Rant and the first thought that comes to mind

So I awaken this morning to my gf of 5 years sobbing in my kitchen, my first reaction is to see whats wrong. I’m met with a cold response and harsh criticism. Things with her are always up and down, she suffers from a detachment syndrome due to adoption not to mention is diagnosed bipolar with refusal to seek actual medical help. So I’m used to this even though it hurts me, because when i try to help or be there (and i am there whenever shit hits the fan, not that long ago she had caused serious self harm due to an argument with family to which i ditched work to get her and bandage her up). As always I’m met with insult, degrading comments, and ultimately a sense of futility that I’ve come into conclusion is never permanent and she comes back.

Well again she “breaks up” with me, because an old friend had rejected her friend request. I’m mad and hurt over the situation, to that I just drove her back to her mother’s house and said nothing. I didnt have anything to say that wouldn’t turn the situation even worse than it was. She has been suffering greatly mentally and physically, and her escapism into a delusional reality of the world against her wears me thin. Yet I can’t stop caring, can’t stop wanting to help and be with her. Its stupid on my part. Its stupid to try and mend things again and again only to continually be burned by the fire. I don’t know what to do anymore, I cursed her name as i drove away, I don’t know what to do anymore. I love her, but I’m tired of dealing with somebody who has so many toxic attachments and has refused any help until all has fallen around her. I thought maybe doing a freeze jar on her and a sweet jar to help fix things, but honestly I’m not sure anymore. Maybe I’m too attached at the moment and clouded by my own emotions. I guess I’m ranting because without her I’m alone. Completely alone and nobody to help cope with these feelings, I’m used to being alone, but something with her has hurt me more than anybody has hurt me before.

So I ask for some advice or maybe just an outside perspective on the subject. I’m just at a loss at the moment and processing my own emotions.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. It sounds painful and stressful.

You are enabling her mental illness by not urging her to seek help.

She needs help, not magick.

You might be codependent. You can’t fix her, she needs to learn coping skills to help herself.


I did get her to fill out a medical form to seek treatment just recently. Its doubtful to whether or not she’ll go. But I can see how the codependent attitude of both of us can ultimately be a toxic attribute.

Edit* actually thinking back pushing her towards getting help had been a recent issue. I kept suggesting counselors and doctors ive seen as well as telling her there’s nothing wrong with treating an issue, I had to do it myself with behavioral medication and counseling. But the point was mute and ill received,

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I mean this with respect and concern, but maybe you should talk to someone? It sounds like she is unwilling to seek help at this point. It might be a good thing to reach out for help to change your thought patterns here. She is pulling you down with her. You say you’ll be alone with out her, but are you really living right now? Are you walking on eggshells while trying to prevent another meltdown? Are you tired of the insults and snide comments?

Google “trauma bonding” and see if this sounds like your relationship.


