[Onion's journal]

10th May, 2022

Thaumiel, Day 2

I dreamt that I was having a good time with my friends and cousins I think, then my dad called me to get something from “the” hospital. I went there, it was a wheelchair, my sister was also there. She told me to get into an elevator and after I went in she messaged me (tw// violence) that the lift was to be repaired and the one who went before me got his skull cracked.

I went in on the 13th floor, and I saw as the lift went down wayy to quick at odd numbered floors. 13, 11, 9, and so on.

After I came out unscathed my sister asked how I survived. I had no answer.

Then, it was holi. I wanted to ask a very attractive classmate of mine if he wanted to come with me to a friend’s house to play together. But before I could do so my mother came, dragged me away and started yelling at me for something.

Then we stopped by to eat something, now it was something I love (vada pav) and I was literally holding it in my hand, I took a bite and then she started yelling at me in front of everyone again. I was crying and then I woke up crying too, at 7:27 in the morning.

I had taken a nap in the afternoon, where I saw I went to a small eatery. It was very cozy and cute with air conditioning and I was getting ready for a date with my lover. But, BUT, I woke up.


Now, as you might have noticed, if not then do notice, the change in my profile picture. I usually pick profile pictures I resonate with but this time I’m doing the opposite thing.

I’m gonna use this profile photo as a virtual glamor and work with it till I feel like it. I’ll work my way towards it.

I’m biologically female, I identify as a woman but energetically I’m not so feminine. I’m a masculine woman which doesn’t always work out in my favor. And with me working majorly with masculine spirits, and having Belial as a patron just accentuates it.

So, I am working on finding my feminine self, and on being feminine energetically as well. A dark feminine, taking inspiration from Lilith.

I will, after the Qliphoth, try to mainly focus on working with feminine spirits and goddesses. Before I do anything else. This is my main focus. This will be my “glow up”.

Being aggressive is good but being brute is not my thing. I believe that I’m not a hammer that will shatter a rock, but more like water that will cut through it over time. This is what I’m working with and on.

That’s all for this entry. I hope everyone has a good day!


11th May, 2022

Thaumiel, Day 3

the witch’s path is a path of thorns. the path of pain and resilience and facing all that is ugly and vulgar, to find power within and use it as a catalyst for transformation.
the fire in her belly and the rage in her eyes reflect the determination and her will to transform all that is to pure gold and dazzling diamonds.

she is of the cosmos, and she is of the force-
of power, seduction, art and mystery.
she’s the mystic in your dreams and the one that haunts and lingers in your memories.

she leaves her trace wherever she goes and nothing can erase it.

for she is a witch,
and she is a force unto herself.

Last night I dreamt I was driving around, going nowhere.

My periods started today, I’ve been angry af all day. I almost cried during lunch because I didn’t want to eat. I had pizza in the evening. I almost threw my phone across the room today.

Did an immersive ritual with Satan today, with water. Lots of water.

I meditated to him in the evening, talked for a while. That’s it.

That’s all for today’s entry. I hope you have a good day!


14th May, 2022

Qliphothic spheres: Complete

This is not the culmination of my magick, neither is it the highest I can reach. After finishing Thaumiel, and the multiple immersive rites Satan put me through, it has dawned on me that this is merely the beginning. A preparation of what’s to come. A primer for the Gatekeeper pathworking.

The ones I’ve already worked with, I don’t know if I will have to start from the beginning again. Properly this time. Meditations, evocations and conjurations. Spells, rituals and hopefully astral projection (soon).

My clairs have improved, so has my confidence. But my confidence cycles. I have found friends and lost some. I have found the courage to step into baneful magick.

It was good, but I’m not done yet. I have yet to finish the tunnels. It is not required, Belial said. But I had already started, I won’t leave it half done.

I am to first channel a personal set of “keys” to the “gates” for my gatekeeper pathworking.

That’s all for this entry. I hope everyone has a good day!


Congrats and a job well done on this point in your path! I hope you continue to succeed in your next set of workings. :slightly_smiling_face:


Thank you! :purple_heart::purple_heart::purple_heart:


Chief you haven’t even began. Trust me. There is so much to learn, so much to do. So much room for growth.

I will give you an advice from my experience. It may not resonate and thats fine.

After an intense and contuinous work, you kinda feel lost. I mean, I had this, you may have it in future or not. Because in my experience now there will be many more paths open to you, keep your eyes open and you will see. Pick one and go with that. It should be that will be helping you right now AND in future. Nice job, yo.


Aye :muscle:

thank you chief

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I read ur whole journal and honestly it inspired me for some one with less tools and space could achieve so much keep up the great work :dragon::cyclone::love_you_gesture:

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That’s a lot of posts :flushed:
Glad I was able to inspire you though ^^
Thank you and good luck :muscle:


Onion I been wanting to talk to you about your qliphothtic journey, I am wondering if its okay to pm you?

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sure man, go ahead


Well not everyone one of em But ye Many lol Any goodluck on Ur journey Sis :love_you_gesture:

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17th May, 2022

Initiating through the Tunnels of Set: Thagirion to Satariel
Golachab to Satariel

After this, I have only 3 tunnels left.

My immersion continues, although I was hesitant due to some…history from my past lives. But with encouragement I have taken the step, to not restrict myself anymore.

These past few days I was resting and thinking about a few things.

I watched City of Angels last night, bawled my eyes out. Really good movie.

I have been feeling anger towards my friend, I cannot bear her voice.

That’s all I can think of for now. I hope you all have a good day.


18th May, 2022

L: You still act out of loneliness. You work for things but don’t give them the space to manifest.

