Sensibility and Power

So…power is awesome.

Whether it’s influence over other people,circumstances in your own life,the superpower kind of stuff some of us can do(for example,mind control,which most people here master at some point or another),power always matters,power is beneficial to us,the will to power is the will that drives the black magician into the deepest parts of the abyss,and into the highest heavens.

Whether he commands infernal legions,or angelic choirs,if he’s a self-aggrandizing,LHP-minded magician,his goal will be the acquisation of power,and the attainment of godhood,a state of maximum power.

Power over something is understanding it,knowing it,using it,controlling it,and improving it.And power is what we seek after.

This is not a discussion on the morals of using power,because we aren’t concerned about those.This is not a ‘‘with great power comes great responsibility’’,or ‘‘power corrupts’’ kind of thread.

By sensibility,I am not referring to knowing and understanding how and when to do what.I am referring to the sensibility first defined by John Locke,studied by Dr George Cheyne,and emulated greatly in the artistic world by Samuel Richardson.

Richardson’s novels were some of the first romance novels out there,and his characters were sensibility incarnate,for at the time,sensibility was considered a disorder(though an in-born one you learn to live with,like lactose intolerance),which lets you be more involved in the world,see more,feel more,have better senses and such,but also leaves you open to greater melodrama,and whirlwinds of emotions and hopeless love.

The reason I bring up sensibility is because I have been struggling with incredible emotional turmoil,and an overall explosion of this sensibility since I started rising to serious power,even more so than I had in the past,and I was always very sensitive.

As an example,seeing my crush hugging another guy,even though I know she hugs more or less everyone(including me),would ordinarily not make me think much of it.On this occasion,though,I had to sprint out of the room as fast as I could,feeling something very evil brewing inside,just waiting to come out.

I was right because as I ran,hateful thoughts gathered,and knowing from what happened in the past,they were bad.What happened then,though,was that I had tendrils explode from me,and grab any passerby and start vamping them for no reason,draining everyone of energy,until people started looking at me with some sort of contempt.

And the energy that I was absorbing,was complementing the energy of my Godself,which was surfacing,and being discharged randomly.I kept it under serious control,but the fact that I released and radiated so much was insane.In fact,I saw at some point,the energy I was releasing and absorbing.I had to stop myself from soul traveling and shapeshifting into a draconic creature,I had to gather myself out fo a trance,and had to prevent myself from summoning who knows what.

But this isn’t the first time this kind of thing has happened.Getting a bad grade,like I did today,threw me into a fit of dysphoria,much greater than my usual sadness.I wouldn’t just have my shoulders slumped,or even something like that,I would immediately hear a very audible scream in my head,and after a time start seeing particles flowing around me.

I’d focus on them so intently,I’d practically zone out,and I could see nothing and no one,just the small water droplets around me,whizzing.And at that point,I’d have to meditate and ground myself.

My emotions manifested in less distasteful ways too.When I was extremely happy,it was showed,by this strange appreciation of everything,that I mentioned on another page here.For some reason,EVERYTHING seemed to have so much depth and glory to it that I could look at a leaf and be mesmerized by how pretty it is and people would think that I’m high.

Meeting with my friends make me cast blessings on them left and right.By the end of it,I’d be blessing anyone on the streets,wrapping my aura over them and releasing waves of light.

What’s interesting about these blessings,though,is that they work.That by blessing someone as only a god would bless,they seem to be getting absurdly lucky,and good stuff keeps happening to them.

Likewise,if extremely tired,I’d simply mutter,’‘need more power’’ and more power would come.Instantly.

And when impassioned,I’ve been shown to completely turn into a beast.

My ascent is in a very interesting spot right now,but as you can see,this is weird.It probably has something to do with me awakening my Kundalini recently,and merging two aspects of my workings,but beyond that,I have been brimming with power,which has been influencing,and influenced by,my emotions.

