i’m kind of at a crossroads at the moment
the only thing keeping me sane is “I genuinely asked for this”
my goal has been to provide evidence beyond that which is there to be claimed, all my guides have been working with me alot (Amon, Agares, Paimon, Belial and Aim) … lately i asked if anything at this point could shatter my belief… nah… i personally asked them to provide me with circumstances that would shatter my belief.
boy oh boy…
since a few things are in the workings i’m not allowed to speak of exactly what is happening.I feel kinda dumb because this is LITERALLY days after I recieved my first familiar from satan… now im neck deep in magickal practice and … i doubt. i think i lost it. when i meditate it’s not crystal clear images anymore, it’s more like static… images behind static and i struggle.
now, i have an epic relationship with the demons but i’m scared. wthey fell silent, is this just teaching me a lesson or have i really lost it
I know i asked for this… but are we all just kidding ourselves here