Questions I get about the BALG t-shirt

I’m looking for a good response when some Monotheist gets curious about my attire.

Currently it goes like this…
So I have been wearing the BALG t-shirt and occasionally get funny looks. Every now and then somebody asks a wise question, “Ok how?”

And I tell them, witchcraft and sorcery.

And they’re like, but that’s against god.
And i say, nope god doesn’t give a damn what happens, it’s his followers who have a problem with it.

“But the Bible says…”,
No, it’s bullshit written by man to control man. The bible is a collection of the recorded history of witchcraft and sorcery. There’s what the Bible says and then there’s Christian interpretation which fucks it all up.

The ritual of Christian worship is the same as the Ritual of Spirit Summoning, except that in Christian worship, Christians do not know the name of their god, so their worship doesn’t accomplish shit. And prayers are codensed worship, nothing happens either.

What Christians are really doing when they all pray for something is not change God’s mind, but it’s focused intention. The same that is found within a spell in witchcraft.

“God damn you”,
He can’t, but if you feel the need to enforce or defend an all powerful god then you are blaspheming your god by saying he is impotent and can’t do shit so you are going to make it happen for him.

But I’m 7’ tall and built like Arnold, I can do that.


Tell them to search for their own truth instead of swallowing the religious ejaculate they’ve been spoon fed.

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