Hi all, I’ve been having trouble actually being able to have a spiritual practice for some years and I’ve discovered why. I won’t go into detail unless necessary but I’ve changed my views a lot about the labels given to different beings/spirits.
I had decided to use Lady Eva’s Belial’s gateway for beginners in the last half/quarter of last year. I ended up getting sick for a while and that got put on the backburner. Well, Belial showed up in one of my meditations (I don’t meditate well but sometimes things happen) and told me he was waiting for me to do his gateway and he kind of made it seem like when I was better I should do it soon. He showed up in black shrouded attire and all I could see were his yellow eyes. He was very direct and no nonsense, not bossy, not intimidating, just very matter of fact.
I did his gateway but I didn’t think it was particularly successful and left it at that.
Recently, I was meditating again and I heard a voice and saw a robed/shrouded figure that said something along the lines of me needing to talk to/contact King Belial again. This time I don’t really think it was him, rather a messenger of his. He even mentioned EA Koetting’s other name (I won’t use it as I don’t know how well known his other name is) and I don’t really know what that part of the message was.
So, I’d like to just put it out there and ask, when on earth would King Belial be interested in me? I can’t see why other than I admit there are things I’d like to change in my life but don’t know if I can at this point, don’t have the motivation or strength at the moment.
You see, I am an elven conduit and my son has an elven and human soul. As a conduit I have become confused, scattered and feeling pretty lost. It is now nearly 13 years I’ve had my son and things have been rough from the beginning, he is no ordinary child and he also has Asperger’s and a number of other “comorbid” conditions that go along with it in many cases. It is really hard for me with the stress I am under with him as he is quite difficult now, coming up to 13.
As for King Belial, I’ve heard he can be both earthy and fiery, I’ve experienced his earthy side, felt his energy to be calming and solid, even had the experience of feeling cool dampness and literally smelling the soil (fertile, earthy smell). I know that is only one aspect of him.
Does the guy like a challenge? Does he like project people i.e people he sees a project in?
I’m a bit scared of him based on the fact (I’ve heard and read) he can be really tough and can destroy your life if he chooses and you don’t hold up your end of the bargain.
I consider myself very weak and not as resilient or able to bounce back as I used to. I do have some mental health issues and do take medications but am mostly sane I say mostly as this is subjective but I do have professionals considering me sane.
Is it best just to chat to him, get to know him? Or just wait and see what pans out (?), as I am just so tired lately.
I basically can’t figure out what he would see in me.