Ripped apart, disemboweled, strung up, and bled out. This was their gift to me

Magick Vampirism & Necromancy
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This is by far one of the most intense, darkest, bloodiest experiences I’ve had when it comes to traveling to different realities and meeting those who inhabit the space. It’s fucking insane, honestly… I’m having a really hard time even finding the words to properly express how intense this was for me… But, I’ll try to stay on task and keep the story moving forward smoothly.

This all happened yesterday. I made a connection with a fellow sorcerer. We basically became instant friends because of our seemingly claircognizant understanding of one another. You know how it is. When you meet someone and you see your darkness in them and they see their’s in you… There is that feeling like you were both expecting one another. Anyway. He doesn’t use this forum, so I won’t bother with names or anything like that.

We were talking magick, chaos, shadows, intent, and ambitions… And he is in the possession of some really intensely powerful magickal tools and relics. There is a particular medallion that he created with another sorcerer some time ago.

I meditated on the Sigils and Symbols that adorned the golden circle…

I uttered the words “a collection of spiderwebs woven into the fabric of chaos…
it feels like its being condensed…
pulling energy in
the energy is heavy and dense going in
the trap only releases ethereal smoke
there are many faces…”

My left arm and left shoulder, including the muscles around the shoulder blade became tight and stiff, almost paralyzed. I took a breath and shook it off.

But, moments later, I began to feel light… My mind clear of thoughts… My body tingling… My eyes opening wide…

Suddenly, slightly above my head, I saw something rip hole in the fabric of my reality. It was a long tear, like someone took a big pair of demon scissors from Hell and just snip, snip, snipped a nice long rip in your trip, trip, Tripp pants…

Then, I was being pulled into this tear in space, and entered a world whose shapes and structures could be called similar to what we experience here… but everything was stitched in Flesh. Blood was spread everywhere in abundance… Even the sky was red… and everything was of flesh, and blood, and bone, and death. There were glowing red sigils and symbols all over, cut and burned into the flesh that bound together created this world…

After taking in the sight of this place for what seemed like both an eternity, yet only one second simultaneously, a group of dark grey, skeletal smoke demons with horns of bone, viciously attacked me… They were short… I would compare them to Imps in my mind… They were slightly see-through, too… as if they were ethereal… made of both smoke and bone…

This is where it gets fucking brutal. Broo. Tull.

Have you ever had your throat cut deeeeep, feeling your blood fall out like a flowing fountain? Have you had your skin on your back, stomach, chest ripped and torn down to muscle and bone and internal organs by small, sharp, skeleton hands?

It was a sight to see… They even took a noose and hung me from a tree, while my neck was bleeding out, and they were continuing to stab and cut with knives all over my body, rip and tear with their bony fingers, and just mutilate my flesh in any way imaginable…

At one moment, they noticed I was still able to breathe slightly, even though I was strung up by my neck, and with throat cut… so they cut out my lungs, and my heart, and ate them in front of me.

And I would not die. Things would just somehow not be cut, or ripped, or destroyed on my body… like a reset button was hit so they could torture me endlessly.

Now, while I existed in this realm of perpetual pain and suffering… I also was aware of my existence here, in this dimension… Existing in both worlds at once. I could see them and where they were damaging my body, but now I felt no pain. I could feel pressure… a tug here, a poke or pinch there…

But, they were also starting to communicate with me through their torturing. I realized that they were guiding me to feel my death in their world, but as I am alive in our world. When they would hang me there, in this world I would hold my breath. When they cut me, I would visualize and feeeeeeel the blood flow, and I would let my body go limp and close my eyes, and just feel the blood flow, hold my breath, and focus on the blackness behind my eyelids…

And experience death. Alive.

Not only was my mind blown wide the fuck open, into a million tiny fucking pieces, but I was over come with THE MOST PLEASUREABLE FEELING I HAVE EVER FELT!

Imagine how good an orgasm feels. No imagine your best fucking orgasm. Now feel it all over your physical body, from your hair to your toes. Now feel it in your soul. You feel it in multiple dimensions. Orgasmic waves of pleasure surging through your being, but your being is multiplied by the layers that define you and by the number or planes you are a part of.

