Re: I need help I've started something I don't know how to handle

What type of pact? Sometimes they can be changed some.
My first pact was to be his collared submissive. Which i do not regret. Ive learned if you talk to him he is usually willing to reevaluate things. Ive been through two pacts with him. And now there is no pact Im just his.
I made that choice. But I also know i can tell him if something is starting to be too much.
So i really think you should talk to him. Also Beelzebub seems to have away of talking to him that seems help him look at things from a different angle.
Hope this helps you somehow. :slight_smile:

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I basically gave him free range to do what is needed to make me stronger and teach me but this could have very bad possibilities

Have you ever tried doing meditations and working with your chakras. It really sounds like you should balance them. Plus it calms the mind.
Have you tried taking anger management? Stress balls are great too. But if you keep feeling intense aggressiveness maybe you should see a doctor. Could be a medical issue.

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One thing ive learned is Azazel is very big on being healthy physically, mentally. Emotionally, he really pushed keeping yourself healthy.

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I kinda grew up with alot of stuff to make me mad and such but if like my dad hit me and I showed anger it got worse so I learned to store it. and that’s why it’s so bad. aggressiveness really became prominent when I first started trying to work with demons like when I was 13 I summoned Set now I’m 18 and just starting to learn the actuals of everything

In my Opinion, Keeping Emotion inside is never a good Things, and thus Azazel most probably try to teach you to release those Emotion, but in a Safe and secure way for you, This is my Opinion, I know he can be very Strict but he is a Wonderful Teacher

I went to him after watching hinges some of the videos by E.A. because I wanted to grow stronger but I dont want anything to do with lucifer for some reasons in the past and figured Azazel would be perfect because I also want to learn weapon making and tactics as well as how to lead. he seems to guide me in a good direction but I’m just worried about if taut side of me comes out.

See I had that peoblem too. If i ever tried to defend myself i was being disrespectful and a brat and needed to be punished so i totally get what you are saying. Somethings to this day i have never told anyone . the abuse was hell.

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Quick note to say I’ve split this into its own topic, because we try to keep the Q&A just for questions and not so much as threads - Ardinos, you have some real inner strength there to be looking for ways out, I do not believe Azazel will find cause to be a dick about this, given the steps you’re taking and the circs, but I can’t speak for him, and anyway you’re getting some great input here so stay strong, and keep the faith in yourself!

Azazel is, after all, the dude who gave us this:

I don’t want out of it I just need to know what to do to make it where I’m able to be growing and have more control in this

Can you give Azazel (and share here only if you want) specific goals, things he can start the underlying machinery working towards?

I have told him my goals and he’s working on that but one of the things he is doing could have a very bad effect on my life

Do you have a clear idea what you would prefer him to do instead?

he keepsaid saying I need to become one? and the part of me I keep put away it’s like he is slowly letting it out. I can tell cuz I can be prefectly happy then just a spike of rage comes up and it’s all I can do to stay under control

He’s not wrong, but what I’m wondering is, what would be a helpful way that you can think of, which is also realistic, for this to happen?

What would it take, in terms of external factors (support, resources, whatever) for you to integrate with that emotion and express it in a way that won’t have unwanted consequences?

And also, as importantly, what would it take from you, in terms of actions, and also beliefs and other internal processes, for you to be willing as well as able to find healthy ways to become one with the part of yourself that you are ciurrently (and totally understandably) keeping under tight control?

it’s almost like I’m too people t he one people see is easy going with a slight temper …but the other one is primal like it has a hunger for violence and wants to just cause chaos so I have to keep it put away but Azazel is saying I need to like mix 50/50 with it which that is fine but whenever it’s come out in the past hasn’t been good and I don’t think the two half’s becoming one would be a quick process so I’m worried it’ll have a bad effect on my life lately with the spikes I am habing to either drink to stop it or stay away from people

I really think getting some kind of professional help here would be right at this time, because demons, even the literally godlike ones like Azazel, can sometimes miss the fine-print of the human social contract.

Can you ask Azazel as a matter of urgency to place resources in your life, so that you can get that guidance?

I am certain something exists out there which can help you to integrate and reclaim the power that you’re having to sit on just to keep it from wreaking havoc - it’s just a matter of finding it. And that’s where magick can be helpful.

from what I’ve seen of Mr E.A. I got that there was two main powerful teacher like demons Azazel and Lucifer for the goals that I have I went with Azazel because of a terrible thing with Lucifer when I had first left Christianity and Azazel seems to understand my goals but it’s like he kinda favors the side I keep put away he’s today me be aggressive and if you want power you have to take it and to use my rage but I don’t have a way to be able to let it out that’s stable I want tone follow what he says but I know what that side is capable of and I don’t want to end up in prison

Ahh “rage” what it is sounding like to me is what he wants is for you to learn to focus that “rage” anger into somthing productive to use it as the “steam” to power the engine to achieve the chang you want

I myself have to keep my anger in check. If you would like I can share some things that help me.

you might be right bit I don’t know how