I didnt believe in an afterlife until I played with a ouija board. The very first thing I tried to do was haunt someones house who fucked me over. Immediately resulting in my own haunting. I threw out half of my belongings thinking they were a catalyst in the demonic possession. In my trash several of my neighbors went through my personal property. Inside was a phone. On the phone was private information, including my facebook, and a bdsm profile.
Within the week I began to recognize that the comments outside of my apartment window seemed extremely focused on me. Someone shouted my entire full name, someone else other personal information. I live in an area that is predominately black people, and Im white, and several of the units (those in offense) are tweakers.
It didnt occur to me until several weeks of the ongoing obnoxious comments that they had actually dug through my personal belongings in the trash, although I did see a bag of my documents ripped through and spread out on the trash cans once, the rest of the garbage was left untouched. Before then I had never attempted an evocation. It was nearly around this same exact time I found myself becoming more interested in Magick, daily researching the paranormal only a few months before, and for several years before that avidly an atheist.
I decided to see what evocation is like. So I wrote down a sigil from a demon that I thought could help with the situation which was Amon. I chanted his enns, and within moments I could feel a difference in the room. Very lightly and almost perceived as my imagination, I heard what sounded like, “Why is it you have called me?” Candles were already lit, incenses burning, I had no idea what an evocation really was yet, I swayed in my chair and in a sense prayed, or telepathically explained my present issue to the spirit.
I knew it was real because of how the room felt. I knew the voice I heard was not from my own mind. I heard what I thought was “It will be done”, and soon after I began immediately praying to Rafael to help for a migraine I had, before pulling myself out of my trance.
My headache didnt go away, and it didnt end with my neighbors. I wasnt sure if anything had changed but it seemed to feel more peaceful, at least for a day, and then the problem persisted. It was at this time I decided to attempt a more serious account of evocation. I made a circle with the Nabataean inscriptions written inside, I made an altar out of an old nightstand, wrote the sigil, wrote the enns, wrote instructions from EA on how to communicate with the spirit once arrived, I chanted the mantras, rocking myself into a trance, and begged Lucifer to come.
Im very sensitive to the spiritual dimension as Ive come to realize recently has been a close part of my life since childhood. Many have called it emotionally unbalanced or even mental illness, I realize at this time not only is it not a problem, but any time I want I can look into a different looking part of the room, sometimes I get premonitions and signals, some could relate it to your imagination, it is in another realm of existence the average human mind never sees. Lucifer was LOUD and definitely present.
I knew for a fact it wasnt me. Still at this time I was not educated on the art of evocation. I tried to look for the manifestation of Lucifer. I did not set up a triangle, my altar faced East, and all I knew was what I was doing would seem crazy to anybody else I knew or anyone around saw me, and I, one hundred and ten percent, got a message.
I clearly understood what I was hearing and channelled some of it. Sometimes I wasnt sure if it wasnt just thoughts I was having, and maybe part of that is because that happens when you channel as I quickly understood. But what I channelled moved me to a point of tears, and I said things I wouldnt have even known to say at any other moment right then. I kept looking to see a face. I rolled my eyes, did what I could to attempt falling asleep while holding myself awake.
Definitely there was a tremendous energy that knocked me down while sitting a few times, and my breath seemed like I had just ran a mile at moments. At one point I lay face down hearing Lucifers energy and my lungs were so crisp it was if I could take a breath nonstop of clean air that renewed my organs with refreshing blood. He helped me slow down my chanting to one letter at a time. As soon as I got through his enns once and said the word Lucifer was the very first loud “I AM HERE”, unmistakeably there was.
I know it wasnt as an evocation should be, I know that its possible I was under the impression it had worked but was only my psyche, but what I do know for a fact is that there was a huge difference in my body, my actions, my words, and my thoughts. I knew with all my heart that it was true, and when it was over, with all my heart, that it worked.
I had asked my questions, felt through my answers, some written, some channelled, some not answered right that moment. I could have sat there all night in that peacefull state of mesmorizment. The incense began to run out and the smoke from the neighbors apartments began to fill my closed up room with a stench. I had to end the ritual and clear the air of the room. I sat at my desk unsure of what had just happened.
It was right after this I came upon a mass collection of occult books for free, as well as a majority of EAs books. I found myself immersed in research and making more sigils. It was only one day later I had my first astral travelling experience. It was almost as if I were making it up at first describing sad emotions recording on my webcam. I decided to just keep going with it. Eventually I was being escorted from rooms, to buildings, to planets. I didnt believe what I was seeing, I almost laughed as I felt I were telling some sort of fairytale as I detailed each event out loud.
First I was in a purplish cave with a gorgeous baphomet creature. It was a cave full of fear though those who were present were all united of fearlessness; they sat around a large circle backs to a pit, seated in thrones. A few moments after discerning what I saw I was shown other images (I dont exactly recall at this moment), however what made this experience profound was seeing a giant planet approaching I expect was Jupiter. There was a massive argument amongst a crowd of some kind of beings that werent human, but seemed to carry on as a political squabble. As I was looking at this event and describing all my visions what happened next I will never forget.
I was looking up at one of the beings standing atop an elevated position. He seared down at me with utter hatred, and I felt as though he looked like the lion from the Wizard of Oz, and I knew he hated me without merit. I stared into his glaring eyes what seemed endless and his figure did not even break a fragment of movement as though he were a frozen statue, and at the same time exploding with the force of every emotion.
Slowly I began to retract from this vision. At this point it was clear I wasnt having a fun imaginative conversation with myself. It was at this time I heard so deeply and as if it echoed, “Astaroth”, and I responded by writing anything I could hear, which followed with, “give my everything daemonic rite”, and then, “speak the names. Fastos”. Or something that sounded identically similar to that, even though I was never aware of channelling before this is what I felt I heard and have written.