In the Book of Azazel,Dante mentions most magicians rising to serious power begin to explore with drugs to take the edge off,perhaps because they’re experiencing emotional and magical overloads such as these?

Anyone else felt something like this,on more or less every time any emotion occurs?

IMO,this is a sign that I’m attaining godhood.The gods of Greek mythology are the best example.Their emotions are seriously over-the-top,yet they were highly respected and worshiped.

Once again,those were minor examples where I demonstrated self-restraint.More direct times,would include times when I was so anxious about something happening,that I did a spell and had it turn in the completely opposite direction and end up super successful.

What’s everyone else’s thoughts on this?Is this kind of stuff normal?Has it happened to you?

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I consider myself an anarchist. So I want to control my own space. I am not a big fan of trying to control others unless they are fucking with my life. So, yes, the will to power is strong in me. But my values don’t really allow me to try to control others unless it directly benefits me (like manipulating a girl to get her into bed is something that I might do, but not manipulating her boss to fire her just for the sake of being able to do it). But this is all hypothetical, until I can get magick to work for me, haha.

Fyi others looking distastefully at you isnt necessarily them. Let me explain a little bit. Consciousness is a very tricky thing especially when playing on a Mass Consciousness level. There is a Heirarchy of consciousness. A low powered human being will not recognize anything beyond his own individual Soul of consciousness. The more power you gain means attaining a Greater Soul…which means a higher Level of Consciousness.

There are a certain number of Big Souls, amd Greater Souls and Living Gods in this world. You can think of it sort of like a Chessboard of competing players. So if someone is looking at you distastefully, think not of the individual, but rather who up the Jacobs Ladder (LOL) of such a persons Soul have you garnered the attention of whose sensibilities you are getting dirty? This is a psychic Gangsterism and you are operating on someone elses turf. That is the real reason hou are getting dirty looks. Besides that, people are a very complicated weave of Mass Consciousness.

Regardless of what Dante’s thought on that are, I think there is a lot more too it than that.

I haven’t risen to serious power so I can’t really give much input on what Dante said.
Drugs can really drag you down though … They may “take the edge off” at first, but it can be a slippery slope as I am sure many will tell you.

Death Wish, drugs and alcohol have FAR more negative results than positives

I agree.

That rings true for me, as I’ve posted I had my breakthrough into merger with Source at the same time as skull-numbing depression and also heavy drinking, I mean 1 or 2 bottles of wine a night every night, and I’m not like a big gal so it was hitting me pretty hard.

But once I realised I’d reached a point where things I thought about would happen, just like that, and also that everything I’d been all caught up in (I used to be quite political) was really just shadows of my OWN mind (and no, I can’t explain how that one works to anyone, you have to experience it yourself) then getting drunk was the only way to ground myself, quiet my racing thoughts (most of which were asking wtf I was trying to dissolve into the All since I could apparently do godlike stuff! Something I’ve obviously now fixed) and so on.

But yes, they went together, I get what he’s saying there and I totally get why a lot of magicians use and abuse stuff, I’m still none-too-sane but I just found less destructive ways to get back to some kind of normal when needed.

I can relate to everything you’re saying there Arcane, I’m lucky too that most of my breakthroughs didn’t coincide with the physical/hormonal/emotional changes of being a teenager… bloody hell, that was bad enough without the rest on top! )

I would argue power is not a real thing. Merely a meme we’ve been taught to desire. For me, power in magic comes from reliability. Work at making your magic more reliable, and you will acquire power. Chase power without knowing where it comes from, well good luck with that.

A muse is by definition a focal point.

I’ve got 3 rules to dream control I think apply to magic.

  1. Everything requires your attention to exist
  2. The more attention you give something, the more related detail it creates.
  3. Strong emotions are like nitrous oxide to the second rule.

So you’ve got this chick, your muse, which allows you to focus beyond your current skill level. Then you throw in the emotional factor, and it’s no wonder the effects were so powerful.