Now imagine that orgasm doesn’t end. It just keeps surging, vibrating… never too intense… never fading away… Just pure pleasure, unending.

All I had to do was sit there, and when they cut me, I had to bleed and play dead. When they hung me, I held my breath… And through this game we played, I could have made that moment of death and unimaginable pleasure last infinitely…

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During the continuous loop of pleasurable torture, this song played in the background and was a part of this peak moment of my existence.

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I feel like during this experience, I was neither alive, nor dead… But I was able to experience both completely.

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Welcome, brother.

I, too, have experienced the pleasures you speak of. Glad to see another understands and has experienced as well…

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The night before this experience, I sat in darkness in my room… My intention was to "go deep, deep, deep…’

As “deep” as I could. I came upon a small stone tower in another dimension, on a planet that seemed silent and empty, except for the tower, the grass, a slight breeze, and the vastness of black space…

I didn’t go up the tower, but found that there was an entrance into an underground section.

During this descent, there were shadows upon shadows, voices upon voices… Some I could understand, some were too gutteral…

The deeper I went, the darker it became, as well as humid and musty… Mildew, mold, and rot, and all that fun stuff. I think in this wet darkness some plants were actually growing… Hm…

I went further down until I reached a room too dark to see anything at all, and I had blown out any candles by this point to show that I was serious. In this darkness, I saw a pair of glowing red eyes, and a slight glimmer of black scales. It was a black Dragon lurking deeeeeeeep in the underground fortress. In this level of darkness, the dragon seemed infinite… And it was seemingly hostile/aggressive. I just stared into its eyes anyway. I showed no fear. I chose to descend to that depth and I chose to leave my fear behind… The Black Dragon respected this, and was calm after this…

The deep dive was over too quickly. I had to ascend and return to my own space to do what I do.

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Sounds extremely kinky.

I’ve also been astrally mutilated to bring about a particular effect. I wonder what happened if we connected astrally.

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Haha, kinky is an understatement…

As gruesome and bloody and just downright brutal as it was, the actual peak moment of the experience where it was at it’s most intense, it felt like the most pure and true state of being… It was like this feeling of constant epiphany… And in that moment I understood that I am immortal… That “I” exist even if my body and my mind have been destroyed…

I feel like if I was further along spiritually and less attached to Earthly things and my body that I could have just… Walked away in my own state of Godhood.

Its hard to come back from moments like that. But, I shouldn’t dwell on how it felt… Instead I should bring that understanding into me completely and use my power at it’s full potential to create the life I desire while I’m still here…

I feel like if The Mutilated Ones were able to gather astrally we could be creating worlds together. We probably already are.

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Hm. Wanna connect then?

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Now thats metal…

Thanks for sharing! :metal:

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@HermDemon

I am sure it is intentional on your part, but every time I have seen you appear here in these threads on this forum, I feel compelled to approach you. Like I’m being lured into a trap, but my intrigue is too great and my caution too low for me to resist the temptation!

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I’d like to experiment. I haven’t done much work on the astral plane with others intentionally.

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I used to have a recurring dream very similar to this where I would be alone in the forest with a white she-wolf and she would tear me apart with her teeth (usually starting with my throat or stomach). This was before I was into magic so I read that the dream “should be” interpreted as being overwhelmed, but I didn’t feel that away about it; I felt like the wolf was helping me “dissect” myself because I would wake up with a lot of thoughts about myself as a person, instead of being scared. It was probably very hard for me to feel in the dream because I did have very bad depression then, but thinking back to it now it was a very relaxing experience in an otherwise stressful and scary time for me.

I’ve been thinking about actually doing necromancy, especially now I have an object that belonged to my cat who died recently. I probably should if the pay off is that fulfilling.

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Pm me on either platform. We’re interested.

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Oh hell yeah @FellowLightbearer :metal::metal::metal:
Am gonna do something similar soon

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Damn man, I just came across this but it sounds like something out of hellraiser film. That totally blows my mind

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Sounds like a Veil of Outer Abyss, much like how the Veil of Horror was described to me, I have seen it, peered into it, and have even had mutilating visions from it, yet I was never tortured by Shades (skeletal human figures spat out by Azothoth when its sucking what it can out to feed the Heart of the All) but rather by my lover, Ba’alphegore, who has this thing about appearing in my dreams and visions from time to time to both seduce and torture me or those in my dreams with me, sometimes at the same time.

