In January and last month(May) this year, I prayed to Allfather from all my heart to give death to me… and now I think he has heard my prayers.
My physical and mental health is failing.
My rhinitis (cured by surgery three years ago) relapsed, and I think it has returned with septal deviation. I have developed unknown respiratory disease, unknown skin disease, and my body just got completely weak! I tried exercising and eating, but neither of them worked.
(Oh don’t worry dudes- my respiratory disease is not COVID-19. It seems more like lung and bronchial tubes’ problem)
About my mental situation… it’s worse than any other time in my life. I’m very sick with chronic depression and other mental illnesses which came with it.
What makes my situation special is that my failing health is because of my prayer success, and I’m only 23 now.
I thank to Odin the Allfather! He’s generous than any other entities I’ve prayed to before. No one f—ing entity listened to my voice but he did, and he is saving me from my miserable life. Death is what I’ve been wanted for myself since I was 12.
For those of you who would think my behaviors are not that of a warrior, fit for followers of Odin, I’m telling you that I don’t think I’m a coward.
I fought for my entire freaking life to achieve my goals and live better. I held tight of my dream to be a history expert, almost all my life. I had hopes that I would live better someday, and that I would meet my true love.
But my life is depriving me of my dreams and hopes, and I don’t think I should fight more because it seems certain that I will gain nothing from my life.
So I am tactically retreating.
I wanna tell all of you guys that I love y’all!
My guts are telling me that my remaining days are not long.
Odin did this with knowledge and foresight. He had a purpose in mind with his own ultimate sacrifice.
You my friend, do not fit that criteria. Not judging you BUT, praying to a god for death because of a miserable life seems like your wanting an easy way out. From what I read, your having a miserable time of that too. If Odin granted your wish of Death, you would be dead already.
The fact that your not suggests a higher purpose for your life. “Help others through their pain”, that’s the message I was told to give you.
Don’t repeat your past mistakes and forge ahead. There is much for you learn about who you are yet and exactly what you’re capable of. I will tell you, you have no limits. I would like you to seek some professional advice for what your going through.
Who have you reached out to on the physical plane?
I’m in a situation where I’m thinking like you. My dreams hang by a thread as I bank on a miracle to keep them alive. If things go south, I would choose death also. I don’t consider it retreating, I consider it victory over my enemies so that they know I got the last laugh and they couldn’t place limitations on my life. Good to know Odin listens. I don’t have the money now to off myself in the way I’d like, but your way sounds just fine to me! Harder to rub it in their faces, but it still works.
In the meantime, I’m using baneful magic to kill them first so that I might live. If anyone wants to assist, PM me. Great for practice, I guess.
You’ve still got so much potential. Everyone is struggling with their goals but those of us that don’t give up on them well we achieve success somehow or the other.
But if this us truely what you want, I wish you nothing but peace in the afterlife