To start off I’d like to give a little background as to why the topic of sacrifice has been on my mind. Santisima Muerte has been a Familiar (in the sense that I have an intimate relationship with Her) of mine for almost three years. My work with her has intensified these last couple days, mostly lots of prayer and offerings, but she’s called to my attention my, almost unhealthy, obsession with finding a lover. To be in love is one of my greatest desires, the other desire is the desire for power. I seriously feel that I am being led to choose which desire to follow. To cut an already lengthy story short, I want to know what if you’ve sacrificed anything dear to you before taking a serious step into darkness. Its as if the welcome mat says " abandon all hope".
Take a step back and cool your unhealthy obsessions. It’s possible.
Seems reasonable, as long as you want that above all else you can’t actually have power because your happiness and fulfilment rest in the hands of some other arbitrary person.
Love and relationships matter a lot to me but they’re supports, and not what defines my happiness, but it took me a long time and a lot of obsessive and fucked-up heartbreaks to get to that point.
For some reason I feel like I should link you to this bit of work I did: Evocation of my Personal Daemon.
It might help you liberate the strength of the side of your own personality that you’re currently looking to a lover to fulfil… just a thought.
Kudos for facing this possibility anyway, major shifts in your value system can be firghtening to contemplate.
Thanks for the input guys. I’d like to add that this idea of sacrifice led to a personal revelation of what Hope is. I’m constantly hoping that my suitor will want me like I want them or hoping my magic is strong and hoping that my spirits hear and guide me. Ea said in one of his books, that the Powers of Darkness will not allow Hope to linger in they’re presence for very long, and I think I understand why. Hope is for the faithless. Faith is simply another word for Knowing. Santa Muerte told me to stop hoping for these things and Know that love and power are already mine. Basically, detach yourself from the desire. Desire is blinding just like Hope. Cleanse yourself of Hope and replace it with Knowing.