Romantic conundrum

So I have a bit of a problem. I like two people but I really want one more than the other at this point. I really like my friend but he’s in a relationship already. The other guy is nice and I like him and he’s single but he has a drug issue, and I’m not sure how well we’d get along in the long term since there’s an age-gap and he can be somewhat immature. Idk how to feel about doing magick to break my friend up from his girlfriend, but something in my spirit says it’s ok. However, I don’t know if it’s actual intuition or just ego talking. I guess this relates less to magick itself and more personal advice on what option to choose.

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Option c, someone emotionally available AND mature enough for you.

Pretty sure you can use magick to attract something better than both of them put together. It’s not always a case of better the devil you know.

Doesn’t sound like you’re his friend to me, but the issue with this is, the more he gets to know you the sooner he finds out you did this. Recipe for drama and losing out. If all you want is a few weeks of sexy times then you’re good.

but something in my spirit says it’s ok.

Yeah, look a little lower maybe :joy_cat:

Depends on the drug issue and why he uses, and if you’re happy to support him, and if he’s high functioning enough for it not to negatively impact your lives. And if he’s immature or just dumb: one can be fixed with time and education, the other not so much.

I feel like, if you’re a mage, you can do better.


I second that.


I like your insight. They’re both sweet guys, and I do like them both, but I’ve been friends with the one I want for years and I felt like there’s something there. We live in different states and he recently got back in touch with me over facebook so we’ve been just talking on there. He doesn’t know how I feel and I don’t give many hints. He also got in touch with me after a ritual I did with sitri asking him who my future partner is. It could just be coincidence, idk. Then the other guy came around a few weeks after that and he seems like a good person, and he claims he uses the drug for work and he voluntarily told me this during a conversation so I appreciated his honesty, but he can be a little too childish at times and it does worry me. We’ve only been talking on facebook, but he lives 40 mins away and he’s not sure if he wants a relationship and I’m fine with taking things slow, so idk. I feel like if my friend were single, he’d go for me, but that’s not a guarantee either. I did do some love magick on him once a few weeks ago and I seemed to get some results, but when I mentioned the other guy he seemed to start bringing up his gf more, so I’m just at a loss. I was going to wait until I actually visited him to make a final decision since we haven’t seen each other in years.

I say forget anyone you have worries over

You’re asking us what to choose, not how to do it so… yeah as above

You’re telling us you’re not sure on both

Why not decide you deserve better? Do some work on self love

Neither are the way amazing relationships start rn

And ones a garantueed loss of a friendship, sure you may get the guy into a relationship but you won’t keep his friendship


In my experience uncertainty usually leads to disaster. I wouldn’t do a ritual for either one of them if I were you.


Do they know each other? I’d entertain the both of them and see who rises to the occasion…(no pun intended) But seriously, it doesn’t sound like you have an ethical dilemma over breaking up relationships (no judgment from me- trust me), so…proceed onward. See how it all plays out.

You might wanna take a look at why your in a conundrum over two unavailable men though.

There’s probably a huge realization/ growth opportunity there…and…there are demons that can assist you in getting to the root of that.


No I usually wouldnt mind breaking up a couple if I wanted a vuy bad enough and I thought he’d be happier with me. But I care a lot for my friend and I do think he would want to be with me if he were single. But he seems happy with his gf so I’m not sure I want to be the cause of him hurting. Although I have some reason to feel shes not right but I’m not sure if the feeling is correct. Usually my insticts aren’t wrong but I’m hesitant to act. And then i wonder if I should just go with the other guy since he’s single and just take my time with him. But he does act childish but overall I like him. I will do a ritual to gain more insight on the situation like you all have suggested.

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Yup- this might be a divine guidance moment for you.

All I can do is say the following.

I don’t use magick on other people. Especially when it’s not asked for. I don’t know exactly what’s really happening in other people’s lives, and therefore what’s best for them. So, if I interfere, especially with magick, I’m technically meddling and that can hurt them. Ive rather just let people do what they feel like doing and just take steps to uplift myself. I only think using magick to affect someone else is justified is when their circumstances or actions impact me. However, no one really needs a romantic partner.

Idk if I’ll ever contradict what I’m saying. But for now this is what I believe. Same about the other guy’s drug issue.

