Ok so this is a short novel, and im trying to be detailed enough to give understanding but not so much that you all want to sleep from boredom.
When i was little before religion I had connection to my guides/daemons, full connection to my natural abilities etc. Then came religion and that muted much after my first rosary. Went into trance and Jesus introduced me to the Catholic concept of hell and I knew from age 6 that is where I was going.
So fast forward 11 years, I had a Catholic exorcism at age 17, which was 14 years ago now.
This was brought on by an abnormal amount of weird shit that started happening to me after I began dating a dude who was Wiccan and claimed he was the Prince of hell.
Anyway, I ended up ending that relationship after the guy blew up at me (the irony of me saying that after I have talked about my current situation is hilarious).
Due to my extreme naivete and upbringing, I didn’t understand what all this stuff was that was happening so I started reading Catholic books on the angels and demons, well that was just loaded with the Catholic hate of magick and the occult which made matters so much worse.
So long story short, through that self imposed stuidity plus my own overly religious mother, I was convinced that the dude was planning on making me some kind of sexual human blood sacrifice and it scared me enough to get an exorcism.
So the stuff that scared me at the time, were things like having physical sensations of being raped in my sleep, I considered it rape at the time as I was still a virgin (not just any virgin but the kind that doesn’t even kiss until she is engaged type of virgin) I also had the feeling of being watched, I had a serious obsession over this guy, I would hear voices and just some other general weird, for me at that time, stuff. (Looking back now, i know the guy used some lust spells on my dumb ass)
honestly, I hope the dude is doing well because he helped me get to my current path.
Ok enough back story onto the exorcism. Durng the ritual a lot odd things occurred, belching and sweating etc. Then came the portion where they prayed for my afflictions to be removed, this is where a lot of my natural spiritual talents/abilities/gifts were severely dulled and I literally felt cut off from them (I realize now that a part of the ritual was cord cutting) this caused a shit ton of further issues for me. Mentally and emotionally and spiritually. I didnt connect the dots about cord cutting and all that in the beginning, until last 5 or so years.
So fast forward to the Super moon of Sept 13 2019, a friend of mine and another did a reversal ritual, which helped, but it was all Wicca and lighter magick. Which was awesome, but I feel was lacking on my part.
So all that blathering being done, I wonder if there is a more potent way to go about reversing it and getting back in contact with my gifts and guides?