Repairing/Restoring Relationships

This is a tricky one (for me at least).

Imagine a relationship you develop with someone online, which is kind of friendship to begin with, then evolves through joking and flirting and sharing of life events and aspirations into something almost romantic with carnal overtones, and involves months of daily messaging across the world, noises of exclusivity and commitment in anticipation of meet up…
…and then …all of a sudden, as if by magic (and I say that mindfully), there is withdrawal and confusion and it all goes cold, yet the evidence doesn’t point to an obvious reason, if anything it contradicts that, and points to something changing specifically between the two, that is elusive and ineffable, and does not fit the flow.
One party already believes they have fallen in love many months back, encouraged by the constant affection and flirting and expression of feelings by the other.

The former, maintains contact, although different. The latter flies literally across the world to see the former face to face for the first time just for a day, in new and less comfortable circumstances, The “connection” persists, like the residual temperature of warm coal. To extend that metaphor, there is apparently part of the fire triangle remaining, and with some changes or intervention, the fire could reignite and burn again. There seems to be uncertainty or reticence to stamp the smouldering remains out.

It’s difficult to even know what to call such a relationship, which makes it difficult to know what to do to repair or restore it. It’s not quite acquaintanceship, it’s not quite friendship; it’s not quite romance; it’s not quite dating; it’s not quite a fully formed partnership; it’s perhaps something like an LDR semi-relationship, an affectionship, or a potentialship.
Either way it was some kind of ship, and that ship seems becalmed, but not quite wrecked, and not sunk. It was an engaging adventure and a satisfying story, that seems to have ended abruptly, or perhaps it’s a hiatus or midpoint. So what to do with it? How to do anything with it at all? Can it moved backwards, forwards, sideways, up, or down? Is it imaginary, and can it become real?

This and many questions I have. Asking the right question is often the hardest thing; especially when it’s hard to define what you are asking about.


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Well can it simply be that on those circumstances one part simply believe ther is more to this ”friendship” then there really is?
Its all in the eye of the beholder, one of the 2 can develop feelings of a more loving nature towards the other as response to what is interpretated as flirtig and sinilary feelings from the other person but the other person might only do this flirtig for fun not to be mean or play with the othe rpersons feelings but perhaps the person dont see flirtig as such a big deal.
As for things changing that can simply come from the realisation that the other person reads more into this then oneself does and the retraction from it all is a simple way to try stop that process.
As to reverse it back to what it was, thats hard simply because then you would have to revert back to where you were and ”kill” of the romantik feelings that has developed and also the other person must be willing to rewind and pretend that never happend or simply dont care about it.

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Trying to be objective about it, there are two aspects to look at.

  1. I think it’s hard to sustain a charade or a bit of fun for such a “density” of interaction over a long time.

Both parties messaging each other almost daily, and many times a day for over a year, and with a very even split of which one initiates interactions each day. I think it’s hard to fake it with that amount of exposure, simply because people can’t keep track of or remember everything they say, so eventually any mask would slip, I reckon. You’d have to be making an effort to pretend which seems at odds with not really being that bothered. I think it’s quite common for what you describe to happen, but in a more intermittent way and over a shorter time period - I don’t know anyone bored enough to do that, unless they were stuck in jail or a ship!
I know people I’ve chatted to over many years, and the chat kind of comes and goes with blocks of time inbetween, now and again having a good catch-up, but not like every single day for months on end, that’s seems unusual to me, maybe something a teenager might do, but even then, not for that long!

  1. I think the overarching content of messages, the types of things people share and reveal, doesn’t lie

The content of messages, not simply things said that are kind of overt (e.g.: “I have feelings for you”; “I’m giving us a chance because I like you”, “I miss you too” etc…), and things inserted in the midst of other topics (e.g.: talking about travel, and “do you like me” squeezed in); but really the style and tempo of messaging: playfulness and laughter; bits of private language/symbols; the sharing of personal stuff not normally opened-up about, photos of themselves from childhood; photos of themselves posing or pouting. Ignoring specific content, but the kinds of content, look to me like all sorts of symbols and signals, hints and ingredients of some kind of bonding, can only be emotional or mental, if they haven’t physically met.
Not really like chats I’ve seen or had with friends or with people I hardly know off dating sites, which usually involve more direct speech, jokes, ranting, and stuff, and there’s lots of things you just don’t reveal, either because you have limited trust; or because it’s just not what your connection with a friend is about.

  1. It looks like a flirty affectionate dance that lingered on and on, are they “exes”? Was it an LDR? What?!

So, my sense is that it doesn’t really look like a friendship, it looks like something did develop between these two, and lingered for a while (it’s evident in the style, tone, content of messages), but one of the two didn’t really get what the situation was, nor take proactive action about it, i.e.: by making a clear plan, and going to the other’s country when the going was good, and the other seems to have cut their losses, rather than wait any longer - I mean a year or so seems quite long to drag it out. It seems a shame, because they seemed to get on well, and seemed to be thwarted by circumstances more than by any human element, which is a pity.

I’d like to see if there’s something that could be done with the embers to reignite what looked like a flame. The trouble is, is this a “bringing back of lovers” or “reconciliation of friends”? It’s not clear to me, that’s all.