My suggestion is to use magick to find someone who’s open to dating you. If it interests you, I’m available! :wink: Jokes aside, I think you should just move on.

Maybe just sleep with the bad boi and stay friends with the other guy. You dont have to necessarily break up the couple, I would say do some glamour and sexual attraction spells on yourself and see if that makes him leave her for you, if you magickally become way hotter than her its possible, on the other hand the druggie doesnt sound like a good influence and you were pretty sour describing him. Fuck him but dont get tied into a toxic relationship, shit he might be okay with a casual relationship.

another option. have higher standards. they not in your neck of the woods. why waste time? they aren’t in any way helping you better your life. move on.

It feels more like your wanting to feel wanted just cuz your lonely or cuz everyone else have someone. following society’s need to have someone. do you even know what you want in regards to interacting with others ? Liking someone don’t mean you don’t use common sense to screen them.

From a mundane perspective I wouldn’t advise getting into a relationship with an immature drug user. That just sounds like a bad time.

Listen to your own judgement. Did you know your friend before he was in a rlship and did you like him then?

Speaking as someone who poured a lot of time and effort into a particular target, in my case most of it came down to ego, pride, and conquest. But I eventually realised he wasn’t right for me and it would take an exhaustive amount of work to forge a healthy relationship with him.

Would you still be interested in your friend if he wasn’t in a relationship*? Does he seem happy in his relationship?

You have options at your disposal here but consider as well; if you are capable of having strong feelings for someone, like your friend, you are capable of having them for others, and there may be someone just around the corner who is more suited for you. So you can consider a third option to be open to a new suitor who is a good match for you, and isn’t already in a relationship.

Keep in mind as well that if you did break up your friend and his gf, you may be playing a long game. Unless he falls completely out of love with her, or if they mutually decide the love is gone and amicably go their separate ways, you probably don’t want someone who is going to fall immediately into your arms for comfort. It’s not a non-starter situation but definitely kind of a buzzkill if you end up in a relationship that begins with you consoling him through his breakup. But hey, who knows.


So familiar that :sweat_smile::joy:

I mean it’s fun to do, realise you can have something and take it

But it wears you down exhaustively trying to maintain it at healthy, relationships should be places you both grow in together and feel free. It’s a bit of a prison to take something you’re never really going to be able to relax in and wonder if you would have been enough for someone without magick. Far more satisfying really to love yourself enough not to make someone a higher priority than they really wanted to be in the first place imo


You’re assuming way too much. Ive been happily single for over a year so I’m not in any hurry to be with someone. The one who does drugs has only spoken to me over Facebook same as my friend. He lives in the same state just in another city. The friend stays in another state. Also, I try not to judge people for doing drugs. Plenty of people do them for different reasons. I just appreciate honesty and I was glad he was honest about it because my previous ex lied about his drug use and had a very bad drug problem. I like him but im not sure if it would work out long term. I also like my friend more but I dont want to focus on someone who’s taken and end up missing out on someone who is already single. The other one isnt sure he wants a serious relationship so I’m not going to rush into anything. Ive already said this previously.

I’m not assuming anything. Just responding to the post. If you know what you want than there is no need to ask online. So there is some confusion and other concerns. Not only that, is it really reliable to ask strangers that is into occult? Many here aren’t sound in mind if you read the many stories. lol.

More trustworthy is your inner self. you know what’s best as your living the situation. that’s why i suggested one do the screening not external people. I don’t get why people keep asking for external answers and dismiss it when advice giving. I am sensing you want approval rather than advice.

Yes I had some feelings for him when we were younger and I was thinking of him a lot for a few months before he contacted me. I would go for him if he were single, he and I seem to have a lot in common and I do sense some chemistry there.

That’s the part I’m talking about. And most of my conundrum comes from me not being sure if my friend and I would work. And I wouldnt want to end up being bored. I havent seen him in forever so I was planning to make a final decision after I visited him.

he’s not the answer. you are. self journey of knowing yourself. what do you want? not society’s programming of need for someone to be there nor what others tell you.

contemplate , meditate . silence to listen to inner self. it’s your friend.

I’m not looking for a guy to complete me.