10th May, 2022
20:20
Thaumiel, Day 2
I dreamt that I was having a good time with my friends and cousins I think, then my dad called me to get something from “the” hospital. I went there, it was a wheelchair, my sister was also there. She told me to get into an elevator and after I went in she messaged me (tw// violence) that the lift was to be repaired and the one who went before me got his skull cracked.
I went in on the 13th floor, and I saw as the lift went down wayy to quick at odd numbered floors. 13, 11, 9, and so on.
After I came out unscathed my sister asked how I survived. I had no answer.
Then, it was holi. I wanted to ask a very attractive classmate of mine if he wanted to come with me to a friend’s house to play together. But before I could do so my mother came, dragged me away and started yelling at me for something.
Then we stopped by to eat something, now it was something I love (vada pav) and I was literally holding it in my hand, I took a bite and then she started yelling at me in front of everyone again. I was crying and then I woke up crying too, at 7:27 in the morning.
I had taken a nap in the afternoon, where I saw I went to a small eatery. It was very cozy and cute with air conditioning and I was getting ready for a date with my lover. But, BUT, I woke up.
cries
Now, as you might have noticed, if not then do notice, the change in my profile picture. I usually pick profile pictures I resonate with but this time I’m doing the opposite thing.
I’m gonna use this profile photo as a virtual glamor and work with it till I feel like it. I’ll work my way towards it.
I’m biologically female, I identify as a woman but energetically I’m not so feminine. I’m a masculine woman which doesn’t always work out in my favor. And with me working majorly with masculine spirits, and having Belial as a patron just accentuates it.
So, I am working on finding my feminine self, and on being feminine energetically as well. A dark feminine, taking inspiration from Lilith.
I will, after the Qliphoth, try to mainly focus on working with feminine spirits and goddesses. Before I do anything else. This is my main focus. This will be my “glow up”.
Being aggressive is good but being brute is not my thing. I believe that I’m not a hammer that will shatter a rock, but more like water that will cut through it over time. This is what I’m working with and on.
That’s all for this entry. I hope everyone has a good day!