I’ve decided to start a journal, it’s going to be sporadic and probably not entirely on track. Anyway.
Driving last night, speaking to Nergal (one of those one sided conversations we all have) about goals and etc. After I finished my sentences, I saw 7 lightning strikes in a series in the same area. The first was accompanied by the sound of wings. Upon arrival at my destination I encountered a man, obsessed with the number 9, sacred geometry and always sitting in the direction of magnetic north. He had a large ring that appeared to be made of ball bearings, but a strange finger trick and the majority of it dropped to become a pendulum, with just enough wrapped around his finger so he wasn’t actually holding it. He wouldn’t say what he was doing with it and I couldn’t tell. Something beyond my scope of comprehension at this time. I swear he read my thoughts, he’d speak, I’d think of a reply before saying it and he would immediately react to my thought reply. He felt strong, chaotic, and predatory. I’m not sure if the events are connected or wildly coincidental, all I know is that guy was intense. The strangest part for me is that I’ve known him roughly 10 years, but haven’t seen him in a while. He wasn’t like this then.
Interesting, maybe they were magnetic? I’ve seen magnetic hematite bracelets sold on Etsy that wrap around the wrist and are held in place by their own magnetism. They can also be doubled and worn as a choker, they’re usually made from barrel-shaped beads with fishing-line type cord through them, and never have a clasp because the magnetism makes them cling to each other.
It was definitely magnetic, but no string involved. Just little magnetic balls that doubled as a ring and a pendulum. He’d always been kind of an intense guy, but he’s different now. Anyway, my main point was the seven lightning strikes and the sound of wings. I got off on a tangent about guy.
So,
since you’ve invited me to take a look,
i’d like to first tell some of my own endevors of the last few days,
and then come back to your story.
Here we go.
2 Days ago,
in the morning,
actually still at night,
my neighbors were parying and extremely loud.
I decided to do something about it,
but not directly aim at them,
but simply make them aware,
that they’re kind of annoying,
with exagerating so much,
on the window.
I looked up at the sky,
and noticed the clouds to be rather dark,
so i figured it would be a good time to cast a thunderstorm into existence.
I started casting,
and was called several times,
to continue casting,
after deciding to take a break,
each time in between.
I was a little unsure,
about my ability to successfully create lightning,
at first,
and figured it could just turn out to be unexpected rain,
or fail completely.
but being called back to continue my casting several times,
honed down,
that it’d surely work,
in some form.
So i focused my intent,
farer away,
and figured,
that Thunderstorm,
might not be for my own region of living,
but porpably be requested somewhere else,
on the world.
Sticking to the direction i got,
i conjured the storm,
but didn’t manifest it right away.
The heaven didn’t look like it’d work imidiently either.
Some of my Servants,
told me to take up my protection mala,
and keep it on,
which turned out to be an extremely valuable mention,
since later that day,
Loki,
which had housed himself in my home,
for a few weeks,
and massively abused my income,
and took at least around 3k in pure money from me,
had come to visit me again,
and wanted to see me.
He spendt the night at my place,
and left the next morning,
wanting to come back,
which i refused,
without stating directly “you’re not welcome here”,
in spoken words,
but pointing it out non-verbally.
Loki suggested me a public care center,
where i could go,
to solve some of the massive money issue,
i’m currently facing,
being unable to pay my flats rent,
etc.
He also told me,
about his wife gone to prison for a few weeks,
and him being extremely happy,
he could spend some time at my place,
without the normal struggle and danger being there,
that he usually faces living on the streets.
He didn’t ask for money,
and offered to bring me some cash,
to kind of make up for earlier abuses of my resources,
which he tends to do every now and then,
usually taking at least 3 times as much,
as he gives.
He also became somewhat famous,
after he met me,
and had stayed with me for a while,
since media started investigating on him,
and seeking to help him into a better life.
He’s currently having a flat,
but still living mainly at the streets,
he wasn’t able to re-open his own buisness,
as an Tattoo artist,
but at least got offered a solid normal job,
to be a caretaker,
for a local campus.