But that’s potential, not power. You didn’t do that on your own, it was a fluke of random circumstances. Going out on a limb, I don’t think you can recreate that at will just yet. Study what it was about those particular circumstances which got you focused the way you were, and work that shit into your rituals.

Also, control my ass! You’re lying to yourself. That wasn’t control, that was indulgence. If you didn’t want bad shit to happen, you had the option to focus on anything else. You went to a bad place and wallowed in it. When you have power, you go to a place that is conductive to your intent no matter what, one you can rely on.

Not saying I’m perfect, that’s just what I aspire to, being able to focus my attention on things conductive to my true will.

the law of cause and effect… what to do and when, what to become and when…

these are the types of philosophical discussions that have been plaguing the minds of men for eons.

sensibility when referring to magical pursuits IMO means doing whatever the fuck you want whenever the fuck you want. not to say that there aren’t grand tasks that need preforming, or lives that could be saved… but at the end of the day is any of it required? nah, magic is the great elective class of life, you don’t need to do it. however wanting to do it is what becomes the life and passion of the magician.

power is, before all other things, an idea. “knowledge is power.” that’s the saying isn’t it?

everyone has unlimited godlike energy, but it takes learning to know how to focus and use it. furthermore it could be said that power is merely the childlike imagination of god, for it is by this means more than any other that we construct our desires.

[quote=“The Cusp, post:8, topic:6673”]I would argue power is not a real thing. Merely a meme we’ve been taught to desire. For me, power in magic comes from reliability. Work at making your magic more reliable, and you will acquire power. Chase power without knowing where it comes from, well good luck with that.

A muse is by definition a focal point.

I’ve got 3 rules to dream control I think apply to magic.

  1. Everything requires your attention to exist
  2. The more attention you give something, the more related detail it creates.
  3. Strong emotions are like nitrous oxide to the second rule.

So you’ve got this chick, your muse, which allows you to focus beyond your current skill level. Then you throw in the emotional factor, and it’s no wonder the effects were so powerful.

But that’s potential, not power. You didn’t do that on your own, it was a fluke of random circumstances. Going out on a limb, I don’t think you can recreate that at will just yet. Study what it was about those particular circumstances which got you focused the way you were, and work that shit into your rituals.

Also, control my ass! You’re lying to yourself. That wasn’t control, that was indulgence. If you didn’t want bad shit to happen, you had the option to focus on anything else. You went to a bad place and wallowed in it. When you have power, you go to a place that is conductive to your intent no matter what, one you can rely on.

Not saying I’m perfect, that’s just what I aspire to, being able to focus my attention on things conductive to my true will.[/quote]

If cusp is right about her letting you focus better, snatch her up and see where it gets you

@Deathwish no one here said I was doing drugs or drinking alcohol,in or out of ritual.I simply stated that that point,was described by Dante there,and what it looked like.

@Cusp, thank you wholeheartedly for pointing that out.I was telling myself it was self-controlling because I wasn’t scratching the sun out or something.

And believe it or not,I can induce that kind of thing,but in the opposite direction.As in,induce extreme happiness at the thought of getting something,that I’ve been applying into ritual.

Though,I’ve been experimenting with not using ritual,and instead using my thoughts as their own form of magic,so we’ll have to see how that works out.

Nevertheless,your input is highly valued.

Everyone else,thank for responding and I’m sorry that I didn’t address you,as I am highly temporally limited.

Same rules apply. Like doing math in your head, it’s easier if you’ve done it previously on paper over and over, like a ritual. It’s easier to cycle through the lyrics of a song in your head if you’ve listened to it over and over. That’s the benefit of ritual.

In the interests of adversarial challenge to either evolve or perish, by that token eating meat or having sex can be disastrous to your magickal power - unless you learn to control these things rather than the other way around. The path of the kaula is walking the razor’s edge and using the utmost potential for evil to become that which has the greatest power for good. This is how it’s viewed from one end of the razor, anyway - the other end lies beyond good and evil.

cringes

Truth, though.