Are you fat, lazy, stupid, ignorant, mildly retarded, have a cat with Down’s syndrome or own a dog that refuses to make eye contact with you?
If so I’ve got better news than a negative paternity test, right now you can pawn your soul HERE on this very thread! That’s right…it’s totally legit and worth it. I can make all your dreams come true!
Just post a comment and let ME give YOU the offer of a lifetime. Why sell or loan out your soul for high interest rates and shady small print.
Just comment below if interested and I will use my abilities to scry into the ether and see exactly what your soul is worth. I’ll reply back and if you agree we’ll get your soul pawned out faster than you can say “She’s 18 officer, I swear!”