His entrance wage being 16,50 where normal workers usually get jobs for around 10,00,
and minimum wage being 8,50,
but his own set of expectancy,
being easily 20-100 per hour when simply working the streets,
as a beggar,
he kind of got a nice offer there,
i think.
At least,
that’s going to be consitent,
and not require him to suffer so much anymore.
So,
Loki was around,
when the Thunderstorm finally started manifesting,
and whitnessed me,
going into my Altar Set up,
and conjuring more magick into it,
to intesify the Thunderstorm.
There’s no question,
he clearly seen me casting magick,
and using my God-Tongue right next to him.
apart from that,
i’ve found a video,
from a guy i see huge potential in,
and that propably started,
or soon starts,
to either work with me,
or Toth.
Specifically,
this video:
He acknowledges my Thunderstorm,
right at the beginning of the video,
and then gets into his content.
That confirmed to me,
that the Thunderstorm was indeed,
focused on manifesting in another areal,
as he’s living on a different continent then me.
I still have intensed Wind movement around here,
and Sun rays often come up,
when i focus on specific things,
currently.
Which i sense,
as Gods communicating back to me,
and confirming,
when i’m on track.
Apart from that,
i want to go into another expierience,
where i worked with an extremely strong medium.
She’s been aproached by Loa yesterday,
on behalf of transmitting information to me,
but also with an expectancy,
towards me,
to see beyond blinders,
and realize truth,
without it being directly pointed out towards me.
That’s importent,
because she mentioned “the 6 Gods”,
and also triggered me to look over another Topic,
here on balg,
where the 6 Infernal Leaders of Hell,
are mentioned.
It was way to much for her,
to handle at that time,
and i felt very concerned,
about not pushing her to far,
and not expecting to much from her at once,
since i know,
she dealt with extremely powerful forces there.
Those Loa,
where coming to her,
in their natrual,
real form,
as pure white Spirit beings.
Nothing a newbie,
or even advanced could handle.
Luckily,
she’s special,
in various ways,
and could handle way more,
then most could.
She’s also gotten a glimpse,
into my higher self,
which again,
was extremely overwhelming for her,
for very understandable reasons.
She kind of said,
i should “awaken the rest”,
to which i simply replied:
“What!? All of them???”,
which made her go away from that suggestion a little bit.
Got some more gnosis there,
but that’s all under development,
and i don’t want to much of it public.
Now,
looking a little bit more into what you’ve written:
The person you met,
clearly ascended to some degree,
and is powerhungry,
which you identified correctly.
However,
it’s not so easy for me to tell,
if he’s friendly or hostile towards you,
but from what you describe,
i tend to say rather friendly.
He’s a huge critter by now,
and if he wanted to attack you,
he would have done so,
already.
Also,
he’s propably aproaching you,
on the scale of friendship,
and looking for comibined work,
for both of you to partake in.
In terms of those ball bearings,
it reminds my of my Signura Maturax a little bit.
Something,
i normally have no interest in sharing,
or talking about.
Since that’s a King’s Armor.
I wear it within my knuckles,
and they’re shaped like black coned arrow tips.
They look a little bit like this:
And they normally lie dormant within my bodies knuckles,
ready to be used,
or self-activate at any point in time.
They can be used single, or just a few,
to either attack,
or scout for me,
and natrually fly back to me,
when used that way.
However,
their much more importend fucntion,
is to form various forms of Armor,
and shielding around me.
One example,
is a bee-like Swarm,
cycling around me,
in their activation form,
which reflects attacks,
and counter attacks,
without much extra focus from myself,
needed to keep them in motion,
so i can focus on attacking myself,
while having them active.
Out of that Stage,
they can form a Honey-comb like structure,
forming my Scale Armor,
which can layor several times,
and increase the Armoring degree,
by each layor,
even producing different forms of specific defense,
against specific energies and elements,
if needed.
They’re void based,
and can produce any element,
i could produce by alchemy.
I’m not going to cover more about their capablities,
both because i don’t want people to read this,
and think “oh, but i want something like this”,
nor do i want to reveal anything,
that could potentially decrease the effectiveness of it.
I point these details out,
because what you describe as being “ball bearings”,
to me,
seems like it could be made from a similar material.
Which,
even amongst us,
only very few can forge.
