In January and last month(May) this year, I prayed to Allfather from all my heart to give death to me… and now I think he has heard my prayers.
My physical and mental health is failing.
My rhinitis (cured by surgery three years ago) relapsed, and I think it has returned with septal deviation. I have developed unknown respiratory disease, unknown skin disease, and my body just got completely weak! I tried exercising and eating, but neither of them worked.
(Oh don’t worry dudes- my respiratory disease is not COVID-19. It seems more like lung and bronchial tubes’ problem)
About my mental situation… it’s worse than any other time in my life. I’m very sick with chronic depression and other mental illnesses which came with it.
What makes my situation special is that my failing health is because of my prayer success, and I’m only 23 now.
I thank to Odin the Allfather! He’s generous than any other entities I’ve prayed to before. No one f—ing entity listened to my voice but he did, and he is saving me from my miserable life. Death is what I’ve been wanted for myself since I was 12.
For those of you who would think my behaviors are not that of a warrior, fit for followers of Odin, I’m telling you that I don’t think I’m a coward.
I fought for my entire freaking life to achieve my goals and live better. I held tight of my dream to be a history expert, almost all my life. I had hopes that I would live better someday, and that I would meet my true love.
But my life is depriving me of my dreams and hopes, and I don’t think I should fight more because it seems certain that I will gain nothing from my life.
So I am tactically retreating.
I wanna tell all of you guys that I love y’all!
My guts are telling me that my remaining days are not long.