L: How is working with Satan going?
M: It’s hard
L: It’s only going to get harder
M: I don’t know if I can take that
L: It’s too late now, buckle in. This pain is your sacrifice. You already knew the benefits and risks, didn’t you?
M: (╥﹏╥)

Today Satan made sit through an event that almost triggered an anxiety attack. I was meditating with crystal bowl sounds and was turning the volume up to escape the event, but he kept making me lower the volume.

S: Sit through it. Detach. Detach. You must detach

It was, extremely fucking difficult to do. I wanted to shout and cry, I was straining to go through it by being in the moment which was honestly too much for my nervous system. But thankfully it ended soon.

I chilled with Prince Orobas and Lucifer in the evening. Played some music.

I offered King Belial and King Bael some lychee s.

I have a project due Friday which I haven’t started doing and it is stressing me out but ah well. If there is anything that I’ve gotten used to, it’s finishing things last minute.

I have a slight headache, so I will sleep early today. That’s all for this entry, I hope everyone has a good day!


19th May, 2022

Prince Orobas: Your happiness is valid, so is the pain that comes from it.

I want to punch someone today, yell at her to tell her to stop whining.

Today morning I woke up with a throbbing headache. I had breakfast, drank water and took a shower. I got a healing sigil from Lilith and enchanted my water with it.

Did some soul searching today.

I offered King Paimon some vanilla wafers.

I have to do a project now, I’m tired…

That’s all for this entry, I hope everyone has a good day.


21st May, 2022

I had a test today, it went well. I always get nervous after I’m done answering. Because I finish extremely early when I study, and because I don’t take a lot of pages. I finished in just one page today when it took my friends 2 or a few, so I was very nervous while submitting.

But I have small handwriting, like a font size of 12-14 in MS Word, so there’s that. And it wad a blank paper, no rules, so I have no idea what my font size was.

Anyways, it’s done and dusted. They take best of 2 among 4 assignments in the semester exams, and I have good numbers. I fear, but I shouldn’t. I need to find balance of being confident and not becoming over confident.

I have my statistics test Monday. I’ve been studying for it since evening and I’m having fun, because a friend is teaching me and he explains it really well. Brother if you see this, know this. I’m getting over my fear of numbers thanks to you. Thank you man :purple_heart:

I dreamt of a supermarket last night. There was a lipstick which looked like amethyst. It was very violent and had gold flakes, like a lapis. It was very pretty and had a dark purple color. I love dark lipsticks, so I obviously bought it. But I didn’t use it because I thought it would be toxic.

Oh amethyst lipstick, I hope I find you in real life. In good quality that is not haphazardous to health. There’s a market here that sells cheap makeup but I do not buy it because you can’t have a quality control there…


I made a wishing stalk today.

(I love Gaga)

The stalk is of the lychees I had offered Belial. He told me to save it, and the lychee peels.

I googled magickal properties of lychee:

it is sweetness, happiness, beauty, energy, divination, motivation, wishes and promotes positive energy.

No wonder Belial told me to keep it.

The feather to connect to the spirit realm.

I also made a spell box today, like a jar but it’s a box.

Anyways, close to midnight and I’m getting hungry :weary:

That’s all for this entry folks. Good night!


@Onion did you skip the abyss? I do not see any journal on that ?

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I spent a whole day in there, but I forgot to add it. Belial “put” me there when I was having some health issues to sort of recalibrate? my energy body. I believe this was before Ghagiel.


23rd May, 2022

Gate 1: Satan

I had my statistics test today. It went fine, the prof is very chaotic.

Working with Satan so far has been gruesome. The little thing he made me do (making me sit through a panic attack) has desensitized me to experiencing stronger waves of anxiety. Like, I’m able to maintain my calm through stressful situations a bit better now. Sort of weird really. Satan is just putting me through the wringer.

I do not have the “keys” to the other “gates” yet. Sure I could use BALG books buttttttt ehh it’s expensive AF. And I just don’t feel like following it. So I channel my own sigils and method to work with them.

Plus I do not have the space right now to keep the books.

I made a little drawing for Prince Orobas.

I’m sleepy today.

That’s all for this entry everyone, I hope you have a good day!


24th May, 2022

Gate 1: Satan

“You’re thinking again”
“Of course I am”
“What are you thinking about?”

My lover usually says that, when I’m sitting and zoning out, overthinking or mulling over something. Thoughts getting thunk. I have a test tomorrow but I was unable to study a lot for it. I couldn’t concentrate at all, I couldn’t get myself to begin studying.

I’m not stressed about tomorrow, but I am concerned about it.

Satan popped in, I asked him to visit my dreams. He said okay.

There’s drama at my home again. I mean, it never stopped. Out of sight out of mind. But I can’t shake the off the feeling that I’m being lied to, again. My sister called and told me of the few things that have been going on at home, one also regarding an upcoming trip but my parents didn’t mention it to me.

I don’t know who to believe, I don’t know who is lying who is telling the truth. In January I went home and they told me to come because I was sick. I dragged my half sleepy and muddle headed self home only to know that my sis had mild covid. Absolutely no one told me. My mum also had fever and I ended up partially playing caretaker to both.

At least I had the privilege to be sleeping alone that time, with my sister in another room so I could at least talk and cry to my then boyfriend (now ex).

Anyways, I’m still a little numb yet a little worried about tomorrow’s test.

I’m gonna distract myself on YouTube and have dinner and see what to do…see if I can study. We’re studying defense mechanisms and I’m trying to think about where this fits, and me thinking about it fits it into an immature defense mechanism called “Intellectualisation”.

Anyways, that’s all for this entry. My head is fucked. I hope you all have a good day!