Questioning reality

So since this virus has been taking over everything I’ve gotten derailed again spiritually. Sometimes I find myself questioning reality and also others’ reality. Like I’ll see youtube videos of magickians I follow and they talk about all the different detailed experiences they have with various spirits and deities. I’m sitting here like - NOPE, never had anything like that happen to me…ever. I’m finding it harder to relate with these things. Not sure what I’m rambling about. It’s just I guess I’m jealous and frustrated over not getting to the “level” everyone else supposedly is, even though I’ve been studying and practicing magick for years.

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Everyone has their own pace,sadly, not everyone has the same skill, not in soccer, not in gaming, not in relationships, not in magick.Your stubbornness,desire to overcome everything,willpower effects this as well.

@DarkestKnight For example had struggle for years and years,but now he is one of the best mages in this forum.He continued, will you?

I know shit stinks that eveyone is contiuneing happy and you and only you get left behind.But honestly,everyone struggles.I mentioned DarkestKnight for example,go read his journal, he still struggles.Thats because he wants to share it,some people may not but everyone does struggle.

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Thank you for that encouragement!

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Come on, man, don’t compare yourself to others. It is okay to have your own learning curve, you surely have seen a kid who didn’t start talking until they were four years old and others that grasped (very basic but) full sentences at eleven months. 10 years later, both can talk perfectly fine.

And @Littleshart is right. As in social media, everyone will speak about their success, but few will be honest enough to say “Yeah, I totally failed at this thing I tried”. Don’t let a Greatest Hits album makes you think everything a musician has recorded is amazing.

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What do you practise?.. And how many years?

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You should focus more on self-knowledge and understanding what reality is I think.

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Well, I came from a Christian background. I left the Church and started studying the occult in 2008. I read everything I could, experimented with dowsing rods, tarot cards, different tools like that. Then I started studying many different magickal topics and took a few courses online. I went through an Enochian magick course and started getting into ceremonial magick. I did a lot of experimenting with meditation, etc. I got nominal results. All around this time I became fascinated with Wicca and read a lot on it and started practicing. Later I joined a coven around 2011 and was with them until about 2014 I think. I learned a lot through there but I felt like I was restricted and not growing fast enough, so I left. Since then I’ve been all over the place and now I’m into black magick. LOL

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Basically I still feel like a babe in the womb when it comes to magick. I feel like I’ve learned a lot but actual pragmatic experience I’m lacking in.

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Well you need to go to the core of magick
Shamanism would be very ideal for you… Ohh and mostly I’d advice you to minimise the study increase the practise…personally I have never understood what ceremonial magic is lol

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Magic is just, another term of manipulating energy… Sensing energy and directing energy… Once you understand these aspects and embody them you’re, good to, go

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You know that is something I studied for a while as well. I felt like I had good results with it, but at the same time I kept questioning if I was making stuff up in my mind or actually getting somewhere…

Well there, certain things, you needn’t, give up… Your imagination for instance… This will be a, vital tool

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Start up with the basics… Check one these

•Breathing exercises
•drawing in energy (preferably solar)
•feeling energy
Sound meditation…

Lol I have lots of leads I’d help you with

All great ideas. I guess I just need to work on mastering one thing instead of jumping around. That’s something I struggle with.

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Yes… Self analysis on this, path is, critical too.
People have had impressive results with this… Works out for people… Know this and bridge FHR gap…

But damn… Those are solo many years to you’ve been on though… Lol

Just don’t fall for people trying to appear super deep and more interesting then they really are. Otherwise stay skeptical.

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A major problem I have is I basically have ADD magickally. LOL I cannot focus on one path. I find many magickal paths interesting, and I’m constantly jumping around. I don’t know how to focus!

look within your soul for spirituality. Your making the same mistake that millions of people are making. Looking outside self for spirituality. It’s inside yourself. Listen to the heart. Direct action with mind that are congruent with the heart. To know the heart, you have to do plenty self cultivation of self exploration which 98% of people don’t do. They too busy doing task related stuff to please others or to follow crowd or cult. lol Don’t matter what field u in. Just know that getting good with magick isnt’ spirituality. It can lead u to it through the process. It can be any field that you learn that help you be more spiritual. It’s all about your inside heart/soul. what makes you connect to it more?

If you read a lot of biography on wikipedia, you know that it takes time to get mastery. Look at all the actress that make several millions on a movie. U can see their bio of each movie they make and they don’t get rich on the first movies. they performance don’t get good on the first movie. It takes decades for them to be a money maker. You can see the same with famous singers. Look what they went through to get to stardom. It’s interesting as wikipedia chart their life and finance road of when they hit it big. sometimes it just clik in a certain yr and bam!! they skyrocket while the years before was very tough. But they keep at it. Sometimes i just do a search for actors’ or singers’ networth. Then I read their bio on wikipedia to see when they make the big jump in their income. You realize that all these people take time to master their craft. Of course you see some that make it easy due to connections.

easy way to do this is search person’s name and networth. That networth site shows up. then you get somewhat info on their income and then u read the wikipedia history of their life and compare timelines to when they make it big and timeline of movie/singer hits.

You get to see like a timeline of their income and timeline of movie. Same with singers. time line of songs and income to each hit songs. It really tells u that effort and luck and perseverance matters in learning anything to make it successful.

No skill can be learn in one time practice. Not if you want mastery. that’s seems to be the case for many newbies thinking they can get mastery with one try of magick casting /evocation/invocation. etc…

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Very well put. Thank you. You truly are a wisepup. lol

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tell that to all the newbies that argue with me lol.