When you tapped the Abyss and made your intention to go deeper, you made a link with the third of the five Veils, which allowed them to make the tear to visit you through the breach. I love hearing about visions like this.

The Veils of Outer Abyss are the Veil of Silence, Despair, Horror, Glory, and Chaos:
The Veil of Silence is a still, dark mirror of our world tied to Limbo, tranquil and yet horrid at the same time hence the name.

The Veil of Despair is the source of the chilling energy seen in vortices tied to the Paranormal, it is the collective dread and sorrow of humanity, the collective unconscious Shadow from the Anima Mundi condensed into pure energy.

The Veil of Horror is the origin of nightmare, the domain of those who feed to nourish the Abyss while it is locked from the rest of the world, home to the twisted creations of Azothoth, whose creations sow the seeds of madness into the Evolutionary Worlds. This madness is designed to lead the species of these myriad planets to open gateways to let its monstrous progeny into their worlds, so as to gather their bounty of souls to nourish the Heart of the Bornless One. This Veil in many ways serves as a microcosm of the entire Outer Abyss in one place, wherein the outermost layer is a corpse heap of the shadowy remnants of what Azothoth is done chewing on, which get spat out and integrated into it. That was probably what you saw in your vision.

The Veil of Chaos the domain associated with the Qliphoth of the Nightside in the Book of Sitra Achra, where Azothoth from the Veil of Horror is replaced by the eleven headed dragon of Nachash Hekadmoni ha-Aur She-ain Bo Machshavah, also known as Azerate or El Acher. The Chaos of this world comes from an eternal battle with the Thoughtful Light which the beings here are driven into a frenzied state into believing it is actively trying to suffocate them and break them away from Reality altogether, and so they wage their war, mobilizing, envenomnating, intoxicating, and destroying anything obstructing their vision of a free and unbounded reality.

The Veil of Glory is the innermost layer of the Outer Abyss, is the home to what most would consider the Infernal Empire, the Elemental domain where the Nine Royal Families under the Prime Minister Lucifuge Rofocale of the Northeastern Face of Satan, Mephistopheles, reign supreme, home to the Gatekeepers of Inner Abyss who guard the ways to the Inner Abyss of the Twilight Valley of Existence.

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:heart_eyes: cool stuff

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After all, there can be no pleasure without agony.

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Though I haven’t experienced that myself, I once read in a book (I think it was called “Moon Magic by Llewelyn” or so) about a ritual to travel to Baba Yaga’s cottage, and how the spirit is just misunderstood and used as a dark figure in tales to scare kids from misbehaving, but that there is a useful truth to them for the practicing magician too.

The gist of it was that Baba Yaga is an embodiment of winter and renewal, and that should you will yourself into her cottage, you’d find a massive old woman, about the size of an ogre, who would listen to your troubles and give you harsh-toned advice, like a stern
grandmother should, to shake you out of complacency should that be the case. What pertains to this experience of yours is that you could be invited into the cauldron or even ask yourself to step it, to which Yaga would be very happy for your courage, and you would experience dissolution and see yourself or feel how you boil down to broth, only to be reformed and emerge younger or stronger from the bubbling water.

It also ties with Yakutian Shaman experiences, especially a tale where a child born with great power said to have experienced being abducted, brought to a mountain top and devoured and dismembered by monstrous creatures who’d then proceed to reassemble him, not just as an initiation but also to prep his soul for the rigor of being a shaman.

You can find such stories in these videos:

One more thing , experience has showed me that succubi and incubi are not as people expected them to be (a high-speed prostitution service LMAO) but rather surgeons of the soul, in that once you show enough restraint from vice and seek Lilith through astral travel (or evocation maybe!), you can be taught what it is to exploit the vital energies tied to sex and digestion. The idea is that once you show promise, one of the Lilim (popular plural for succubi/incubi nowadays) will show up and possess or work on your soul to fix blockages and things we seem not able to correct on our own.

So in conclussion, yeah dude, your experience is legit and ties to a lot much more, there is literature about it so you can rest assured in that knowledge. I applaud your efforts!

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