… Lucifer runs around da house lika crasy person… could be normal or coincidence… Im really jus tryna figure out everythin… was hopin someone may have had some typa experience like dis…

Evokin spirits seems wise in my position… Speakin of… are succubi able to manifest on their own? or thru pets?

It is already not empowerin… it kills me not to be able to relate or find out wot is really happenin to me…

So yu think evokin will help me empower or embrace dis possibility?

[quote=“INCUBUS, post:13, topic:5939”]Im really jus tryna figure out everythin… was hopin someone may have had some typa experience like dis…

Evokin spirits seems wise in my position… Speakin of… are succubi able to manifest on their own? or thru pets?

It is already not empowerin… it kills me not to be able to relate or find out wot is really happenin to me…

So yu think evokin will help me empower or embrace dis possibility?[/quote]

I beieve what you’re asking, or maybe just what would be most helpful to you, is to try and put your experiences into some context and then find a way to regain control. I don’t believe it would be helpful for you to start evoking spirits without experience - I do think reading some books (and IMO the book Evoking Eternity is the best to begin with) will help you.

I say this because it might give you the kind of overview of what’s going on that you hoped to get here but which, for various reasons, isn’t really working out.

So, I suggest you invest in that book for now and study it, and see how that works. Throwing more details into this post doesn’t alter the underlying fact that you have spiritual phenomena going on that seem unwelcome and for which you don’t yet have the ability to get them under control.

[quote=“Lady Eva, post:14, topic:5939”][quote=“INCUBUS, post:13, topic:5939”]Im really jus tryna figure out everythin… was hopin someone may have had some typa experience like dis…

Evokin spirits seems wise in my position… Speakin of… are succubi able to manifest on their own? or thru pets?

It is already not empowerin… it kills me not to be able to relate or find out wot is really happenin to me…

So yu think evokin will help me empower or embrace dis possibility?[/quote]

I beieve what you’re asking, or maybe just what would be most helpful to you, is to try and put your experiences into some context and then find a way to regain control. I don’t believe it would be helpful for you to start evoking spirits without experience - I do think reading some books (and IMO the book Evoking Eternity is the best to begin with) will help you.

I say this because it might give you the kind of overview of what’s going on that you hoped to get here but which, for various reasons, isn’t really working out.

So, I suggest you invest in that book for now and study it, and see how that works. Throwing more details into this post doesn’t alter the underlying fact that you have spiritual phenomena going on that seem unwelcome and for which you don’t yet have the ability to get them under control.[/quote]

I am readin it now…
Its not dat it is unwanted… i truly love it to be honest… I jus wan to kno more aboutit… not jus feel dis way wit no context…

I understood everything he wrote; but I wondered too.

Wot have yu wondered…?