For my first post into these wonderful forums, I simply would like to share a little bit about my journey up until now. It is also doubling as a second introduction post, so the community can know a little bit about me since I’ve been lurking and think I know a little bit about some of the members here.
My first encounter with anything outside that struck me as outside, was in a dream I had shortly after searching the origins of the name Nergal, and reading a pdf of the Ars Goetia. It was long and winding, but the moral of the dream was familiar setting, but a different meaning behind the setting. It ended with me looking into the face of a friend, but the eyes were black and it was ‘other’. I had researched and wanted (childishly) confirmation that spirituality wasnt shenanigans at that time, and asked for a definite sign. This thing in the dream told me, “be careful of what you ask for”. I got a little scared and calmed down a little bit after that lol.
I’ve been studying different things, but during my studies I was more concerned with checking out different things and connecting dots between ideals rather than actually practicing magick. The six years since that initial encounter has mainly been research of whatever tickles my fancy in that moment, and more recently a few unbound spiritual encounters.
However, I’ve given much thought to practicing magick lately, and the time has come to begin. The lessons being imparted on me are steamrolling, and i feel that ideologically, I can handle whatever plot twists get thrown my way. I remind myself that everything I think I know, could be ALL WRONG, and I’m cool with it. But I’m beginning to ramble, so here’s a few other topics, much more recent than my first dream encounter that I’d love to hear some other people’s opinions on (Any input or sharing is welcomed and respected, I love reading about other peoples journey, and their eureka! moments)
-Lately, since discovering this forum, a particular metal song that I like, but dont necessarily play that often keeps rising to mind. Reign ov Shemsu-hor by Behemoth. “O, Mighty Watcher, all art thou and thou art in thee. Free me from morals, intoxicate, with thy self love. Thou art the conscious one, break the monotony of existence, That I may illuminate!” I know its not just coincidental, because I haven’t listened to the song often enough to know the lyrics by heart. after another inspection of the song, Azazel and Shemyaza are mentioned by name. I am not opposed to the dark inherently, but I have some remnants of fear due to the general chains of misconception surrounding the occult. Any tips on transcending those fears which you are unaware of the roots of?
-Having found tips available here and elsewhere online, I am beginning to hone my energetic senses, but to be honest a lot of the time I feel like spiritually I am blind and mute. Daily effort is the only way to open my eyes, correct? Though I see progress, I have an underlying need to HURRY UP AND GIT GUD. Would that be a personal message from something that has an interest in me, overall message for those called to work the paths, or just underlying current of where I am? Has anybody else felt the underlying necessity of this work?
-When forum members on here refer to darkness, and infernal, how much emphasis is generally placed on the negative aspects? Basically, do most elements of darkness exhibit traits that sheep would refer to as ‘evil’, or is it more a representative of the Void darkness? If the Christian god is a manifestation of order out of the spark of light, what are some different manifestations/factions of darkness? Is demonic possession just an enacting of the contention between different entities?
-With my internal duality issues, lately, the negative side has been popping off a little bit. Generally, I possess a calm idgaf demeanor, but especially now I have a undercurrent of anger (from a lot of sources, a few of which are anti-establishment) that seems to stay pretty close to the surface. I feel that the undercurrents of anger can be directed spiritually somewhere, as though im meant to be fighting, but I dont exactly have a personal call to arms against anything.
-To end on a light note, I know a few entities already, but which entities are usually known for their affinity for dogs? Simply due to the fact I have an affinity for them.
If you got this far and didn’t TL;DR me, you have my thanks lol. I know i might have spewed a lot out onto one post, I am just glad I have people to share my experiences with, without dogma and having to discriminate/choose between RHP or LHP. Thank you for your time an whatever feedback you care to leave 