I decided to began researching Astaroth, and what I found really surprised me. In the vision a building I had seen was identical in one of the descriptions of Astaroth, as well as finding (he)r symbol is a lion, and she had been the reason over a squabble amongst gods, also that could have bene related to Astarte or Ishtar, the more I researched the more it became clear to me I was not making up this story in my head.
Still completely ignorant on evocation I decided to attempt my first invocation. Doing the best I could I put Astaroths sigil on a pillow case that I set in the center of the circle. Following the same steps of my previous evocation, and this time cutting myself to sacrifice blood. A similar trance came over me and I lay on the floor begging Astaroth to possess my body and give me the guidance to the Lake of Fire.
The energy wasnt nearly as thick as so with Lucifer. There was a significant difference in the physical embodiment of myself though. At one very startling point I knew I was being shown a vision and naturally unwilling, I began to whimper and a feeling of terror overcame my body as I began to shake all over. Easily I could have screamed had I the sense to disturb the neighbors. As I held back a scream in my mind I said, “I am holding you back?”, and telepathically I heard, “Yes”.
I saw a dragons face with the mouth of the entrance to an underworld entrance, I saw what looked like a beautiful creature in the pitch blackness of my eyelids, staring as deeply into the fold of the carpet and the rug I slumped over, into the visions absent of light. Suddenly I was exhausted enough to fall asleep. I literally fell asleep right there on the floor. I awoke to hearing the word seamen, and myself verbally speaking, although it was audible to me, as I awoke I was not speaking.
I just felt strange is all I can say. I didnt feel possessed, but I didnt feel like myself honestly, I felt like I was making the whole thing up, seriously. I didnt speak for a while. I sat at my desk continuing with my day as if normal and completely mute. I made some food, ate, read online. At this point I may add I starved myself before each evocation until my stomach would grumble before I preform the ritual. Shortly after the relaxation of eating and reading, I stood up, walked near the circle on the floor and suddenly began to violently shake and jerk myself around as if I were trying to get bees out of my clothes, for about 45 seconds.
As soon as I did that I lay back down in the circle and suddenly became aroused. I masturbated myself to orgasm, once complete I sat back at my computer desk then was able to speak again. I began speaking and carried on the day as though I hadnt just begged an ancient spirit to possess my body and chant a weird alien demonic language in front of candles, incense, and Magick circle.
Since then I have left the sigil up of Astaroth and become very fond of literally every bit of information I can find on (he)r. I know Astaroth is supposedly male, though everything Ive found so far seems to be very versatile with even the terminology of the name Astaroth itself, so I prefer to use the feminine pronouns. I know there are those who will tell me Im mistaken. I dont think Astaroth minds.
I decided to study before I continue with the evocations. My neighbors were still causing me headaches, quite badly infact. In between this research I learned of calling upon the Powers of Darkness to kill my enemies. At this time I began to do this. My neighbors were continually making a ruckus over my drs paperwork, and the phone they had found, shockingly after as much time as passed by. As I researched evocation I began throwing curses at the different apartments I could see were being the most obnoxious.
It didnt feel as though it was working, but Im beginning to see that it is. Both apartments I used the most will and intentions at their units have not been seen for several days. I have just discovered alot of the noise is coming from another apartment as well and that is what inspired me to write this experience.
A few days ago I kneeled at my altar (now facing South) and chanted the mantras with incense burning, and candles lit. I said Astaroths enns one time and before I finished she said “stop it.” I stopped and heard “sit up”, I did, I found myself staring into my very small sphere of obsidian and scried into it. I chanted the other mantras and let myself scry everything in my vision. In the obsidian I saw what looked to be a 3 eyed white ghostly monster. In the walls I could see shapes and images. Almost demonic looking, but not an evil sort but horned and angry creatures.
Ive seen these visions since I was 19y when I was heavily involved with psychedelics. Im not going to get into any of that here, but I attribute to my current state of hallucinations any and all times for this period in my life, although ever since I can remember I would talk to my parents about ‘seeing things’ that werent there. Ive take all kinds of medication to dull this effect, but have found medication only causes it to become distorted.
The images led me to fingers that also telepathically told me to write down what I was praying at the altar moments ago. So I did. I, what appears to have written, is a sort of pact that I finished with signing my full name in blood. In this pact I had written the four demonic gatekeepers names as well as several other I was drawn to for different reasons at the time. I asked to be taken to the Lake of Fire, I asked to be given my place as a God amongst the Gods. Once it was done I went back to the altar a day or so later and read it aloud - at this time is when I signed it.
I was told very noticeably clear to make the sigils of all the spirits I had written this to, and to return when I was called to do so.
Over the past few days I made all the sigils. As I made Paimons my head was so lightheaded I had to let it rest on the back of my neck. As I regained energy I was instructed to type out the pact I had written. It was clearer to me aswell after I saw it typed and I also edited a line or two in the revision. Since then I have yet to find myself back at the altar, excited a bit, and diligently waiting. As this point in the journey I have found to select a list of spirits I would like to contact and began writing all of their sigils and researching them each specifically. As I have done this I have found myself incredibly fond of Moloch.
As I am learning about Moloch I have found myself enthralled in learning of ancient deities, and it is at this point I realize that my neighbors are incomparable swine. Whatever they can possibly say about me is nearly next to the dirt at my feet, if even so worthy to be dirt. They are the hands that dug up the trash, to learn about me, of course, because I am so much greater than they, and not only greater, but their insults are an act of praise to ever-so mention I exist in their meaningless lives. The more I study at this moment the more I am raised out of this apartment into a higher understanding of the very near future of this path.