On the Art of Being An Asshole

This is not directly about magick, par se, but it is relevant to the forum and life in general, I feel.

There are many ways a person can embody the Asshole Archetype, but some are more useful than others. I seem to be getting this down pretty well, so I will share some of my gnosis :slight_smile:

  1. Assholes can be respected and thought of as assholes at the same time. What seems to be the deciding factor is whether or not you bring a higher degree of value to any situation than you do degree of asshole. Ever hear the word ‘grudgingly’ used in this context?: I don’t like the guy, but I grudgingly have to agree". If this scenario applies to you, you have learned at least something about this finer point of assholerey.

  2. A sarcastic asshole is usually much more approachable and appreciable than a passive/aggressive asshole. Nobody wants to deal with a passive aggressive asshole for a myriad of reasons. They talk shit. They also tend to be manipulative cowards and backstabbers. Don’t even bother with trying on the obnoxious asshole role. You will end up hating yourself most likely.

  3. Being an effective sarcastic asshole is a subtle art of it’s own, even in bombastic examples. Effective sarcasm requires at least some thought behind it, so dummies need not apply. Humor is a good vehicle of delivery, but keep it general. You can be filthy, but don’t make overt attacks on specific demographics or habits, unless company dictates doing so is appropriate or advantageous to you in some way. You wouldn’t want to say some dumb racist-sounding shit without intending to, right?

  4. Be blunt. Be direct. Abrasive is fine, too. But try to be honest. The asshole Archetype is rendered powerless if found to be full of shit. Then you go from being thought of as an asshole to being thought of as a joke. No bueno.

  5. Feel free to call bullshit openly, and to challenge the ideas of others. But if someone tries to explain, give them a chance. You do have to be prepared to have your own thoughts challenged and defeated, otherwise there is no room for you to improve your own thinking and grow, and the entire experience is wasted.

  6. Know when to pull your punches. There is a fine line between asshole and bully, sometimes. Be sure not to cross it or you lose the power behind your words. Never a good thing. On the other hand, never feel bad about turning into a wrecking ball should anyone else cross those same lines against you. Provocation is no defense, so don’t feel guilty. We are adults, so you have to own your actions, as does everyone else.

***Laws regarding being an asshole in your country may differ than the nation of this author’s residency. Always be sure to consult a qualified legal specialist before engaging in activities associated with the Asshole Archetype. Individual results may vary. Offer available only to persons of legal adult age in their country of residence.



The prime criterion for an asshole is someone who thinks s/he is immune to societal decorum, social protocol, and showing disrespectful behaviour toward others in public and private settings.

It takes an asshole to deal with an another asshole.


I get told I’m an asshole all the time a little shit head etc :poop:

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Pretty sure they all stink.

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Could be argued saying people stink is, in itself, assholish - which leads to the problem, that people who strive most for the state of non-assholedom, often become the biggest assholes over time, witness the quest for holiness that has led to some rather unholy atrocities. :wink:


If you play their game back to them most assholes get offended and run to their mommies…


Exactly. See entries 5 and 6 in the advert above. Anyone can be an asshole, but most cannot do it effectively and still get what they want. That’s when it becomes an art form. There are still a handful of people whose level of mastery just makes my jaw drop in respect.

Right again. This was more geared towards improving the assholery approach, so antisocial people can still thrive and learn how to have fun assholing.

Wrong. Only a dick can handle an asshole :wink:



If you are getting told then you aren’t doing it right, IMO.


Fascinating, how much do you think assholedom is socially learned vs genetic? :thinking:

Example last year i decided to look up my family tree, still a bit murky beyond 1865 but i did find an ancestor who died at the ripe old age of 87, in a bar fight, with the police, also suspected of killing anywhere from 12 to 69 other men…


@Woodsman81 I don’t think being an asshole is an art, if an asshole gets things it only means people around let him/her slide by or scared of the asshole…

Every asshole is shallow, delusional, and reprehensible

I’m a fan of justice, so don’t like people acting too smart and getting away hurting others in any form or fashion


Your ancestor sounds like a badass, holy shit!

To answer the question, though, I think it is a bit of both. Sure, learned, but studies on personality are starting to reveal that some of our traits do indeed seem to be inherited. From observations of my own family I would agree.

I also think that it can be a result of personal liberation, as opposed to conditioning or inherited trait. I don’t mean ‘not giving a fuck’ so much as I mean feeling no obligation at all to participate in the mind fuck dealt to society. Niceties, taboos against behavior, etc. Things that are purely the result of effective black magick performed on society.

I personally fall into all three to some degree or another. I just do not advocate that approach be taken to the degree that it causes the person undue trouble.


I hear you. I just think our definition of what an asshole is differs. What you are describing I would call a bully. You have to never cross that line.

Tell that to the current POTUS. I am not commenting one way or another on the guy’s politics, because that is not what the thread is about. But he is an asshole, and has perfected his art enough to become a US President. He handed Angela Merkel a Starburst telling her “…don’t say I never gave you anything.” Months later the EU backs down in the tariff war. What a fucking asshole, lol. An effective fucking asshole :wink:


All our ancestors were assholes, you only survivied the stone age by being a bigger asshole than the nice, gentle, intelligent mammoths and the other tribes.

As homo sapiens, we genocided an entire species of humans, neanderthals, just because we wanted their land.

Our immune systems are assholes when it comes to selfishly and single-mindedly protecting us, they only allow in lifeforms that are a net benefit, throw a tantrum at any that don’t, and turn on our own cells via auto-immune disorders if they feel like it/don’t have enough to do. :thinking:

And high status is a marker for longevity, status is usually acquired through assholish activity…


I think we are on the same page. Being an asshole can most definitely consist of disregard for the feelings/hopes/dreams/customs/opinions/sentiments of others in the process of achieving a goal.

That’s more my brand of asshole. I just draw the line at taking unprovoked actions against people. I am an asshole, not a fucking asshole.


Assholes are assholes, IMO, OP. They all shit, but some eat shit, too. There are few kinds of people that aren’t in ‘resting asshole mode’, I promise! It’s half upbringing, half spirituality, and all state of mind.

Smiles are the original sigils! :slight_smile:


Bully is some one who picks on others and in almost every case a physical brushing is involved. Bullies know they are insecure and they want to fill those insecurities acting tough with others.

Assholes never get physical…happens very rare…what I’m trying to say is assholes think the rules are for others not for them, they are the ones who speak loud at movies, who steal other’s pudding from the refrigerator at work, they try to prove a point just for the heck of it, show to others that s/he is smart by belittling others…we all have/had a bossohole at some point right!


For your reading pleasure. :grin:


That’s brilliant, and also about sums up my view.

Apart from the bit about keeping a budget, I vote #TeamAsshole


I thought that was a chocolate yoghurt :grin: but it’s the shit emoji :grin:

Oh,tears of joy…thank you Deadpool and Weasel


Good article…seems like assholes changed from 70s to now.