Well not knowing all thats been talked about with the two i couldnt say.
If both clearly have romantik feelings for eachother then that would suggest trying to reignite that spark but If only one of them have romantik feelings then the best would be to ”repair” the friendship and then perhaps work on it more from there, all one step at a time.

So, in the context of this place, any recommendations?

Well one could allways try a magic approach, and one could try some basic strategier that might work aswell.
First of then whats the intention? Whats the desired goal or outcome, friendship or romantik relationship?

Could be either, but I guess in such scenarios, the tendency is to aim for romance.

What kinds of magic approaches might be appropriate?

Well first i would try te reestablish the repor that existed and work from there.
As for magic approach there is tons of things to choose from depending on what one likes. Different spells can be made, help can be asked for from different enteties depending on what one is familiar and comfortable with.
I believe Sitri is widely used amongst members of the forum for oncerns related to relationships and romance.

He is but more lust based. Sallos is recommended by many as he promotes more long lasting relationships and fidelity.
Rosier is quite the romantic, very gentle and really lovely to work with so I’ve found anyway.
But as mentioned by @Grimner there are many entities that after doing some research may assist.

Thank you both for responding.

It seemed to me that Sallos was recommended, but i imagine a subtle difference between all of them, and the aspects or flavours of relationships they tend towards. Ladilok may be more apt than Sitri, in this, not sure.

Thank you for the information abput Rosier. Idon’t know about Rosier, but i see there are discussions about them on here, a link to a sigil, and various instructions: they seem more apt.

I suppose you just write the sigil, charge it as described by ea koetting and then carry it with you? Burn it? Bury it? Hide it? Carve it into a red candle?

Perhaps more like Erzulie Freda, from the Voudun different paradigm? I guess there is no interaction or “collision” if such different entities are worked with?

I wonder about how to cause communication, interaction and meetings to happen? Seems hard to re-establish rapport without contact that grows.

well reestablishing report could be done by repeting what was done in the past and make sure to allways have a feel for the situation but its never a garanted succes. It depends on what causes the other person to backoff.
Well to cause communication one idea is to do workings to have the person allways focus on you and getting the urge to reach out to you that can play in well combined with you not beeing allways available.
So i would say get the other person to hunger after you, and hopefully planting the seed of meeting within that person and making them come to the conclusion or asking for that to happend.
Well writting the sigil, charge it and carrying it with you is one way.
Writting it on a piece of papper and place under a red candl dressed in some sort of suduction oil and inscribed with symbols to represent the desired outcome then charge that sigil and meditate over it each night while you let the candle burn a little more is another way.
Its much up to the caster, the working most resonate with you, if you feel you are only playing through the working and mumbeling some words then it means nothing.
Hope you find something that you feel is correct for you taht you can put inte practise.

Circumstances of the past can’t be repeated, they are one-off. The present and future will be too. The influences and options different. Repeating the same stuff from the past as though it’s relevant in the present or future, seems like an error. I’ve seen people trying to live in the past, because it was happier than the present, and it only really works if it’s a present or future *inspired" by the past - like a band going on tour many years after their salad days, it’s not the same, but it can be as good or better. The point that looking back and seeing what worked, does make sense, but I guess it has to be as input, not instruction.

In this case, two people got to know each other, when both stuck in situations, and they seemed to both enjoy the experience, perhaps as an outlet. The change came when change came, when the two were no longer trapped as before, and one failed to see the urgency of action, and the needs and wants of the other.
Now that does not make the situation unrecoverable, but it will be different. It was going to be different anyway, it had to be. The error was in not proactively planning for that. If action to enter the new paradigm is taken, then a new stage can happen that to some extent builds on the former stage, but it depends on both.

With all of this, it was born out of communication, and communication is one of the crucial ingredients; but not the only one - the environment/paradigm shift (be it a different mode of communication, or physical relocation), needs to happen to give the communication purpose. Maybe the third ingredient is sympathy?
Sympathy in the sense of softening of fear, uncertainty, and doubt; to give things a chance, to make a yes more likely than a no, which involves both parties becoming sympathetic to each other. This agrees with your first point of returning to the beginning, and how the relationship first emerged and grew. Can magic help?

Returnibg to the beginning was only meant to try use the past as a guide to rebuild the repor between the two and i also said that might not be possible depending on what caused the split.
A magic fix can be applied and probobly succesfully it depends on the circumstances ergo what obstacles to overcome.
Using a sort of suduction spell before everything went south would have been easier then fixing thing afterwards but hey as a magician one acknowledge that one is the master of once universe and that that witch happends depends on our actions or lack thereoff.

Seems like the split was just a misunderstanding or to do with reality checks and dragging things out too long. there might be other cumulative stuff, but no sign of anything dramatic or traumatic. Just a kind of sense of frustration/disappointment by one side: a chat-based LDR that didn’t seem to be manifesting in real life.

If the block is partly to do with geography, then it seems that needs to be addressed and resolved to contribute to the chances of change in the form of reconciliation and progress. A seduction spell probably would have been pointless without the two being in the same physical place at the same time.

I have clearly seen that relationships with humans other than self are worthless. I had done a couple of Tarot readings on myself that told me about lust and self love I did not want to heed the instructions from the spirit realm but its clear to me that the spirits knows best. I tried to build a relationship with a couple of women and its not worth it so I am stopping all lustfull desires and only working to magnify and manifest my self.