I’ll give you good advise. HOLD

Exorcism is of two types, the exorcism of places or objects, and the
exorcism of persons. A possible third type, the exorcism of an-
imals, is rarely encounted and seldom worth attempting, it being
extraordinarily difficult anyway. The exorcism of persons does not
invariably presuppose that some external entity has taken over the
candidate’s mind. We are quite capable of manufacturing our own
demons through bad mental habits, or in response to peculiar
forms of stress. It is only worth attempting exorcism as a cure for
madness if the patient specifically complains of some sort of
infestation by a seemingly independent entity. Additionally, it is
only likely to succeed if the possession began comparatively re-
cently. As the witch doctors say, a man with a bad soul, a long
term mad case, cannot usually be helped.
The conventional religious form of exorcism seeks to replace
one obsession with a larger and more powerful one. This involves
invoking a god to cast out the demon. This can only work if the
candidate has been brought up to fear or revere a god. The exorcist
must invoke, and to some extent, actually personify the candi-
date’s god using all the symbolic words, actions, and paraphernalia
that go with it. Then he must command the candidate to abandon
his obsession if necessary by quite forceful behavior. It may be
useful if the exorcist makes a show of actually removing the
demon. Some form of symbolic trickery is often used at this point.
Psychiatric methods of head doctoring are still incredibly
primitive. Most depend on carrot or stick techniques. Carrot
therapy depends on being as nice and reasonable as possible to the
patient and is sometimes effective over a long period. Stick ther-
apy derives from the medieval practice of flogging demons out of
people. In these civilized days, it is usually administered with
electricity, the scalpel, or the hypodermic. Its effectiveness is
The techniques of freestyle shamanism offer an alternative to
the religious and psychiatric methods. Instead of invoking the
candidate’s god, the exorcist invokes and personifies the candi-
date’s demon. This approach may be particularly useful with a
non—religious candidate. After observing the candidate for some
time, the exorcist will take him to some secure place and ensure
that he is at his complete mercy. Then the exorcist takes the
candidate through a tour of his private hell. Foul and acrid
incenses may be burned; weird flashing illumination and smoke
can be employed. The exorcist behaves in a weird and threatening
manner, throwing back at the candidate all the peculiarities he
has exhibited himself. Effectively, the exorcist terrorizes the
candidate back to normality by showing him how far down the
slope he has slipped and how much further he might eventully go.
Gnostic techniques, that is, the generation of intense mental
excitatory ecstasy or alternatively extreme meditative quiescence,
are effective in the exorcism of persons. In either of these two
conditions the mind becomes hypersuggestible, which explains
their use in brainwashing. Now, many forms of possession have a
sexual or traumatic component. The mental energy associated
with sexual arousal or traumatic experiences can often become
diverted to feed an obsession until it grows into an independent
entity or attracts an independent entity. Indeed, this is one of the
easiest methods by which the magician can breed his own famil-
iars, elementals, and demons. It is only by returning to a similar
level of mental exultation by various physiological means that
such forms of possession and obsession can be challenged and
banished. The rite then consists of bringing the candidate through
a great catharsis, during which his consciousness can be repro-
grammed to reject the offending entity which has been built up.
The exorcism of places and objects is of two types. The first is
a sham performed in the presence of persons who require exorcism
themselves, but who are unable to come to terms with this fact.
The exorcist is likely to be summoned to situations where it is
obvious that the problem lies in the inhabitants of the place and
not the place itself as they protest. In this case, the exorcism is
performed in their presence with them as the actual target. The
exorcist will have to make some pretense of dealing with the place
itself, and in this he should ask the affected persons to assist him.
As they have already exteriorized the obsessing or possessing force
imaginatively, or sometimes objectively (as with poltergeists,
etc.), the next logical step is for them to take control of it.
If there are objective psychic phenomena, such as materi-
alizations, noises, sudden temperature falls, or objects hurled
about, the exorcist should not immediately conclude the presenceof totally extra-human entities. Humans are quite capable of
effecting such manifestations while being unaware that they are so
If, however, the magician can satisfy himself that some place
or object is infested with some psychic energy or entity, then a
great opportunity presents itself. Instead of banishing, entrapment
can be considered. In general, spirits can be coerced by anything
with highly ordered, low entropy structure — the focused human
will, magnetized iron, crystals, and to some extent, very pure
water being the most commonly employed agents.
The magician will usually begin stalking the entity by provid-
ing it with some basis of manifestation. Depending on his clair-
voyant abilities, he may employ darkness, incense smoke, or
hallucinogens to catch some impression of what he is dealing with.
A subsequent rite of entrapment centers around the use of a spirit
trap of which by far the most effective are crystals. Salt crystals are
often used more or less unknowingly in religious rites, but shamans
the world over prefer larger more stable crystals, particularily
quartz. Incidentally, ordinary salt is so good at picking up various
bits of random low level psychic debris that many witches and
mystics refuse to eat it. Consuming raw salt is somewhat injurious
to physical health anyway.
Entities may be coerced into crystals by plunging them into
the space occupied by a spirit if this can be determined. Coercion
by a strongly focused human will, assisted by prods and passes with
sharp magnetized iron instruments, can be effective —
particularily if the whole operation is concentrated by a ritual.
Banishment may be accomplished by simply forcing the
entity to leave, or it may be performed subsequent to entrapment.
Although it is very common, water is a very anomalous substance.
On the molecular level it is not entirely homogenous or random,
but possessed of a certain delicate structure which is very sensitive
to heat, radiation, and psychic ambience. It will receive a psychic
charge readily but will dissipate it equally readily. Hence in rites of
banishing, infested salt crystals are usually dissolved in water for a
few days. Another variation on direct banishing is to sample of water and simply splash it around in the vicinity of the
entity for its disintegrating effect.
The magician may encounter entities which are the psychic
remains of human dead. If these still possess any degree of coher-
ence, he may have recourse to various forms of unction as given in

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Liber null

get her to read some nlp books. it has help many people see that they can have control of their own thoughts and help them change thinking process. https://www.amazon.com/Get-Life-You-Want-Neuro-Linguistic/dp/0757307760 sometimes the one’s that don’t want help want help but not be told to get help. IF they read and learn about the mind, they might have interest and it will help them. sometimes you have to get them to think it’s their idea to get help. let them explore and read up on mind processes will help put those seeds in. It’s a way for them to explore options without feeling hopeless if others offer help. the book will be good for you too.


No offense taken, its good to take a critical look at things, and to have an outside perspective cast insite upon a situation. Well honestly it did sound a bit like the idea of trauma bonding, i wouldn’t say entirely but there were elements in there, the roller coaster of ups and downs is a tiresome ordeal. And while alone, and it does suck to have no physical people around me, it did give me time to clear my home of negative energy yesterday. To begin an evaluation of myself and her.
@anon37593562 actually I’ve read and that book back years ago when i decided i needed counseling for depression. I think I might still have it somewhere.

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your not suppose to just read. you suppose to do them exercises and apply. =o)

Get outta here, doing stuff… Yeah i think that’s probably a wise choice in taking steps forward for myself and well being. Probably would do wonders as well for magick and business

I was like your girlfriend at one point. I understand what she is going through, and I commend you for being there for her.

One thing I will say is that you can’t fix her, even though I know you want to. She needs to want the help and to be willing to work for it.

Magick saved me, but that’s because I worked it. I’m not sure if doing magick for her well being will be enough if she doesn’t help herself as well.

I hope you figure it out, and I hope she does too. Much love for you both :heart:


So a small update on this, I’m not going into the workings yet, when I do ill explain them fully in another post, but due to this month being entirely insane and destructive its forced active addressing upon perspective of both of our own lives. She’s currently being medicated by a good doctor and participating in counseling to help her and her family. I’ve pretty much seen most of my life go to the way side, I opened up my wounds and laid all of my shit out and have been addressing it individually to better myself, breaking down subconscious layers that held an attachment upon me physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Destroying addictions and what were essentially fantastical escapisms that prior to were meant to make me happy when in reality kept me limited emotionally. As this dive into my own shadow continues, our communication becomes more sincere. I dont know where this goes however and still yet remain hopeful for tomorrow even when I’m left with a crumbled tower.

A thought came to mind a few days back when reading a video preview/YouTube community post by @JD_Temple that hope was the flame that guides us through the labyrinth, only to find out upon our exit that only our shadow blocked the path out and the minotaur that tormented us was merely our reflection.