Separating magick from mental illness

General Discussion
1

i’m kind of at a crossroads at the moment
the only thing keeping me sane is “I genuinely asked for this”

my goal has been to provide evidence beyond that which is there to be claimed, all my guides have been working with me alot (Amon, Agares, Paimon, Belial and Aim) … lately i asked if anything at this point could shatter my belief… nah… i personally asked them to provide me with circumstances that would shatter my belief.
boy.
boy oh boy…

since a few things are in the workings i’m not allowed to speak of exactly what is happening.I feel kinda dumb because this is LITERALLY days after I recieved my first familiar from satan… now im neck deep in magickal practice and … i doubt. i think i lost it. when i meditate it’s not crystal clear images anymore, it’s more like static… images behind static and i struggle.

now, i have an epic relationship with the demons but i’m scared. wthey fell silent, is this just teaching me a lesson or have i really lost it

I know i asked for this… but are we all just kidding ourselves here

2

Why would you do that?

3

To once again see it from the other perspective. It’s too much, I admit.
on the upside… i fully comprehend how nuts we must sound to others but i know it’s real and the mental pain is … real

4

we need solid foundations tho man. still scared … know thyself is harder than I thought

5

I believe there is a Re-organization of Forces in the works.

6

how so? like they knew this would happen and it’s somehow a part of it?

7

Perhaps they intend to shatter your belief…so that instead you will not believe, but, KNOW. The only thing that can shatter your belief is your own mind, it seems…as you may experience self doubt…and while that can be crippling for a magick practitioner, you may indeed learn much from the experience. All your previously held beliefs may come in to question; you may examine several possibilities and ways to explain it… perhaps they will help remove any illusion so you can see more clearly into the heart of magick, and you will have a bone-deep knowing that it is working…has already worked, and you are simply becoming more aware of that fact.

8

Hi Brother,

“Since a few things are in the workings i’m not allowed to speak of exactly what is happening”. Sounds very interesting, do the Magick talk.

9

Hi SsilverRr, please post an Introduction here before posting any more, it’s one of this forum’s Rules and I sent you a message as a reminder, you can find that in your PM Inbox - go to the link above that says “Messages”:

Once you’ve posted an intro, I’ll delete this reminder from your thread.

Thanks! :slight_smile:

10

[quote=“SsilverRr, post:1, topic:7110”]i’m kind of at a crossroads at the moment
the only thing keeping me sane is “I genuinely asked for this”

my goal has been to provide evidence beyond that which is there to be claimed, all my guides have been working with me alot (Amon, Agares, Paimon, Belial and Aim) … lately i asked if anything at this point could shatter my belief… nah… i personally asked them to provide me with circumstances that would shatter my belief.
boy.
boy oh boy…

since a few things are in the workings i’m not allowed to speak of exactly what is happening.I feel kinda dumb because this is LITERALLY days after I recieved my first familiar from satan… now im neck deep in magickal practice and … i doubt. i think i lost it. when i meditate it’s not crystal clear images anymore, it’s more like static… images behind static and i struggle.

now, i have an epic relationship with the demons but i’m scared. wthey fell silent, is this just teaching me a lesson or have i really lost it

I know i asked for this… but are we all just kidding ourselves here[/quote]

The way I know something’s real is by getting second other people to confirm