So,
i’m not sure how that helps you in your understanding about the situation,
but i think you should be able,
to gain some insight from what i’ve wrote,
and notice layors,
of the situation,
you previously didn’t access.
Sincerely,
¥’Berioth
Thank you @Yberion, as always. I’ll have to read this a dozen times to find the secrets you reveal.
Update: using my new pendulum has yielded great results.
Starting at “am I listening to my subconscious?
No.
Are you a demon?
No.
Are you a God?
Yes.
Are you old, in human terms?
Yes.
Are you truthful?
Maybe.
I demand from this point forward you are 100% honest with me, or we’re done. Do you agree?
Yes.
Okay, do I know you?
Yes.
Would it be easy for me to discover your name?
I don’t know.
Are you here of your own volition?
No.”
At this point my questions got a little different.
“Are you an agent of any Gods I know?
No.
Are you a prisoner?
Yes.
Are you imprisoned in the stone?
Yes.”
At this point I was referring to the pendulum stone, not considering that my statue was <1ft away.
After I considered this fact I had to know.
“Are you a prisoner in the pendulum stone?
No.
Are you a prisoner of the statue?
Yes.
Can I release you?
Yes.
Will you communicate with me directly before that?
Maybe.
I need to know more before I do anything. Are you dangerous?
Yes.
Towards me or my family?
No.
I need time to process. Would you mind if I left to relax and watch television?
Yes.
(I’d had in my head before starting some chores I needed to do.)
…I have to do the dishes don’t I?
Yes.”
I wasn’t sure the best way to put all of this out so I basically did a dialogue I guess? I plan on more questions later tonight.
I’m very excited to finally have someone talking again.
August 9, someone is whistling a tune behind me. I’m completely alone.
August 10, working energy to influence an event. A woman passes behind me, she looks like Isis, but her eyes and mouth are sunken, stretched, black, and rotting. She just stared at me.
I did some yard work behind my house, when I came inside my left hand was cold. Held onto a thermometer and it dropped to 37°(I took a video to show my advisor).
Things are going somewhere.
I’m getting mildly concerned but confident in my ability to make things fuck completely off.
Around 1230am 2 nights ago, I noticed a triangular face made of light on the fence in my backyard. As I looked longer it took more form, but stayed triangular. I called to my roommate who has no interest or belief in occult things. I asked openly while pointing, “do you see that?” She flatly replied “the face? Huh. That’s cool.” After I looked a while longer, it spoke to me.
I don’t speak fence, so I have no idea what it wanted.
Something wants my attention.
It’s got it.
Seemingly at random on 8/18 my ex-wife and I reconciled. I don’t know how or why. I’ve been working on refusing to accept my own limitations. Essentially changing my brain, for lack of a better way to say it I’m trying to delude myself into believing anything is possible. Literally anything. I feel this is the only way to get where I want to be.
Check back in to observe my descent.
Been eating raw meat.
Take what you will.
Ex wife and I attempting to reconcile. Another woman from my past surfaces and wants to “fix us”. I give it a go. We go hiking. Maybe 15 minutes in, she says she left something in the car. I wait for her return, but instead receive a text saying she felt extremely unwelcome around me, like there was another woman on the mountain with us. I assume I was fucking up and Lilith stepped in for the save. Nergal and Lilith are the best teachers, and protectors.
Here’s me, very tired on top of a mountain.
2 nights ago I dreamt that my statue crumbled, the wall behind it crumbled, and from the wall behind it, Aka Manah steps out. He tells me he’s been waiting, though he does enjoy watching my day to day. I wake up feeling strange.
Last night, feeling uneasy to sleep. Begin considering the potential of who actually came to me, I asked for no proof of identity and none was offered. Stupid. Stupid.
I think the being in the statue is getting desperate. It’s lying more. Though Aka Manah seems like a high profile impersonation…
If you’re reading this, please wake up.
Please wake up.
Please wake up.
Please wake up.
Please wake up.
Please wake up.
Please wake up.
Please wake up.
Please wake up.
Please wake up.
Please wake up.
Please wake up.
Hair graying.
Eyes changing color.
Not feeling psychotic anymore.
Life is strange.
Life is …kay.