It hadn’t been the best of days, and the living demon within me was crying out to be heard. Everything was angering me to the point of rage and I could the feel the darkness gathering around me. The shadows crowding round, urging me to pick a target for this hate that was growing inside of me, which was on the peak of overflowing.
All of a sudden the bus that I was on pulled into a bus stop. There was only one person standing at that stop, in the rain, smoking a cigarette while staring right at me. Cunt, I thought to myself.
All of a sudden it dawned on me. This was the target that had been chosen, the outlet for my hate.
I knew I had about 10 seconds if that before the bus would take off again and I wasn’t going to miss my chance. I moved my right hand to face the window on my left side, directing the palm straight at my target.
My third eye started pulsing, throbbing, anticipating what was to come. With one breath, I released all of the anger and hate that was inside of me into my target. It was a massive release of energy for such a short space of time. Within 5 seconds, he’d turned white and released his gaze from me with a confused look on his face. The last I saw, he’d started mumbling to himself.
As the bus pulled away, I felt a serene calmness descend upon me. An absolute sense of peace, power and well being. It was his problem now, cunt.
That sounds familiar. When it happens to me it’s usually when I’m about to be pushed over the edge and I’ll start to see these black dots around the person. Some doctors tell me it’s high blood pressure but almost everytime someone actually reads my blood pressure it takes a couple tries because the machine won’t pick it up. But anyway I’ll channel my rage towards those black dots and usually after that my target starts freaking out in some way. It’s all a visual experience and all I do is look at them and think about it but afterwards I always seem to feel really calm and alert.
Oh yeah. Here in the states they’ve got this program called Job Corps and it’s pretty much like an internment camp for inner city youths instead of just sending them to prison although they have people that voluntarily recruit other kids so it doesn’t look so much like a prison. I wanted to get my GED and that seemed like the best option cuz they were offering to put me through trade school at the time there. What they didn’t tell you during the recruiting phase is how much racial tension there is in those places.
Anyway. While I was there a bunch of trouble makers in the same wing as me decided it would be fun to start shit with the only 4 white kids in that wing. One guy got a blanket party and another kept getting dead animals under his sheets when he went to bed. No one really messed with me until one day we were coming back to our dorms from class to get ready for dinner after this meeting thing everybody in the wing was supposed to attend. The kid who had gotten the blanket party started getting harassed in the hallway and he snapped and punched a picture frame on the wall and cut his hand open and while I was watching that someone smacked me in the back of the head. That set me off.
I whipped around to find a kid I’d boxed with a few times looking at me with his eyes as big as half dollars and all I could see was his face with those little black dots whizzing around his head. I started moving toward him as he backed away trying to push at me but he seemed to get weaker and weaker with every step he took. It was like a three year old trying to push a semi truck after about five steps and his voice kept getting more shrill and fearful and as the last of my anger left me I could hear him begging me to stop.
Immediately after I registered the words stop I realized he was pale white (and for a half black half puerto rican kid that’s pretty difficult) and on his knees shaking and looking up at me. I hadn’t touched him but everyone in the hallway had stopped and was staring at us like I had been killing him.
After that I took a deep breath and walked to my dorm room, changed clothes and gathered my thoughts and went to check on my friend before heading to lunch.
That wasn’t the end of the crazy shit that went down in that final week there but it was certainly the most intense part for me.
I’ve done it to inanimate objects. I actually used to have a rock I’d channel all my negative emotions into. Hematite is supposedly good for that although that wasn’t the stone I was using. I can say there is something to hematite because every time my mom has some on her it ends up cracking after a few days and she’s the most negative person I know. lol
As for what you said about as little conflict as possible I don’t go around looking for trouble. In that instance I was standing up for myself after being provoked. I’ve done the whole looking for trouble thing and I’ve been down that road and had my fill of that part of me. You’re preaching to the choir fluffy.
Sometimes people will do things like that. A lot of people who start out in psychic vampirism will practice on random strangers It may be wrong but some see it as necessary in their development. I can’t judge nor will I. We’re all capable of doing harm to others and sometimes our emotions get in the way of our judgement. It’s not really our place to condemn the actions of another because we will never be able to stand in their shoes and say we wouldn’t have done the same thing. I’m not trying to be hard on you just putting in my perspective.
There’s two reasons why I disagree with your post Fluffycatz.
I’m Black Magician. I can and will take it out on random people as much as I please, sometimes for a reason, sometimes just for the fuck of it. Its my universe to command as I see fit and the only justification needed is the will to act.
When you’re deeply allied with demonic forces, they often end up choosing targets for you.
I’m not trying to an ass Fluffycatz but this is the Black Magick section
In the words of the great, the wise and the evil Uncle Chuckie “I can do whatever I want because who the hell’s gonna stop me”
@ fluffycatz: That’s a mentality to let go of and fast. It’s unhealthy and unproductive. If you see yourself that way then figure out what qualities about you make you feel that way about yourself and change them. Magick is all about empowerment and becoming the greatest possible being you can be. Putting yourself to be less than a worm is just plain self destructive to you, the people you care about, and everything about your life.
Honestly I think her energy would be best spent moving those people out of her life. Harming people that make you feel worthless isn’t really worth the time and energy let alone the paper the sigil is drawn on. It’s saved best for those who stand in your way and work against your best interest.
Ah the whole parent thing. Yeah it’s tough, I know where you’re coming from. I was stuck in a horrible home life for a few years. Hang in there, just remember, you’re better than this.
Seeker and Kitari I read about an exercise very similar to the events you describe. You take all the negative energy your feeling visualize it as a black ball and slam it into the third eye of the person of your choice. The person who described the exercise said that when he has used it the people bothering him almost always left him alone rather quickly and seemed to try to avoid him as much as possible after that.
Interesting that you say that Wandering Fool. Some years before that incident I was reading High Magic by Frater U. D. and there was a passage in there that stated looking at someone directly between their eyebrows insighted some unexplainable paranoia or something to that effect. I’ve practiced that technique with varying degrees of effectiveness and now you’ve got me curious how much one can control the perceptions of another by manipulating that chakra.
On a non-magickal note, simply looking at the top of someones forehead, way above the third eye, is a very good technique for gaining control of the conversation and the emotions of others. I had a friend that used to do this to me without realising. It was a natural defense that had developed automatically. He was kinda freaked out and lost his footing when I recognised this and did it back to him one day haha started stuttering til I removed my gaze from there. Felt sorry for him then, poor guy haha